i sit in the lush grass and stare up at this beautiful monstrosity
i think about how old it might be and how it feels in its old age
lightly leaning my palm against the tough bark  scratching my hand
my eyes search the tree, studying how the gnarled arms are seemly bent wrong
how it looks like it’s had to rebuild itself, the way the trunk swivels, almost like it’s had to rebuild itself and came out wrong
i lean my forehead near the giant hole in the middle staring into the dark abyss
and i sorrowfully apologize
because i too know what it feels like
all the hurt and betrayal turning into angry brokenness and a hole where the heart belongs
silent tears track down my face and i softly whisper
you are not alone

don’t bother coming to my funeral
when you were the one to **** me

summer rotted under my tongue
dissolved into autumn
I am ready READY!!
Ready for the decay
the rot
Leaves bleed and fall to their ends
barren trees, cold
still silence
The decomposition of Anna
Thank you , fall
Falling into winter
I will not freeze alone
when you freeze to death you feel warm at the very end

before I die,
i wish to take a breath again

No matter what I do
The loneliness comes in
She peeks through the window
And lifts up my chin.

No matter what I do
The loneliness is there
She looks at me sadly
And doesn’t seem to care

No matter what I do
The loneliness gets more
She wraps her arms around me
While I lay motionless on the floor