Stand to ever hope again is what she said to me
And this was foreign simply because hope was such a distant memory
All feelings in this world that had greeted and left my heart
Had forced me to rip hope out of me and from it forever part

Stand to ever hope again is what she said to me
But I was not sure what to do, a man on bended knee
Beaten and bruised by the vandal known simply as myself
People paying me no kindness as I found I pitifully knelt

Stand to ever hope again is what she said to me
As my knees shook and waivered and my body and mouth screamed
For these things called legs had let me down time and time again
Always buckling and leading to the place where I'd begin

Stand to ever hope again is what she said to me
When my legs failed to do the task I wished them so earnestly
But oh, I find that she did lie when announcing hope's demands
For hope is present when we try, whether we fall or stand

We burned with passion for days on end
And just as we showed signs to transcend
The embers fell too quickly on our sun
And for too long it did erase
The way your lips, your kiss did taste
And I found that the two had become one
And you were gone and I alone
And my voice called in bitter tones
That belong to star-crossed lovers running out of air
Until I was silenced for a while
No written word, no creeping smile
No showing of a single wish or care
Then there you came out of the black
With shreds of hope the sun would come back
But I was never there to affirm them for you
And so we stood where love once did
A whisper of what should have been
Two star-crossed lovers, which love somehow did illude

A spaceman among all the stars, a long way from a blue sky
With lullabies inside recordings that are from long ago
Seeing reds of gas clouds through the window as they pass me by
The hum of the engines as they pass by many a moon's glow

And my eyes have seen all the wonders over and under multiple suns
As I travel each corner faster than the wink of an eye
Watching a dazzling ballet perform every day for a crowd of one
Shedding firework tears and sending me off with untold goodbyes

Fret not, I've yet to forget the grassy knoll that I once knew
In the days before the rocket's roar in the days long past
Within dreams I do dwell in the metal shell past the skies of blue
And the view of that blue marble someday just might be my last

Hello
I've started with goodbye too many times
So a hello would seem strange
I know
The world is a glass full of heavy sighs
Full of the genius minds belonging to the deranged
I grow
Nervous simply because I never know
Just the way to go after the hello
I'm told
A million paths carry you to the same place
A million butterflies flutter the same way

Good day
'cause bad day sounds like a premonition
Constant remeniscions of a yesterday known
We fade
Brittle bone and muscle they, melt away
And yet through your tears you say
A simple hello
I wait
For the end, unsure if it will come soon
Under a harvest moon or blistering sun
But you
You never were one for goodbyes
Only see you laters


Goodbye
I've seemed to of fallen into the rut again
Where my optimism ends, I find a goodbye
I tried
To look on the brighter side of days
A whipoorwillow's wish away from a hello
You cried
Every time the word escaped my mouth
Yet you never seemed to doubt I'd be wrong
Hello
I will never see your eyes like this
The moment's the passed, the kiss is done, we move on

So you say you’ve fallen out of love?
Can I follow you?
So long you’ve been all I can think of
It’s so hard not to do
Tell me if your lips of cherry red
Are stained from biting at my heart
You do so well in the pull away
Masterful in the art to part

So you say you’ve fallen out of love?
Can you show me how?
Often I find hope rising in my mind
And tears falling down
Do you see the agony in it?
Are you so selfish you won’t teach?
Love has been an ever present goal
And you’ve pulled it out of reach

So you say you’ve forgotten how to love?
Preach to me your unknown pains
I am a disciple, faithful, but shunned
Whose given much with little gain
Fragment of your heart under lock and key
Mine openly offered in my hands
Tell how you cauterized such pains
Help me understand

So here I am alone and still on love
Top of the peak
Feelings I have yet to make sense of
No words left to speak
And in the silence I then understand
That look echoed in your soul
How you fell so quickly out of love with me
Because of a love you can’t let go

What of these chains within this thing called love?
Will we ever be free?
Someday will some foolish heart come to break
And ask the same of me?
Is there such thing as truly falling out of love?
Or are you hanging there?
Forever holding out for who you’re thinking of
And running out of air

Rain will fall as clouds do form
Onward, forward, as they swarm
And create times we're nestled in
Each others arms, safe from harm

Songbirds, forward, not to be found
As rain falls onto the ground
Drying wings, the pretty things
As storm clouds drop rain
Tumbling, tumbling

Rumbling on comes thunder
As it follows, chasing lightning bolts
Shaking foundations strong, but not for long
Safe from worry, safe from harm

Dripping, dropping rain does give applause
To kisses fireside, as we stay safe
Like birds that stay in nests away from rain
Not fearing, as they're hearing thunder
Wonder, under forest trees

And here we'll be and there they are
Until the clouds leave their scene
And leave raindrops to reveal nighttime stars
And birds and we will sing again amongst the puddles
Until the rain does come again

Until the rain does come again...

