I spend.
I drink.
I rationalize.
I think.
No filter.
I speak.
Hypocrite.
I leak.
Overdrive.
Can’t stop.
Socialize.
I shop.
   Mentality.
No breaks.
Try to heal.
I ache.
Pray.
For sanity.
Vanish.
Vanity.
Love.
Conditions.
        Strive.
Submission.
All is fine.
Squander.
Why?
I wonder.
Stand up.
I pledge.
        Not worth the fight.
Allege.
        Drained.
Mentally.
Stained.
Fundamentally.
Saved.
Eternal.
Grateful.
External.
Unchanging.
All praise.
Loved.
Unfazed.

So this is what growth feels like.

Knowing that you are your own castle.
Staying strong to withstand
the test of time,
letting some towers fall
for new ones to rise.

The past months have been
an this endless cycle
of vain destruction and creation
forcing upon myself to bring ruin to my
imperfect castle,
rushing to build anew,
a more refined and elegant masterpiece,
without even getting a chance to enjoy
that once in a lifetime view.