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Rose Dec 2024
I don’t understand why it feels so far away,
like the blue comforter I cried for, but you never gave me.
Wasn’t it supposed to be soft,
something to hold me when the nights felt endless?

Instead, I lay exposed beneath the weight of cold air,
wondering if I had asked for too much,
if the silence meant I wasn’t meant to be held.
Was it me, or was it everything else,
that made you keep it just out of reach?

And even now, I can’t help but wonder —
what would it have felt like to pull it close,
to finally be warm, and believe I belonged?
P.S.

It wasn’t just a blanket. It was the promise of safety, of care.
A small thing that could have meant I was seen,
that someone wanted me to feel whole.
But you didn’t give it to me, and I didn’t know why.
So I learned to sleep in the cold, convincing myself I didn’t need it,
but I never stopped aching for its warmth.
Rose Dec 2024
Why does it always come back to me,
Not having those around when I need them most?
Is it just me, lost in silence,
Not communicating, feeling like a ghost?

For all that I do, all that I give,
I wish for understanding in return;
I’m tired of being the strong one,
The one who knows yet feels the burn.

For once, I need someone to see,
To understand without my having to spell;
I know I sound like a broken record,
Caught in this cycle, trapped in this shell.

I try my best to be there, to care,
Postponing my plans, leaving troubles behind;
Pretending I’m whole, while I’m barely aware,
Hoping for warmth, a connection to find.

Is it wrong to expect, to want a reply,
To hope for a check-in from those I adore?
Is this what friendship means, a soft, quiet sigh,
A dance of giving, but always wanting more?

Did I miss the memo, all these years long,
Foolishly dreaming of bonds that could thrive?;
Is this what it feels like, to search for a song,
Only to find it’s just me trying to survive?

Who do I ask when I’m weary and worn,
Tired of being the one with the words?
I loved those who listened, but now I’m forlorn,
Only to find they speak only for their own.

Yet still, I hoped for someone who knows,
Who loves words as deeply as I;
But they speak for themselves, as the silence grows,
And I’m left wishing for just a reply.

Is it too much to ask for a few simple words,
A flicker of kindness, a moment to share?
In this vast sea of voices, where silence is unheard,
I yearn for a friend who will truly care.
Rose Dec 2024
I want to quit,
I can’t do this anymore,
The weight of it all —
It crashes, it pours.

I’m drowning in feelings,
Too heavy, too raw,
I don’t want to feel them,
I’m breaking, I fall.

I need the hurt to end,
One way or another,
I need to escape,
To find something other.

I want to quit,
I can’t wear this face,
I’m suffocating slowly,
In this endless race.

I need a way out,
A hand, something solid,
I’m reaching, I’m sinking,
The world feels so pallid.

God, I need help,
I’m screaming inside,
I want to quit,
I don’t want to hide.

— The End —