I am not myself
when the moon sits in my head.
My dreams are lost on a shelf
while I am chained to my bed.

I didn't know I was sinking
when I swam to shore.
But I coughed up what I had been thinking,
and was surprised by all the gore.

I cleaned what I could
and moved to my other side.
I found another creature that stood
where I had once died.

There was lightning in their eyes.
An aura of scarlet shown through.
They spit out hateful lies
to twist my world view.

Another battle shall commence,
One that will haunt me for life.
I give my friends my recompense
for the constant sharpening of my knife.

I have been a brave soldier
for longer than I can remember.
I am done seeking the closure
that steeps my mind in burning ember.

I scream when I am forced to
I am a virago
I fight back when I need to
I am a virago
I wield my power when I want to
I am a virago

Like the sun that always misses the moon
The constellation weeps for them

some things will take some time to wean off
whereas others you will drop at will
and some things will take a lifetime of trying
a lifetime of desiring, of wanting, of needing.

Sometimes I questioned myself,

What does my existence mean to others?

What roles do I have

Being around society.

Am I just a pierrot?
Am I your stress ball?
Am I your mirror on the wall? or
Am I just your add-ons to your cart?

Am I written on your favorite list?
Am I categorized at the end of the list?
Am I reaching my expiry date? or
Am I just a mystery bundle that's so bizarre?