he wrote my life down like he was me.
he saw the tears i cried and the words i spoke and the lies i told saying
"its alright, i'm okay."
the days i hid away were the ones he would be happy,
but happiness only leaked if you were willing to accept the fact that i was broken.
he locked his eyes into mine
and i couldn't find the key,
so he opened his mouth like these words were going to come out and be my first aid kit
leading towards the light,
failure nailed into a lonely pit,
but he smiled.
the deep inhales
and heavy exhales were my life
communicated in disasters
only to be plastered by my sighs.
and the words
"no i'm just tired"
came out more than the hours i spent washed up on a winters day
without a smile or something to say so say it.
say the words like you mean,
no twisted vocabulary,
the laughs may vary,
not many people know about feelings.
though feelings lead to love
love leads to hate,
be my fate by the reason i wake up every morning.
be the sunshine that will help me ignore the closed door of family.
the scattered songs
or the long days and nights with prosperous fights with envy as my gun and no shield.
the disparity and loneliness of home only cut me down more,
the scars opened into black holes and only oblivion was taken in by them while i nodded
accepting that my black hole was only me and myself.
i only heal my wounds to hide them
i'm not hiding any more.
he wrote
"i found you."
i found me to.

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

Once I undertook a journey,
upon the very face of our entire world.
To view for myself the many pictures,
and written descriptions in all the geography
books and History Classes, National
Geographic magazines and movies seen.

A Quest to see with my own eyes what
I had only experienced second hand.
In my mid twenties, like a dream,
one foot in front of the other,
I went about exploring.

I sniffed and tasted the scents of foreign lands,
Incense, Sage and Frankincense, fish curry,
fried snake and even monkey brains.
Walked in lush Jungle Bush and Desert sands,
Along the shores of Islands and the coasts
of many lands.

Heard the voices of 30 divergent Dialects
and cultures, smiling and laughing with
the families and children of all of them.
Set beside the fires of primitive tribal men,
heard their chants to their gods above, the
moon, stars and the sun, the ocean, the land.
Clapped my hands and moved my feet in
their ancient mystic dances.
Drank their tea, Kava or whatever they shared
grateful for their offered unselfish brotherhood.

Stood on the flanks of the tallest Mountains
in the world, on my toe tips, to try to see the
face of the God of my youthful teachings,
disappointed when I did not see him, or Her.
Found instead an inner tranquility, imparted
to me by Red robbed Monks from within their
chants of Peace and wise earthly enlightenments.

Strolled the cobbled streets of two thousand year
old Cities. Walked among the ruined remnants of
nearly forgotten once great Civilizations.

Explored Modern European Citadels' of wealth and learning.
Over time rode on planes, ships, buses, backs of open trucks,
Horse pulled carts and human drawn rickshaws, taxis, subways,
rented motorcycles and cars.  Walked perhaps 1000 miles.
In all a journey of the mind and heart lasting three years.

And why you might ask, "What qualifies you as a pilgrim
of any kind, to travel so far, and wide?"
"What was I looking for, what did I hope to find?"  
All indeed, fare questions.

When a boy, I read a simple five word line,
“Seek and thee shall find". Curiosity and
Horizon Lust compelled me.
 
The next obvious question you might
ask is, after all that; “What did you find?”
That answer is very simple,
I found myself.

When you catch him looking at you, everything he could ever want is right there;
Trust, loyalty, happiness, pleasure.
He feels everything he could ever want but when he catches you, looking at him, you see everything. Every flaw, every disaster they've ever created. Everything they've destroyed and ruined and flipped upside down. There is a difference between love and lust.
He loved me, I only lust him.

she's my morning coffee and my afternoon glass of iced tea

i don't even know it
cause I try not to show it
but you dealing with lover slash poet
start speaking in tongues and you wont even know it
then your body start reacting, to what I am saying like i own it
your actions speaking louder than words your body show it
I got what you need
cause I'm the main component
you thirsty, then lets feed
our lust is potnent

Her passion burns bright
her fire catches me
igniting my soul
aroused by lust violently
her flames engulfing me
consuming my mind
body held in captivity
submitting mentally
enchanted by her majesty