Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
It's one thing to be torn apart by the hateful words of others,
It's another thing entirely to be the one berating and destroying yourself,
Cursing all of the mistakes you have made,
Beating yourself for all the things you cause to go wrong,
Destroying the shreds of self esteem you keep trying to weave together,
Into something that wont look as mangled and destroyed as you feel inside,
Drowning on the tears you cause yourself to shed,
Sinking in the abyss of self doubt you've created,
Burring yourself in the bottomless hole you've dug in your mind,
The hole you throw yourself into day after day,
The dark pit where your hatred and anger devour you,
Where others can't hope to drag you out,
The hole where you are so completely alone that you start giving up,
The fight seeps out of you, slowly,
Tear by tear,
Week by week,
Until you're nothing but a hollow shell called 'you'.
When I looked in the mirror,
I finally started to see the things he loves
My heart is becoming numb
As my mind runs in circles
Attempting to escape truth

Life has taken me to the edge
Facing me with every choice
Of which builds my character

Like a mirror I see myself
But I do not fathom anything
I only question every bit

As I ponder where I stand
I find I am not naked here
My bare skin is embalmed

While my thoughts thrive
Like mold in the summer
As they bite like winter cold

Who is this, I’ve become?
How have I arrived here?
And where am I to go?

I long to feel alive again
Wishing I could feel you
As that time by the lake

He’s done something
You have changed me
My flesh cannot understand

With this I become a puzzle
And the vital piece is lost
I am broken like the dead

I’m trying to discover humans
But I cannot complete the task
For I am resting in the silence

That I have embraced
Through the pain I’ve claimed
By the possibilities I denied
I was swinging on this swing
Like a child from the past
And these thoughts swarmed me
As the bees do in the spring

The time slowed, but I was happy
A blissful moment I yearn for
When my mind was running wild
But my heart was sound and still

It's in these moments I feel again
The beauty that living delivers us
Like the touch of sun after winter
And your flesh begins to smile

But this has passed and here I am
Again in this pit that I've dug
Where I think myself into a whirlwind
As I sink deeper into the hell I've seen

And so life goes round and round
Like a Ferris wheel spins and spins
But there is no such joy in this
Rather an empty hollow space I know

I'm in the void I ran from long ago
Wishing I would have stayed
Wondering what would have been
If only I accepted the reality I was in

My human self filled with chaos
Has brought me to the false present
That is really the death I've chosen
The very fate I've longed to escape

Yet somewhere in me waits for you
I cling to a hope that circles are lies
And there is a way to end this
That I won't keep ending back here

So as these moments of sleep
Pass me by like the wind in the fall
I will float like a leaf until I land
On the grounds my desire's dream
From times unknown
My vision went blank
The memory is gone
When I wasn't there

I was held captive
By the bottle of falsity
In the midst of a crowd

My deepest possession
Was stolen in the dark
I was more dead then them

But I woke up in life
In the hell of my sins
Drowned by own blood

A strange taste sunk in
Bittersweet like rind
But it burned like liquor

My flesh was emptied
I was carrying my heart
As it diminished in hand

The air was thick and wild
My lungs filled by dust
Of what was left behind

My song turned melancholic
As my soul hid quickly
With the depths of my spirit

The years passed
And like a mirage
They dissipated

Now I dine alone
At the broken table
I placed in my home

There's a part I've lost
A place I'll never find
I am the ghost of my death
I found you in my dream
But only the good parts
In the midst of a hell
You were a protector
A lover holding me close
But it was fleeting
Like all these emotions
Swimming through me
I woke up more empty
Than when I was that night
Alone in the raining snow
Weeping with the winter
This spirit of mine is gone
Resting in the grave
That I dug long ago
I asked to swim in you
And drowned in the lust
As the night falls upon me
My mind drifting away
Along with the sunset
I find the soulless flesh
That still longs for the pain
The ambiguous love
Veiled by sins of humanity
And in this I walk the aisle
A bride to the broken
Like a ******* child
Trying to find the tangible
But only grasping hopes
That linger like dust
Filling my lungs with dirt
A taste I know too well
My fantasy in my bed
Will **** my heart softly
And I will live transparently
As the ghost I have become
I hope these dreams will die
Just like I have a thousand times
You were my vice for too long
I'll bury you with my bones
the air is heavy tonight
and my heart is an anchor
kissing the feet of my soul
while my lungs begin to swell
beneath the sea of my mind

as the music rings in my ear
mellifluously lingering
reminding me of all the fish
that swim within my spirit
and feed upon my bones

my hands tremor softly
while my skin begins to ripple
as my blood starts to rush
my pulse like an african drum
causing my thoughts to dance

I sink into my bodies’ motion
like a rock thrown into a river
but I sway like a leaf falling
in a somber mid october day

the sounds embrace my head
and as I come back to reality
I see the hell I’ve known
But I see the sun in the moon
and hope to love once again
was it love, or was I just a sinking ship?
I've forgotten how to live
like a man on death row
accustomed to four walls
and the monotony of routine
waiting for the inevitable

yet still I hold out for the miracle
some dna evidence that this is all a mistake
that there is something waiting for me
and that this death will give way
to pastures full of sheep
waiting for the shepherd to return
what's wrong with you ?
they ask me all  the time.
i'm wrong  with me ,
i'm too much to live with .
dear fast food companies,
there is no way to forgive
how you hold animals so captive
dollar signs in your eyes
no remorse for animal cries
and the way you changed us too
because when we eat your food
we know what's inside
we know what's on our plate used to have two eyes
we turn our head
they can be dead
there's no fuss
after all, they're not us
but that's where you're not right
when we were kids, we would put up a fight
if we heard that farm animals were eating drugs and couldn't have fresh air
we used to care
but then we were dehumanized
we'd prefer to hear the lies
we even give a cheer
when we hear
two animal lives for a dollar seventy five
it's sad there's no way to stop it
3,712,415 people won't quit
their nice quiet jobs
just because some tree hugging slobs
remind you animals are dying

dear fast food companies,
don't take my money, i want change
Next page