Each step I took was watched silently
Hands quivering, legs shaking violently
As quietly they stared at me
A newborn lamb amidst wolves

And I looked up with tear strewn face
Too far from help, parted from grace
A thousand eyes stare, ****, and poke
Alone but not alone

Singing lyrics she forgot that she forgot
Staring at a ceiling as if answers were written there
Working hard for something that just can’t be bought
Wondering in the midst of sunshine if it will rain again

Gazing into her eyes makes me a cosmonauts
A black void of mystery littered with stars of hope
She whispers something sweet and then abruptly stops
Sunny showers while indoors on a weekend

I remember passing a giant hole in the sky
And the sunshine pouring on me like molten rain
It burned me 'till it reached my heart
And there in began to quench it, so parched
Until I was sure I'd never thirst again

And as the golds and reds overcame me
Technicolor tears passed down these cheeks
As I looked upon the unrelenting sun
Its fountains pouring down and beating like a drum
Leaving my mouth closed and unable to speak

And those technicolor tears turned to glass in my hands
The heavens contained and compressed in the heat
And I stood there with the pearls called the sky
A gift from the sun and its constant shine
As it dripped from my hair down to my feet

If the sun would shine on me for just a little more
I could finish these few lines and know who I write for
Darkness is coming soon and I find my time is fleeting
A pen and paper in setting sunlight with lines that need completing

My lungs are tired and my throat hoarse from screaming past the distance
Arms so sore from wrestling with my heart and its resistance
Persistently finding myself with no wisp of what to do
Trying to find the proper lines that lead me up to you

Sun stand still, keep your place in this purple, dimming sky
Let me finish the words to my beloved in one last try
All my trying has come to naught, in purple, black, or blue
Dearest lover, pray the sun stands so I might search for you

To and fro as the saying goes
As the afros chase rainbows in search of gold
And the money's ****** dry, 'till the rich only supply
Ways to the make the poor poorer & keep the crackheads high
Then we overdose on sighs that all come at once
The teachers so underpaid that we're soon led by the dunce
And the market's like the breakers of the sea, it just crashes
The 99 sinking in ships while the one percent dashes
We find the dream of the US tainted green
Or to put it correctly, it has been tainted greed
With the day to day in ways that leads to the end
With a knife in your back while they pat it like your friend
So reliance on defiance is the key so defy
All the brainwash and the violence, raise you hands to the sky
And live

How
    You
  Fail
Me
So

With words of shattered diamonds
So precious
But are as sand to deserts

    How
They
         Pierce
   My
Sole

Causing me to slow my pace
To stop
A race I am now sure to lose

          I’m
In
    Your
            Control

A simple play thing of no consequence
A grain of sand
Amidst a desert of a trillion billion lies

Some
Day
    I’ll
       Let
           Go

Someday I’ll find me in all of this
I’ve been filled
With ignorance

Diamonds mean little to a heart dying
Of thirst

I fear that you caught me at the worst of times
With a heart resembling broken glass in this chest of mine
And I’d pay all I have  if you’d see the best in me
But I wouldn’t be surprised if you chose to leave

If you’re searching for sunshine, you may fine only clouds
The lightning cracking at distance so it’s not too loud
But I’d give the world to be just something in your eyes
Though it’s present in my mind that you may say goodbye

Rising to the occasion was never my strong point
Though there’s ever fervent effort, proved by creaking joints
If it would make you stay, I’d lay the mountains flat
But it’s more likely you will go and never come back

Prayers may be silent, but they spit out fervently
And I will put it all on the table if you stay with me
There’s one more “one more chance” I don’t deserve from you
Coupled with love that won’t run out, even if we want it to

Girl
No, better than girl
Better than playground crushes
Summertime blushes
Fleeting rushes
And cheeks, those flushes
Not girl
But woman
Etched in notebooks
Eyes that look
Through soul
Grace visions
Pinpoint precision
Woman
In technicolor
Live
Electric, but wireless
In 4320p
High dynamic range
And legs for days
I see you
Cinematic
And wild in you ways
Like watching for the
First time a nature
Documentary
And knowing the lion is king
But the lioness, the hunter
Not cub I seek
But grown
Wonderful
Dangerous
Vivacious
Passionate

