Everything happens for a reason
But sometimes the reason is:

You needed to learn something new

Or

You needed to be reminded of something

And the only way was by getting ripped up into tiny little pieces and wondering if, perhaps, the local crafts store has enough super glue to be able to hold all of your shattered hopes and dreams in place.

I think one day you'll understand
Why I kept my words in
Why I locked up my heart
And threw the key into the ocean
That surrounded me at the time
I couldn't bear to let you drown
In the endless chaos that was mine

I looked at the love poem and felt a wave of guilt because it wasn't for me, just the person he thought I was.

He is longing for someone that doesn't exist.

I don't have the heart to tell him, but I know that until I do, he will keep dreaming about a version of me that is a far cry from my actual self.

I'm so sorry.

The girl he loves can never return his love for her because..I made her up.

He fell in love with the mask I wore just to please him, I pretended to like all the same songs and to keep quiet when all I wanted to do was speak and I spoke when all I wanted to do was stay silent and he fell in love with everything I'm not.

How am I supposed to explain that I broke his heart trying not to break it?

And I am begging you, whatever you do

DON'T. LOOK.





You looked, didn't you?

You don't really want to be with someone like me, though

And it's true

My heart has been broken too many times

By too many things and too many people

I would try my best to be there for you, but sometimes, I wouldn't be

Sometimes, I'm not even there for myself

There are days when I am filled with dark grey clouds

And others when all I speak is rainbows

You would probably suffer on both kinds of days

Knowing, on the somber ones, that my own thoughts were suffocating me

And then, on the good ones

Knowing that the weather might soon change

Oh, but I'm not even a daisy.

I'm just a blade of grass.

The sound of the music box
Isn't nearly enough
To drown out
The sound
Of my still breaking heart

I love it to the point I hate it. I hate how it's making me feel things that I've buried and reminding me of myself. I hate how my mouth is curving at the same time my eyes water and my mind takes a trip across the span of my lifetime and reintroduces itself to every person it ever knew.

I hate how it reminds me of you.

I'm not feeling very poetic
I look at my work, and I loathe it
It's missing something
It always is

It's nothing
Absolutely
Nothing
Like the sound of the rain falling
Like the shriek of a train passing by
Like the wind brushing against your cheek
Like the silent footsteps of a cautious child
Like the last moment I looked away

Sadness and fear rise up inside my soul

We're apart and I no longer feel whole

Perhaps the heart can never be controlled

But I'd give anything to be the one

That's by your side when the day is done

I held my breath as

If I already knew that

Your soul has great depths

Time
A mysterious thing
It eludes everyone
Intangible
We chase and chase time
Only to get further
And further away

You don't even know who I am
Or if you do, you don't want to
You don't care
Why do I care?
I don't know
I don't want to
I shouldn't care
I should toss all this care aside
In the garbage
Like I did
All those years ago
Just, one moment
Of
Feeling nothingness
I know how to do that
But I don't want to
Not this time
I wish
That you wouldn't haunt me
Or maybe I'm just haunting myself
Next time
I might just tell you
My name.