rhinoceri blare
bulls snoozing chipmunks oink, clear
carnivore deafens

yes, i lied to you. yes, i said things to make you happy. yes, those things i told you killed me inside. yes, i felt my hands turn into earthquakes after. yes, i pretended to be what you think i should be. yes, i let you treat me like ****. yes, you made me feel insignificant. yes, i was falling apart. yes, i thought about crashing my car so i wouldn’t see your face again. yes, i tried, i tried, i tried. yes, i’m tired.

I fell asleep
With you,
Chest to chest, our hearts beat too,
Together,
And I dreamed,
Of splendidly things, and fairy tale lands, and kingdoms and kings, of a moon and a star, and of here and afar, and in all of these places (whatever the weather)
I hummed to the tune,
that our hearts beat together

we’re sitting in silence and i can feel it somewhere in my bones
can feel it somewhere that you’re going to leave me someday
that you’ll look at me with eyes of strangers meeting for the first time
(and for the last time, as far as they’re concerned)
you’re whispering against my ear and it’s resonating at the base of my
spine and you’re telling me you’ll never leave, you’re so dead in
love with me and i know that you are, i can hear it in your voice
i can see it in your eyes
they way they light up when you think i’m not looking
but you’ve got bitter settled somewhere deep inside your heart
and sometimes it unearths itself, sometimes it
cuts me in places i’ll cover and try not to show you
i’ll dress the wounds myself, don’t you worry about me
and i know you won’t
one day, you really won’t
you’re lacing up promises to me and you think they aren’t empty but
they are, darling.
they are.

we’re sitting in silence and i can feel it somewhere in my bones
though you’re thousands of miles away and you haven’t held me in months
that you’re looking at pictures of me with eyes of strangers
meeting for the first time
and you’re looking for the last time, as far as you’re concerned
you’re whispering against someone else’s ear now,
and she’s thinking you’re moving mountains in her, i’m sure of it
and if she doesn’t feel that way, you get away fast
you think you’re so dead in love with her and i’m
sure you think you are
you were always so sure of things
so positive you had it right
and you’ve still got bitter settled somewhere deep inside your heart
have you let it come out? has she seen your hidden darkness?
i hope you have someone there to dress your wounds
if it ever cuts you in places you won’t show
and i’ll try not to worry about you
one day, maybe i won’t
i’m lacing up promises to myself that i’m going to be okay and i’m
swearing they aren’t empty but
they are, darling.
they are.

-k.c.
*10-03-2014

A monochrome film plays
Over and over.
To a singular audience.
It rewinds.
Pauses.
Fast-forwards.
It sticks on one frame
Over and over.
In the scene
It's me, lost in a
Labyrinth.
It's walls lit with
projected clips
of a monochrome film.
Playing.
Over and over.