Woman
In technicolor
A world not her own
But give it time
As she toils
And breaks
And creates
And tries
And amazes
And blazes
And screams
And relaxes
And I stand in wonder
Under the weight
The awe
Of her
Woman
In technicolor
In worlds lost to the black and white
Of conformity
And distortion
The contortion of which
Make her seem small
But she not
At
All
She is technicolor
Made for IMAX screens
And this boy
Hoping to prove to be
Man’s
Dreams

Little hand
How you grasp on so tightly
To my fingers

Little feet
Kicking in the air
As if pushing back the ages

Open eyes
With you deepest green
Swallowing the world

Oh how wondrous you are...

Do you fear the towers of waves that lie ahead of you
The threat of the unending black that lies beyond the blue
The roaring of a thousand voices that never made a sound
Do the giants that wait for you make your knees buckle to the ground

Do you fear the powers that crave for your immortal soul
The truths that lie within the depths of a half never made whole
The horrors of a world untamed beyond your comprehension
A tempest in unending sea with no sign of intervention

Dear
Hear
The words of a soul 3000 miles away
Dear
Here
Clear as day the words I say, that they might catch the wind
Darling
Wond’ring
Do we look upon the same sky, at the same stars
Darling
Wond’ring
Where do your thoughts take you, do they wander far
Sweetheart
Part
Not from these straining, stretching words
Sweetheart
Part
Of my unending pledge is the promise of you in my arms again

My brain is a middle school notebook
Every day I write your name inside
With random sketches the cover holds in
For emotions I can’t easily hide

My heart is a jelly pen
A schoolyard craze, of that there’s no doubt
It pins my last name to you in my middle school notebook
And as costly as it is, I pray it won’t run out

I am tired of the tears when I should be over you
Dealing with the things you said and tasks you didn't do
And you owe me for the millions of tears you made me cry
But you in all your heartlessness will keep me where I lie

I am sick of the touch that whispered sweeter lies to me
Bu I can't say it's all your fault since I chose to fall so eagerly
I would say some wise thing of love and loss but this, dear, was not love at all
And oh how I despise myself for wanting to answer when you call

I am weary of the faults which you showed my naked eyes
The worthlessness you showed to someone who once shared your bluest skies
Do you fail to see the venom in the lips with which you kiss my skin
The deceit needed for you to find your temporary win

I will dread any love that comes to me this day forth
Wondering and questioning the heavens of my worth
Wretching instead of reaching for the silver lining of the clouds
Knowing the loser's price when they sets their wages down

Now I know the warnings, the hints, the cautions my mind gave
The reluctance in my mind that inevitably would have saved
The mirror that I chose not to look in simply out of stubbornness
And all the issues that we both had which I chose not to address

And I am tired of the tears when I should be over you
The love that will come once again every time you're passing through
The aching for the nicotine-like feeling that only you can quench
And the tissues scattered on the floor with which my tears do drench

I've painted too many pictures
And all of them, the same
I've painted your face a thousand times
Yet I've forgotten your name
And it is such a travesty
Not to mention a **** shame
For you are the only face
The only inspiration that came
And oh, the colors in your eyes are those of the dawn
Your lips as soft as the brush that paints them on and on
In your beauty, in your grace, I find, in utter shame
The treachery, the irony, of a love's forgotten name
My brush will stay clasped in this hand, my strokes remaining true
Until the memories come back, my paint will remember you
I'll be penniless with all the paint and canvas I'll have bought
All because of a beautiful face whose name that I forgot

I bleed such colors in excess and run them, focused, through
Until you face such wonders I've painted in front of you
Burning words entangle and burn indentations in your mind
Finding things you once never knew you could find

Don't mind the parts of me fading into the background, for I am best left unseen
For you might find you're disappointed if you view all of me
The mountain's tip shows only that the valley is so very far down
And it would hurt if my bungee was cut and I went spiraling to the ground

So don't mind the parts you cannot see and see the picture painted
You already met this supposed thing called me, no need to be reacquainted
As is the way things go when the shallow waters are trodden here
The rest of me faded from your eyes, but always somewhat near

See the smile that I've plastered on my face only for you
Hear the laugh I give and believe it, this fantasy you're not meant to undo
I know you and your complexion pales each time you see a flaw
And know you as I do the rest, you'll be quite quick to withdraw

