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 May 2015 Nithya Venkat
Just Melz
My life is crumbling
I dont know what to do
Sanity is disappearing
Why is this what I go through?

How do I find a way to breathe?
What do I do to survive?
His hate for me, I just can't believe
I'm losing my drive to succed

They say I'm so resilient
They tell me I'm so strong
I'm telling you I've lost my brilliance
Everybody just seems to be wrong
If I could post screen shots of my conversation with my kids father you all would be astounded at his cruelty.  I truly can't believe what he's doing to me.
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I'm desperate and really need help...
should i trust you with
my naked soul
can i take of
my mask
so you can see my real face
will you treat me the same
as you do right now
or will you leave me
because it hurts to look


without the cover up
without the fake
where my eyes turn from stars to lake
are you brave enough to look
or will you turn away disgusted and pitiful
because the sight has been shook
the girl you know
not who you think
I should have hugged you a little tighter
I should have smiled a little brighter
I should have told you not to go
For that was the last time
I didn't know


I should have told you all blandishing words
I should have shown you what you're worth
Because all that ****** in my heart as swords
Guilt I have as many things remained unspoken
When you were within stone's throw
For that was the last time
I didn't know


I should have kissed you on your chicks
I should have stopped you  
But I didn't did
What future holds I had no clue
I should have shown all the feelings I have for you
For that was the last time
I didn't know



But now blood is all I can see in ground
Wrenched, snagged parts all around
Identify the body as they said
I was astounded
How I wish, I should have been in your place
Then only my heart would rest in peace
To all the love I failed to show
For that was the last time
I didn't know
With mysterious beauty
she looks upon me

With glittering ambiguity
she smiles at me

With  passionate force
our hearts collide

Mine shatters
leaving a gouge open wide
Written from a young mans perspective
The smashed ribs, the swollen legs
The state of heart every time the ground shakes
The endless tears, the unflattering fears
The subdued feelings, the impotent states
and I realize how helpless I am
As everything vanished within seconds

The cracked hopes, the buried dreams
The unbearable truths, the painful screams
The broken fantasies, the shattered desires
The situation where no one admires
Tried to stop, I tired to evade
Then I realize how helpless I am
as everything vanished within seconds
My world is not of the written word
It cannot be numbered
held captive on a so called page

My world is liquid
as sea , rain , snow or ice
It can be hot , cold , or entice

My world is cloudy
It thunders after it flashes light
My world is wrong , my world is right

There are no words that bind my life
I won't be delegated
to exist in the black on white

I will not be staved
by the limited sways
of the written words upon the page
She has eyes like a wolf, beautiful, easy to get lost in
A gentle touch, soothing to the soul
Always a kind word for others
All the neighbors love her
A more gentle woman God never created
She's that one thing that no one can put their finger on but
They all know she's the glue that binds everything together
When social functions are attended, she's out front because
Nobody does PR quite like her
She's the one with a seemingly infinite supply of optimism
The kind of person you hate when you're having a bad day
The image that forms in your head upon meeting her
Is a very serene one
"No doubt in the perfect marriage" you say to yourself
But he's
Massive rage, deceptively charming
She met her prince but
Unwittingly gave her heart to a monster
She prepares meals, does laundry
Makes sure appointments are kept, deadlines are met
And she eats it up when he's attentive
And she gets so confused
By the way that he can be so loving one minute
And then explode like a hell bent hurricane
And she searches time and again for the answer thinking ...
"Maybe I did this wrong" or "Maybe this made him mad"
"I'll just do this differently next time"  Or
"He's got a lot on his mind"
You cannot crucify him in her presence
She will not hear of it, she see's what no one else sees
She clings to a hope that others have long since abandoned
Easy to write a few lines about
Hell to live the life of
Beauty and The Beast
CK1
You're beautiful just like the morning
You're time I've spent in heavens hands
You slipped away without a warning
Seems we never had a chance
Still I know we .. will find each other
Somewhere in time
While we're apart
Can't stand the thought of you not knowing
That you're forever in my heart
Take me away
To where you are now
And take me back to that borrowed time
When we were right there
Beside each other
Before we'd drawn these battle lines
Winters wind has begun blowing
A chill is hanging in the air
And I need your love to tell me
That there's still somebody waiting there
It's just not the same
The years without you
I know I'm to blame
For our broken past
Just meet me here
Inside forever
In the end love is all we have
Still I know ..we'll find each other
Somewhere in Time
While we're apart
Can't stand the thought of you not knowing
That you're forever in my heart
Take me away
To where you are now
And take me back to that borrowed time
When we're right there
For each other
Before we'd drawn these battle lines
Just a note for my daughter, we haven't spoken in years
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