I didn't let them in
I knew they wouldn't understand
they said they could
but I can't do it to them
I can't let the burden of myself onto them
everyone's cruel words
climbed up my legs,
swam past my spine,
and planted themselves on my shoulders
where they stay.
everything hateful goes there
I don't know how to help anyone
even though i'm the one who really needs it
I called for help
but by the time people listened

**it was too late

on the moon
seeing the stars
watching the other planets
floating by
they look so happy
why can't I be
but
i don't know them.
i've never been on their surface
or their core
I don't know what's happening
with them
with their moons
with people I could have known when I was younger
but just don't remember.
in another lifetime,
i could have been them,
and they could have been me
but deep down,
I will never know who they are
unless I find the courage to try,
but something is holding me back
something deep inside of me
something called

anxiety
depression
and the fact that I know
that they wont like me.

Nothing is wrong
Everything is right
I will be fine
Leave me alone
Just stop trying
I can't be helped
no one will listen

**not even you

gay
or
girl

both
or
neither

one
or
the other

in between
or
some other form