love made me do it

​
a handful of moments
i wish i could change
but i was taken away

i'll take facetime & phone calls over texting any day

i keep running but

my demons keep catching up to me

i don't know what do anymore

-

what do you care what i think anyway? i don’t even count, right? i could disappear forever and it wouldn’t make any difference.

​
“you never do anything right”
“you don’t belong here”
“i don’t want to see your face”
“get out of my sight”
“i hate you and i don’t want you”
“you’re so stupid”
“who would want you as a daughter?”

"save me"

                                                                                                   "from what?"

"myself"

when we met,
the sprout blossomed

when we kissed,
the bud bloomed

when we exchanged rings,
the flower grew out

when we were at life's peak,
the flower shone like the stars

when we were getting older,
the flower started to wither

when you passed away,
the petals started to flow away

i sit here alone,
in front of your
grave, setting
down the flower
that once bloomed
as our love did.

i have loved you,
over the years,
throughout my
life, we overcame
those difficult and
hard years, together.

i love you, and i will
always be with you,
and you will always
be with me, wherever
i go.

"do you ever feel vulnerable, or confused?"

but
no one listens
to her
'cause
she doesn't have
a pretty face
to match her
pretty mind.

i listen to the dream
and all i hear is you

finders keepers



loosers weepers

overthinking

i just need to get closure
i don’t want to get any closer

I open my eyes, but its all a blur.  
everything is gone infront of me

and if you feel ******,
just remember
that ****** is made of flowers
and you, are made of

the people you love
become ghosts inside
of you and like this
you keep them alive

even after you ruined me for any other,
i cannot regret you.

even as i cleave the flesh of wanting
from the bone, i hope the night ski is pretty
wherever you are.

she loved him

and

he loved her

songs or stories

don't save people

can anyone make this pain stop?

at school people ask me,

"you look tired, are you sleeping okay?"
"are you okay?"

i just answer,

"I'm fine."

but sometimes i just want someone to look at me in the eyes and say,

"no you're not"

you said please don't give up on me

but it's kind of funny,

since you ended up being the one to give up on me

as he kissed me, his hands explored my framework.  he planted kisses as he traced my jawline lightly with his fingers.  
"beautiful," he muttered as he planted more kisses down below.  
i moaned in pleasure as he licked right under my *******.  my hands gripped his hair tightly.  
he groaned under his breath and pulled me tightly towards him.  
"i love you," he whispered in my ear.  
"i love you too," i purred back.

if you draw yourself, looking in the mirror

then that’s a self-portrait.  
if you’re looking in the mirror to draw yourself,

you’d probably start you think of who you really are
I reflect on what happened and who I was in the past few years.

and I made this poem.

if i could,
i'd bottle up the way
you look at me

and i would open it
whenever i feel i need
a kiss

or maybe a little
boost of confidence

if i could,
i'd take that look and wear it like a sweater

and although
feeling this way
all of the time
would be nice

having you here
would be better

if you love two people at the same time,
choose the second one. because if you
really loved the first one, then you
wouldn't have fallen for the second.

"and i guess,
*sometimes,
people with stars in their eyes
drown
*in the ocean of life"

making a coincidence was my first mistake.

making that coincidence into fate is my second mistake.

constantly encouraging her and making the fate into destiny..
is my third mistake.

I killed a part of me to keep you alive

i need someone who will understand how unstable i am, sometimes being alone can be dangerous for me but other times its exactly what i need.

if i cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors

you told me that you
were fine, that you
were sober, i believed you.

i got into the car with you,
you smiled and said we'll be fine,
that we'll make it home in one piece.

we were 10 minutes away from
the house when the car swerved,
and everything blurred in front of me.

the windshield shattered
like snowflakes, and
stayed under your skin.

you screamed until
your voice got lost.

and i only know what
that sounds like
because of how scared
you'd get get in movies,
the lights off, and feeling
too disconnected to the
floor at your feet, i wonder
if it was any different.

i try to not think about it,
how you dropped like a red rose,
but it's hard when i call you
to see you if you're coming to school,
only to remember your line's been cut
for about 5 months now.

these aren't the kind of things
you get used to.

as raindrops patter
against the window,
i drum my fingers on
the windowsill, while
sipping my warm tea.

i open my book to the
page i was on before,
and silently take in
all the feelings of the
characters, feelings of
hatred, loneliness, love,
and sadness.  

all these feelings that
i take in, i take in as
my own.  

my own feelings.  

as i turn to the last page,
i sigh and take another
sip of my warm tea and
read the last words at the
end of the page.  

"all these things are true.
         all these things are for you
                 and i will remember you
                          *forever and always."

one day there isn't going to be any room to bury anyone anymore

I'm just another face

in the crowd

.i don’t know where to begin
.how it began
.how it ended
          .all i know is that i am here
          .here right now. and that is all that matters.

behind the masks,
faces suffer loneliness

"why do you write poems like these"

                                                                                                      "i like too"

"why do you like to?"

                                                                                                      "it helps me"

"why does it help you?"

                                                                                                      "it's escape"

"from what?"

                                                                                                      "everything"