A tear fell on a page of random thoughts whispering to me
Fascinating songs in harmony made me their slave
I took the best of all that my eyes could see
Then watched the sunset burn
What I could not save

I plucked a crimson rose and changed its shade to blue
To flood my soul with words deeply sweet
Oh, how my heart leaped at each queue
Telling me, I had accomplished
My feat

I reached for  those stars shining brilliantly up above
Turning away from every smile, I met
Watched the weeds take over my garden of love
As tending to each flower
I did forget

Little pools now form on every page of random thoughts
Each line has slowly faded from my view
Those brilliant stars that I sought
Almost made me forget
My love for you

I now listen to the harmony of the songs that softly play
While holding to the best, which is thee
I smile back at every single face, met along my way
Swiftly removing every ****
From my garden
I can see

You swallowed everything rotten when you

swallowed me.

All the indigestion, disgust and anguished reverie.

I keep it tightly locked within...you dared the worst.

You swallowed time and tears and added years;

sorry for what you've done?

You assaulted my infinite oblivion....

my darling solitude and sick...

and yet you thought you'd won.

You lost, my dear, more than you can know.

You can't contain the old re-runs.

So, spit me out into the sea,

a better person you will be.

Let me dwell in my hollow hell with

my demons under lock and key.



Some things should be left alone forever.

I'm not perfect, i'v made my mistakes.
I regret my past and fear the future.

The world is cursed, and it cries with the pain of loss and rejection.

Betrayal
Lies
Adultery
Love

Pawns in a game played by the heart.

Truth
Loyalty
Passion
Hope

Allusions conjured by the clouded and misguided.

Depraved souls
Dammed from birth

Humanity is dieing
Crumbling away

Loosing the battle
To an enemy seen only by reflection

i'm losing to the raging inside me
it's crawling up my abdomen
creeping up my chest
clouding my head
and seeping out through my pores
causing steam to rise from my skin
goosebumps chase behind as i imagine
your fingertips grazing my arm, my neck

I wandered in a vast desert
  of misinformation
Looking for answers
Looking for help
  To resolve my hurts,
                my addiction.

I looked to the tree
              but
There was no help for me.
I looked to the rocks
               but
It smelled like homeless socks

From the smartest man
     of all the world
     came no relief from the pain,
That permeated my inner most being
     all seemed Lost,
     there was no gain.

Nothing satisfied
      nothing filled the hole,
      in my soul.
There was always doubt
      always fear.
      What did the future hold?
There was nothing to hold dear.

The Higher Powers I found
Were causing me to drown.

When hope had faded
       All seemed jaded
To a point of deep despair
God, if you are there
   touch my despair.
    Make me aware.
--

I looked to the Cross
of long ago, still stands
high on the hill,
In the minds and hearts
of the people who do
His, not their own will.

I saw what my soul
      was yearning for
I saw Love freely given
      as never before,
In the drops of loss
      at the foot of the Cross.

There, the chains I had on
that dragged  me down,
fell off. The load was gone.
I was free to soar
in new found love
as never before.

Glorious freedom
      as never before.
In His Love
      I soar.
         Forevermore.