I will walk as if I'm floating on air, I will sing clearly as the day
Not letting you know the load which I carry, the storm clouds that won't go away
So look not into the backdrop and see only half of what is put in your hands
For I will not be deserted by you, even though me you'll never understand

Foreign are the footprints on a road long ago tread
A memory of what once was, an ode to those now dead
Buried under the leaves laid down by surrounding maple trees
A blanket that has nary piece disturbed

These multicolored maples have seen and whispered so
Of many a wearer traveler who chose this quiet road
But long ago was this and time has laid the cards
With feet and body laid to rest, never to walk

And so the silence takes the land in an eternal embrace
As raining leaves float softly on, failing to leave a trace
None to stand to revel in the beautiful tapestry
The footprints buried with those who molded them

I look upon these stained-glass windows
Hearing the words that've been echoing inside my head
As I walk down the aisle

Curtains flow down in a lovely indigo
Hearing the sounds of this church as if raised from the dead
As I walk and I smile

Barren sanctuary with cathedral ceilings
Fermenting in the silence of empty wooden seats
As I dwell in it all

Stone upon wood warms me with a feeling
I can hear the tile as it meets affectionately with my feet
As they rise and they fall

Call me again, Father, to the alter
Let me not stray as I whisper the Lord my plea
As I fall in the midst

Let me be as the Rock of Gibraltar
Under this roof, let me stand firm on my knees
A lighthouse in the mist

What things might come from the beating drums
Of feet stomping the dust
As cymbals chime with swords that fly
And clash like rain to pavement

What things might jump from the trump
Of a million voices shouting against one another
As the juice of life is squeezed out in strife
And blood covers the hand of many

What good will flow from ashen snow
As fire consumes and engulfs
And man sees not the face of the human race
But segregates himself from his brother

I'm not interested
Is that so hard to say?
I'm not interested in you
Those words come out like butter and yet the thing you try and do

Is hold onto to me for later
Put me to the side
There I sit hoping and praying
I'll be the apple of your eye

But you're not interested in me
You know it
You're not interested in me
Let me go so at least if I cry my eyes will finaly see

Are you so selfish to keep me around?
To trod on me and smile
Each time I am your turning point
When you cry tears of crocodiles

Just let me go!
Please!
Just let me go right now!
Tell me to my face that you dislike me! How?

With sincerity!
With bluntness!
With no sugar-coated words!
You've led me on for far too long to the point where it's absurd

Your killing me
You really are
My hopes and dreams compacted
Into the scene you've set for me and constantly reenacted

**** you!
You vile creature!
You deserve not a tear from my eye!
But here I stand with my heart in your hand and knife you put in my side

Oh dear coward
Just say it
Say you're not interested in me
So at least you and I can walk away with some shred of dignity

But you won't
Will you?
You'll keep me safely in a pocket
Not telling me a single thing, putting me in your secondhand locket

Just say it, please
I beg of you
Just for once say it. Please.
Tell me deep down you've always known you're not interested in me...

And could go forward, on and on on how she danced
Within the crevices of my mind to my heart
And I would dance with her if time would only give the chance
But from those days I've found I must depart

The worlds and words of long ago that echo in my veins
A cavalcade of the love that never was or will be
And yet there she dances, oh how she dances
Within my heart and mind's combined memory

May the many prayers of the ones you love
Push you towards the home you run to above
May the dawn grace your face and the memories stay
Your face remembered as the brightest of days

May tears grace the ground and flowers bloom in their place
May you always be remembered with a smile on your face
With each laugh that you brought, may they be blessings to you
As your loving Creator you finally come home to

Never fading and always learning
A dream amongst sleepers, a lesson worth learning
With wings of angels, in the sky may you roam
Till we meet again on our racing towards home

I have been here on your side before the line was drawn
Drawing my sword in the blindness that emanated before dawn
Pushing out the pretenders with your hand clasped to mine
As blood and sweat, bone and flesh met with my blade in time
I defended you, befriending you amidst your lows and lifted you high
Shared in the echoing laughter as well as the tears you've cried
Sung to a thousand ears your praises in unending song
I have walked this path with you... don't prove my efforts to be wrong...

Trembling vision and quivering knees indicate your world is shaking
A sinkhole beneath the concrete once thought of as a foundation
A tapestry of normality ripped violently to pieces
As you find yourself falling once again

A bleeding heart within my sight, a glass wall in between
As you pour your insides onto the floor and I look on helplessly
And I would offer a healing word, but the world drowns them silent
As I find you there, falling once again...

