starting to believe love does not exist

nothing is forever

I dont trust anyone

today i told my mom i want to work in the cemetery
she laughed like i was joking but i told her i meant everything
i wanna dig up the graves and put the flowers on the faces
i need to live next to the hoarded silence that only closed coffins can save and eat with the worms when im slipping from what is real
and feel some ******* peace when war is all i feel
i want to live i want to die
i want to be alive for ten seconds without needing to take my life
i want to love like i feel love can be like
but everyone is so ******* different and no one loves like its right
i told her its like im a god like i could fly
and river like the heavens crying god from the skys
i rip out every heart that ever tried to live inside  
mastered the forgiveness of people who said they would never lie
and plastered their faces into the corners my mind
everyone is a lie every god is a lie
and my face is melting hell to hold off the parasites
they still **** me with every bite and its a lie its the lie
its what i know is hiding inside
I am what is never mentioned and what goes there to die

i see u just slide by
like nothing ever happend
like years never happend
like i never showed u life when you were empty
like u never took from me any chance of living right

Leaving soon

change your password
keep to yourself

U have to become emotionless and savage to survive in this world so much evil loss pain and death

i showed u sylvia plath for her head in the oven
not her words i youtubed hunter s thompson for the ashes in a cannon not the drug use

done trying im here now but you are not ready

all i want is real love ever since i can remember everything else  is a byproduct of trying to find this nothing else has ever mattered