Told myself never again
I don’t let nobody in

Anyone can be what u need but no one can be exactly what u want

I have to teach myself how to love u again

I don’t trust u

Ugly
Uneven
Warped
Inconsistent
Unhealthy
Never enough

in venere veritas

I been trying but idk how to

I don’t look at u the same anymore

Diamond diamond diamond diamonds on me
Dancing Diamond diamond diamonds on me Dancing Diamond diamond diamonds on me Dancing Diamond diamond diamonds on me
Dancing

These demons keep calling my soul
I said **** all of you hoes
Im ballin outta control
Im ballin outta control

Feels like nothing

Never that person for someone else
And they are always that person for me

It’s nothing new

I see u

Impulse impulse pleasure desire death

Putting faith in anything apart from yourself is irrational and will never show u reality

Dark evil **** that no one will ever know

Everybody is hiding **** every person alive

And I am worse

You are all the same

Perpetually unhappy

A sphere that no one can penetrate
Alone

I dont trust anyone

I love you, Joshua

.kabnee

real love does not exist

done giving my whole self to people that dont deserve it

potholes and gravel
dust to dust

everyone can love and respect you in the world and it means nothing if the one you want too doesnt see it

u know nothing about me

i dont want to know you more than i do

i really dont think this will work

week 1 constant intense ***
week 2 slightly dimished
week three effort dissapears
conversation changes
everyone else is of higher importance
because u have alreay overcame the challenges and claimed what you fought for
texts dissapear
*** dissapears
except for in the movie in their eyes everytime another challenge walks by
and u are alone now together
dreaming of sleeping with other people
for the rest of your life

people need what is not given to them freely
when they recieve it everything else diminishes into nothing and a relationship is born

starting to believe love does not exist

maybe i already turned away what i needed

both of you really ****** me and u know i never deserved it

idk why this is so hard for me

u ask someone please tell me the truth
they lie to you
and thats all there is

i showed u sylvia plath for her head in the oven
not her words i youtubed hunter s thompson for the ashes in a cannon not the drug use

i see u just slide by
like nothing ever happend
like years never happend
like i never showed u life when you were empty
like u never took from me any chance of living right

u dont even know me
or make the effort

idk if i can take this anymore

all i want is real love ever since i can remember everything else  is a byproduct of trying to find this nothing else has ever mattered

how is dark and where is god
approaching the end

never meant to feel happiness

change your password
keep to yourself

nothing is forever

even when im together im alone
no one sees this like i see this

i know things i cant tell u
if i tell u its on me and
i will never let it be that way

i still dont trust you
something isnt right