Hello good son upon my doorstep
Have you gained your old man's respect
Or rejected trivial things
Has the boy become a man?

Hello good son, are days kind
Have learned teachings eased your mind
Will you take this world one hand at a time
Or have you found no ground to stand upon

Hello good son in foreign lands
Does a lover hold your hands
Have your demands been met with silence
And tell what you'll do be heard

Hello good son, rise again
The morning sings through your windowpane
Each note singing of choices new
And you have so many roads to take

Goodbye good son, I'll see you once more
Another time when you knock on my door
To ask the questions life has yet to teach
And fall upon the words I offer you

I am not alone here, these words accompany
Always close at hand, sitting right next to me
Ringing in the silence of the room behind closed doors
Bouncing off the walls and off of the hardwood floor

Tenderly caressing what is left of my heart
Nudging my hand to the pencil, telling me to start
Wiping tears from my eyes and connecting the drops
Presenting the painter poet with a vision of art

Not today, oh not today, the sore is much too deep
The artist in me cries that the fall is much too steep
But inspiration beckons me this grim and lonely night
Inclining me, between the tears, are the words which I must write

Goodnight, Goodnight

Each and every etching is a tearing truth to me
Falling again and again into a tragedy
But on I go as pain does grow and ease at the same time
Escaping my mind and etching on my heart with every line

This is not depression, this is a cleansing thing
See how the words choose to echo love to me
A losing game, a crying shame, a message wrapped in tears
A courageous allegation surrounded by constant fear

I will be done wih my sitting with my words soon
As they float in the midnight sky up to the moon
I will never see you again inside the tears I cry
Only in the words on paper that you left behind

Goodnight, Goodnight

Plaster me on every screens
Because I’m too hard to believe
Send out my lies
To watching eyes
And capture ears publicly
Does it matter if things are what they seem?
Distortion’s the base of a dream
Twist the dial
Crank up the smile
And you’ll **** the tar betwixt my teeth
Complaints of maggots in your meat
Pull out your eyes: delicacy
Handle you delicately
Like lambs led to the slaughtering
Let your mind keep wandering
Ignore the life you’re squandering
No one has to change a thing
‘Cause heroes suffice on TV
Just keep on remembering
The past is all you’ll get from me
I come with the pleasantries
Minus results and progressing
Feed the money to the beast
Fatten the goose with cheaper yeast
And walk it to the wolves who feast

Ignore the neighbor next to you
He conflicts with all your views
You never really cared for truths
Or the future of the youths
They are bows upon feces
The gears, they grind, my hair is greased
My words, they war as I speak of peace
Black and white should never meet
The Arabs are the enemy
Ignore all of the suffering
Lift me up to **** the golden ****
Don’t look at my mortality
Ignore the child fatality
Throw out all morality
Grab only within your vicinity
The Mexican’s the villain, see?
Stare at white supremacy
While above the stage, I pull the strings
It all makes sense politically

               It all makes sense politically

It all makes sense politically


                  It all makes sense politically

We would give a day
A part of our lives
Just to see their smiling faces
And put it on a page
For a chance to write
How we feel in an embrace
And they would smile each time
We wrote a word
The sun would be our desktop light
To illuminate verbs and such simple words
That gleam in the light of the smile

We would give a week
And press pause on a whim
Just to feel that kiss on our cheek
The speech would then end
And we would bring pens
To record the things we feel
And they would swoon which each time
Our lips chose to lock
The feeling never being erased
From the page of a smile with whim of a child
With a dream that took some time

We would give a month
A leap off a clock
Just to feel the touch our skin
To know that the rose
Is not the only thing growing
And that the feeling is mutual
And with each time we touch
It would bring inspiration
That flows through blood and brain and soul
The ink vial would be full and the blood would then rush
And invoke tears inside a word

We would give a year
A slice of our being
To make sure the feeling is oh, so right
Watch the moon pass and fade
Peaking the day to day
And feel the summer and winter pass
All for a feeling
All for a smile
All for a touch and for a kiss
So the whole world can say we gave up a day
In order to write things like this

