When I am sad
I get quiet

simple

Shake a little
on the inside
leaking to my hands

I get sad a lot
Hands shaking so I can barely write
Off somewhere inside
to some distraction
computer, ****, sleep, TV

There are no veins to open
words to fight
drugs to fix

Dying has a long-term contract

When I get sad
I get quiet

simple

Most days of my life I think I'm a no one
And yet the fact that I matter to someone gives me a great deal of courage and hope
It's like I'm hanging from a cliff and someone's offering me a rope

I fail all the great writers and all the great speakers when I believe that my voice doesn't matter.
I fail myself when I put it in my mind that I'm incapable of change, change in myself and in the society.
I am a disgrace to myself when I let all the evil and vices consume me with their shallow darkness.
I am a sinner if I let one misdeed around me tip me off the edge.
I will be guilty when I let someone else's hostility towards me disturb my tranquility.

Yet I know I can be saved,
My mind is a weapon that's what I believe
It can be lethal or it can be a treat,
I have to shape it in a figure I please but that which does not get the better of me.
I am the savior and I am the destroyer of my own conscience.
I must have the faith and courage to face myself and that's when I will be ready to face the evil.

Whatever our souls
Are made of,
His and mine are
The same.
        
                  -Emily bronte (Wuthering heights)