I wanna get
High,
And,
Ramble about Gods
'N
Quantum physics.

Qubits
And
Kali.

I wanna bike on those
Southwest side
Wide streets,
And scream whatever
Song I'm listening to,
To the magpies
And the passing rich
White people.

I wanna hallucinate an
Entirely new
World,
And notice the trees,
Breathing to the rhythm
Of the pulsations in
My eyes.

I want prophecy and
Vision.

I want
Synethesia.

I want undulating
Sidewalks
A low creeping fear
And the world incongruantly
Flying towards
My face.

I wanna lose my mind
On drugs.

Here,
In my
Personal
Synaptic system
Asymmetrically firing
In no direction in particular.

Proverbs 8:7
“For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.”

I have made myself
Abominable.

And,
Curses do spout
Out my gibbering maw.

I am
Blasphemy.

I am
Hallucinated terror.

I am I.

And,
That's all
I can be.

I am
Caked in the ash,
Of a sacrificial animal.

Rubbed raw on
The rocks
In a fallow
Forgotten
Graveyard.

I am blood,
And,
Sinew,
And,
Sweat,
And,
Dis-ease.

Awful offal
Casting hate
From a dehydrated
Mind.

And they are
My auspices
And my penance.

I was once a beautiful
Possibility.

Now I am a
Suffering
Certainty.

We're all
Disposable
And,
Mostly interchangeable.

So,
Why get
Attached
To temporary fair
Weather friends.

Or some delusional
Obsession
With one person,
For a ****,
And a listening
Ear.

I don't.

Enjoy
Life.

I endure it.
Like a penance.

Nothing good will
Come of it,
Because I won't
Let it.

Redemption is meaningless,
Salvation, a pipe dream,
I endure to spite
Everyone,
Who tells me
To smile,
You'd be handsome.

What does it matter
If honey attracts more flies.

I want hornets,
Drowning,
In gasoline.