I am going in for another round or two
Come February I will be
romancing giant textbooks
I am going to have my ***** deep in academia again
There's a new postgraduate student in town!

In a way this is part of my master plan to defer the reality of being ****** into the hideous job market
My relentless fruitless search for employment has left me disheartened and somewhat regretful
Though at the very end of the day I am proud of my accomplishment
I did it for me
What isn't immediately forthcoming is no reason for me to forget why I embarked on this quest for education
And why I held on
It is something no one can take away from me
The satisfaction of feeding your brain with knowledge is some kind of high
This is of course debatable

Perhaps I hide behind these books
As if  they offer me fortification
Not letting anyone in
An ice queen of note
but you can't cuddle 2 degrees
And you cannot share a meal with either

For things to fall into place I am going to be needing a rather potent  antidote for my general lameness.

The fatal revolting emotion called feelings
That insert and lodge themselves into your unsuspecting heart  
Which if left to fester will turn acidic and devour you from the inside out
Bury thoughts of an unreciprocated or lost love lest they bury you.

I am trapped in the shackle of your thoughts
I reign terror over your mind, saturate it with the sound of my whiney  voice
On the faces of strangers in the streets you cast your glare
It is my face you see

Every breath you take triggers thoughts of me
Even the sight of shadows have me consuming your entire being
My laughter echoes ceaselessly in the halls of your tiny abode

Visions of me in a pale pink robe appear in your bedroom
Pulsating is your heart at the sight of the vibrant luminosity I exude
As we dance to the music in our hearts
With the moonlight cheering us on
We will reminiscence and ache and ache and ache
Nostalgia will overpower us as it always does

When the hour arrives
I will fade into the light of dawn
And you my darling will be left embracing nothingness.

Inevitable descent into the sphere of hopelessness
Something catch me, please

These bones of mine will disintegrate
The empty will be triumphant with it's ever consuming dominance

I reach for what keeps me afloat
What never fails
What sustains me.

I tried to jot down a poem, no actually I tried to force out one
All I got was a splatter of lame ****  lines in the memo bit of my ****** Samsung which has definitely seen better days

Imagine if one were to try to **** a cactus or something resembling one
That's what forcing out
any piece of writing feels like
of course I would not accurately know as I have never **** a cactus before (has anyone ever)

Anyway, I cracked my skull
Trying to get my emotions to that zone where it flows naturally
A good poem is one that stems from the heart

I'm probably talking nonsense right now it's 2:20am, I have red wine running through my veins
I am at this very moment questioning the notion of the existence of a correlation between writing and alcohol consumption
If there is indeed a correlation then in this state of intoxication I should have penned a poem oozing with sheer and utter brilliance, surely

2:40am and I am done rambling.