the acid in my stomach is ****** and it ******* hurts dude

you said life is like mountains and valleys,

ups and downs.


you said you want me to be on a mountain and not in the valleys.


“i’m like on the bottom, slowly getting up and falling every now and then.”


god i wish i had stayed in that spot.




it’s been one day.



i’ve fallen off the mountain and i don’t have the energy to get back up

yes im happy with them

yes im scared to hold hands with them

yes i kissed them in the bathroom.

i did things with them that we did.



why won't you get over the fact that im over you?


that i dont want you in my life anymore?

Sometimes I don't have control.

                                        And then he comes out.

                                    I know what he's doing.

                                I can see it.

                             Hear his thoughts.

                       Hear the clicking on the keyboard.

                  I know he shouldn't be doing that.

"Hey, that's mean."
                                                                               Pfft. So what?

                  And then I try.
                      To stop him
                            Before he hurts someone.
                                            
                                Sent.

                                      I'm too late.

"Hey! Why'd you send that.."
                                                                    Your friend, your problem.
"He's gonna hate me!"
                                                    Shut the **** up. You're so annoying.


                                          Blocked.

stop treating me like a child.

i can be sad if i want,

just because you said you don’t want me to be sad doesn’t mean it’ll be erased from my set of emotions

nice

i guess 8 years makes it easier to replace

why can’t you stop talking about her?

both of you.


it’s none of your business.


she’s hurting.



and you’re spreading lies.

you’re replacing me with a girl you met last year

maybe it was a bad idea getting into a relationship with you


cause now you come off as toxic and i'm being pulled by both sides

do you want us to take you back?

tell me honestly, do you?

i lay ill for a few days and this is what you do.


we don’t want you back

we never wanted you back


so stop acting like nothing happened.


like you didn’t just crush us like that.


*******.



leave.

******* *******,
thinking you can just come back,

take my spot,

and act like nothing happened.

YOURE A *******

YOU RUINED MY LIFE

I COULDNT GET OVER YOU BECAUSE I STILL LOVED YOU

DONT ACT LIKE YOURE MISS PERFECT


besides,

you’re telling everyone i’m not over you.


news flash, i am.



don’t ever ******* look at me or do that again.


you’re a *******.


stop acting like you didn’t do anything wrong.



that day i lost my girlfriend, now ex, and a best friend.



what happened?


what ******* happened to being best buds like that?



it’s nothing eh?


we’re nothing.



that all meant nothing.



*******, don’t go near me or my friends ever again

stop my cereal man

I love you?

alexander was it?

yes its me again.

ready to make some ******* **** themselves again


**** GET HIM OUT PLEASE

just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you can’t ever just talk to me for a day

I can finally call you mine.

But will you do the same?

our future plans were just like marriage.

i hate that i feel this way

“do you want to make a safe plan just in case”

“are you hurting yourself”

questions i don’t wanna answer

“i’m just pushing you”

pushed me far too much and the limit has been passed

“do you want me to tell your dad?”

heavens no, i couldn’t even imagine the yelling or possibly hitting that would end up happening behind my perfect family doors

“suicidal thoughts?”

if i told you, you’d tell him.




yes.

stop looking at me when we clearly don’t want you back.

i’m ignoring you for a reason *******

can u bring a hoodie for me on wednesday? k thanks

datinf

you are

mhm.








i knew you never loved me anyway

i’m here too but whatever

i wanna die

but you don’t.

so much for double suicide

what am i doing with life

shivering
shaking


cold


its cold in my room.


i just want you to be here so i can hug you until i disappear

how much time until you realise how much i ******* love you

your hangouts are just excuses to see your girlfriend and to make everyone else feel like a ****** third wheel

the poems i write are merely a vent.

some lies, some truths.

you never know which one,

neither do i

i cant help you if you wont let me help...