the warmth from loneliness never felt so cold and cleansing
the warmth from two hearts colliding never felt so caressing
smiles stretch wider than the sky and i can’t help but swallow up the ones i hold dear
past, present and future all in my windshield and at the tips of my hair caressing the air i breathe
it’s always been preconceived
the pain the consciousness and the way we bleed
i’m a nomad in the desert feeling like an ostrich feather
freedom just isn’t as potent as it once was
and my dreams are a little more out of reach
but i’m still the wanderer whose ideas are clean
all the eyes that radiated love, i never forgot
because you showed me some kindness in places i forgot
the adventures that shook the time and the tunnels that gave us vision
i handled the concise misunderstanding that led to my downfall
it led me to a waterfall up north where the weather isn’t warm
saturation was gone but i still felt like i was home
i’m going home
i haven’t been there in a while and i’m sorry
please don’t worry about the nights i’ll never show
i’m co-existing with the night
he’s showing me the beauty that comes with walking alone
i made a home inside my bones
the address is tucked into the underlying of my sternum
i don’t apologize for the pictures i’ve burned and the bridges that ignited along with them
i live my best life when i’m desperate for a solution
we’re all just warriors of the unknown
traveling in a stream of nothingness trying to find out the art of everything that’s unknown
there is no home for the outgrown

bath water dribbles up me
i lay smothered in the tub until my head is clearer than the water
it died a long time ago
i just never wanted to accept it
the transparency is covering my feet
i can see through it all
and although i should be sad
i can’t overlook the key components which made my life worth it
i met some great people over the years
i faced my fears and wiped the tears i wept
i overslept and got some rest when it was necessary
i heard my favorite songs til the break of dawn in the back of a bar porch
i met strangers and listened to them tell me how lovely i was
i listened indeed and i always keep it with me
it died a long time ago about 6 months in when i found out i wasn’t the only one getting attention
i just didn’t wanna accept it
thank you for that
in my mind my bags were packed i guess that’s why it was so easy to find the places where you lacked
it was easy for me to want to give up
because i knew it was already dead
love killed you
from the inside out
and each potential victim with bright eyes can’t help but hunger for the emptiness you cradle so deeply inside
hidden amongst the facade of creation
loved turned into a void for you
a void you had to fill with thrills and pills and feels
i’m trying to understand your pain
i’m standing in the rain
with my hands out forever grateful of this simulation
i bathed in pain tonight but i still remain heartfelt and empathetic and i wish to not project it onto others
and see that is why i can’t understand you

sweet words i don’t eat them up like i used to
i hunger for something more like the fire in your eyes
tell me what makes you feel alive and i’ll tell you all my secrets
text me in the morning and text me goodnight
everything feels like a dream against the daylight
i sometimes mistake today with history
and these days i crave mystery instead of predictability
take me further
drag me further into the unknown
i promise i’m equipped
to survive
i’ve already died a thousand times
it helps me shine when i come back to life
you can’t **** me