I knew before we ever spoke I'd never have to hide
That it was you to whom my lonely being had been tied
I put my feet upon the road that led me into you
And though we couldn't comprehend, I felt you feel it too
You took me down the windy path that showed your every part
And when our light was bright enough I raptured to your heart
I let it keep a beat for me too many times to count
Relied upon it's rhythm which I could not live without
I learned with grace to carry you, the only love I could
I hope you know you taught me this, I hope you understood
Remember me entirely, remember when I can't
And beckon me, but silently, my head awaits your chant

It wouldn't be
my place
to tell you what
you want to hear To
play with your delusions,
make the devil's horns appear
I'd rather be a figment of the thoughts you never seek
The ones
that won't betray you when
you've fallen into sleep
At ease with all the pressure
there's enough of it to
****
To keep you in your
head until its growth is stunted, still
you never thought you'd see the heavy future
you can feel
But there is nothing else, today has
never felt so
**real

Forge a line upon the vein of everything alive
A ceiling for the blood to touch when you are in your mind
The walls are four, foundation gone, and yet your structure stands
Even though you hold it now with shaking bluish hands
Commit to this and you will see that as the seconds pass
The marble stone you once possessed no longer stays in tact
And as the remnants dissipate they mix with flesh and bone
To resurrect the paradigm that you can be your own

it
happened in september, i remember it so well
a day inside the life of someone going back to hell
but what could you have possibly forgotten to forget

to process in your memory as something you'd reset
for on the day you let it in your tracks were made anew

the very ones you worked so hard to gradually remove
and now the square you're sitting in is labeled with a one
the mind you dress with heaviness you beg to be
*undone

There's something strange in my anatomy
something there doesn't belong

I wonder if you know me, if it's well enough to see
That you are not the question mark you once had used to be
And it is not because of what you did or said or saw
Not that I'm denying the existence of it all
But I remember thinking - I am sick of what I am
I'm tired of pretending that I cannot understand
A fool is made of everyone, the peoples' flesh and bone
We share such commonalities yet often feel alone
By looking into someone else we try to see ourselves
And break another mirror, turn a body to a cell
Go back to what I said about the part with you and I
And let us clear the spaces we had both once occupied

A screen was posted on a wall, the corners of my mind
Were stretched so very thin indeed, reverberating time

And vapid personalities then danced upon the veil
Attempting to impose themselves as those who never fail

In perfect step with everything, their tendencies align
Allow for new anatomies to form upon their spine

Collect, repel, reorganize with regular delay
I cannot tell you what's become of every single day

To calculate would take too long, the change of pace too much
And I've become immune to what is parallel to touch

See, I have learned their song by now, I've memorized the beat
Its rhythm pulses fervidly, intensifies the heat

The space is filled with every breath of those who write the notes
A call to those who cannot keep the music in their throats

carry me high, bury me low
tell me I'm the only one you'll never let go
speak it away, talk all the time
ask me every question then crawl out of my mind
I am without what is within
you will be to someone else what to me you've been
look what you've done, nothing has changed
how could you expect me to decide I should stay
why did you think this could be real
now that I have welcomed silence, I want to feel
what a remark, words from the heart
I can hear the beat of lovers falling apart

he lives for every future he could ever hope to have
except the one that matters, one to never hold him back
a path discretely paved for his own searching soul to find
unraveled in the questions buried somewhere in his mind
his tired feet have found another stone along the way
"tomorrow needs to come, there's nothing left of me today"
too in a rush to notice he had just to turn around
embrace the life behind him yielding patiently to sound

Blood* is not as thick as all the people may have thought
Bodies disappearing, being sold and being bought
We can either walk away until our time has come
Or keep our feet on something even when the rest go numb
Burn away the layers of the skin upon our backs
Trickle through the minds a generation of attacks
There is something sweeter than a lie within one's care
Riding on the edge of what should never have been there
Deep inside the center of the truth - you'll never die
People who are waiting there have told you with their lives

I couldn't see the world the night I saw your face instead
And somehow came to memorize the places in your head
You must've known these very roads would pave their way to me
Or at the very least prepared for time to let it be
So as the skies that you have kept awaken with the sun
The light reflected in your eyes will render me undone

i wish that i could tell you everything you need to hear, a sound coherent message that would travel through your ears

i know that if I listen you will tell me what to say, and so i close my eyes, begin to speak without delay

the fear will neither stop me nor put needles in my mouth, and time is only present so I can't not let it out

i might be repetitious but that serves a purpose too, in marking like an accent all the necessary truths

so carry any lessons that belong inside your hands, and meet me at the corner where the ground is made of sand

for here you'll find the water that is buried but contained, and should you pass the cup to me I'll take in what remains

continue on ahead of me and I will watch your back, make note of any voices that can put you off your track

remember what you told me and then fight to not forget, the road may be unyielding but your walk's not finished yet

the days have gotten shorter now and he can barely see
and when the sun has disappeared he'll let it buried be
he never fights the moon at all and feels its push and pull
and when he falls asleep tonight he'll ask to be its fool  
in slumber do the shadows often rearrange again
but when he has his eyes awake he'll walk away from them
his feet will not be rooted in the elements exposed
for he has found a hiding place for memories to go  
his thoughts will be the sermon he may never cease to tell
*"I'm not afraid to die," he said, "I bid you all farewell"

I've thought about the future ever since I understood
that I could walk with purpose in the shadow of the good
And when I wasn't looking I would fall into a trap
but everyone who knew me knew that I was coming back
I may have been unfolded and divided into three
But every part together is the whole of what is me
I'm talking to myself as much as I have talked to you
I won't be too upset if you don't see the way I do
I've been here long enough to watch a dream become a wake
A state of adaptation I can keep or try to change
I met my little self again and there I was in awe
I thought she wouldn't know me but my goodness was I wrong

A dull pencil always reminds me to sharpen my intuition.

My heart has weathered follies I may never understand
And what of this perdition nearly ending what I can't
To bare another season I will need to be assured
That everything before this has been nothing but a blur
My lips have tasted fire but my tongue is still in tact
and I will let its fury run its course along my back
With everything in motion there's a way for me to tell
That I am coming out of some relentless little hell
I'll dance myself in circles with the strength that has remained
And slip into my skin as though I choose to live again
Appearance has no value lest it channels what's inside
and once the people see it they will open up their eyes

There is a blessing that I cannot give
I fear if you take it I'll no longer live
I've gotten so close to releasing it still
Knowing i'd vanish once you got your fill
But all of the anger has bled from my bones
And love will restore what my body condones
The moment is here and delaying can wait
Surrender my words before it is too late

I must've died a thousand times before I somehow came to find
A boy who knew the same as I
that we belonged inside the sky
And so the days would wander by
We'd gotten close, not asking why
For it was truth that made us fly
Until the middle of July
.
.
.
Our story ceased to carry on
Released our hands and we were gone
Direction put him down upon
The very carriage he had drawn
My voice was harsh, he heard it wrong
I said too much, a denouement
But save the chance he comes along I'll keep my voice to sing our song

in moving past the tension
i was carrying inside
i could feel the knots
as they untangled and untied
it's not what i'd expected
of myself but i have learned
the fire never ceases
you endure it or you burn

though i have not the power
to restore what I have lost
my skin may be a burden
but it's nothing to be tossed
i'll take as many lessons
as the heat can bear to teach
and fly into the sun
when it is close within my reach