Am I worth loving?
I'd like to think so
Yet the question that seems so simple for my heart to know
Is am I worth loving?
The question does ensue
And I can't help but wonder every time words come from you
But no answer comes from heaven or Earth
Not one constellation can say
Silence is not solace in my utter disarray
And yet I am here and waiting and you are simply there
And I know you are not one who takes joy in my despair
So tell me am I worth loving?
Every complication
Every clogged pore and stuttering word
Would it pass initiation?
For I am flawed beyond comprehension
Beyond you're imagination
And compared to your track record, I'm the lesser if God's creations
Realize this and tell me That I am worth your time
My romanticism and promise only lying in my rhymes
And the questions remained unanswered for a lover that's been left
And underlying's a heart that's dying and a mind which starts to regret
That I even asked the question of whether love can ever be mine
Because I'm the Hallmark writer who receives not one single valentine
And so I look to you and ask again and again
Is this poet worth loving or does love lie only in his end

I looked for you
Amongst the pale and grey
As I saw you fading away
Melting
Into the concrete
Falling to defeat

So I bent a knee
Inaudible prayers for you
Then unlaced my walking shoes
Time
I placed into your cup
Hoping it would be enough

No plan to stop the tears
Inelegant, no grace
Shirt wet where you buried your face
Grief
I lost you in your pale and grey
But I know I’ll find you again in a smile

We’ll speak and measure
Only the amount you need
Contemplating long walks and sore feet
Rising
Don your shoes, pick you up
As you did for me miles before

Her fragile hands tailored strands of strings into ship sails
And each of her breaths moved the depths as they grew into gales
To say she moved me would understate the gravity of things
As she sent me to unknown places upon linen wings

And oh, those linen wings would sing and cling onto the air
The ocean foam so far from home reminiscent of her skin so fair
Her voice ever ringing in my head and her touch fresh on my heart
Her eyes in every starlit night making sure home I could chart

Each hour I'd remember the red ember of her hair and her lips
As fragile hands wove those strands with prayers on fingertips
In the light of home she placed pieces of her heart in the sails she made for me
In hopes her beloved would return home once more from the endless sea

So here I journey on from night to dawn, dusk to day
Memories of skin, foam white, and her eyes at night showing me the way
Wishing for the fire of home inside her hair and lips
As she sends gales into woven sail leading me home to her kiss

Let them speak
Then let them die
Let truth pour onto lips so dry
Let who be you
No wonder why
And close eyes, lifeless, no waking

No words said after
No lullaby
Post mortum tears in cloudy sky
As echoed truth
Takes creator’s life
To multiply, undertaking

Let teeth gnash
Let silent rage
Encompass those within the day
To pick up words
For which the slain
Found their souls, like eggshells, breaking

Another chapter
One of pain
New but rewritten, again and again
So that words spoken
From those long dead
Find new hosts for the taking

Is my soul within my hands instead of in my heart?
For not my heart, but my hands are what I use to take part
In both good or evil, from ending to start
And my hands that paint the greys in this piece of art

Am I good though my hands carry on in violent desperation?
Grabbing selfishly at life in strife regardless of evil's escalation
No thought of others, valor, or God's promised vindication
You look at me and see yourself in the evaluation

Can I prove I am more than stepping stones composed of good intentions?
And if so, then do actions and therefore my soul aide in good's intervention
Are these lines embedded in my palms signs of past transgressions
Or a tally of the justice I've yet to do in this fragile life's progression

There’s gotta be something wrong with me
Where I fail to begin to see
Where you left and what’s in front of me
And how to keep walking when you’re gone
Pray, God, how do I go on?
I don’t want to go on
When kiss and hands held are shelved
Right next to my self-respect
View of me and you in kissing booths
That my mind cruelly projects
As I watch in horror
At things that keep saying goodbye
And yet they stay
And get their way
In my dismay, oh Lord, I cry
How do I go on?
Silence, darkness, no reply
Silence, darkness, no reply
Silence screaming thoughts, I try
Thoughts of only cloudy skies
No reply
You have dialed an incorrect number
Please hang up and try again
So we may test the other ways
Your faith in love can bend
I’m broken
As I found out 7 minutes ago the line was cut
The killer’s in the house, dear sir
I let her in, but now it’s shut
No hope for me in misery
I’m standing here, yet gone
These constants scenes in front of me
How do I go on?

Solemnly and silent
In subtleties she calls to me
Falling into my heart caverns
And running through my veins
Through my body
And where I am she’s close to me
Exuding watercolor dreams
Like a painter reacquainting me
With once greyish reality
And every morn, I hear her sing
In voice that constructs melody
As if to say to newest sun
To shine ever still
All subconsciously
And I would follow lyrically
Each instruction as they ring
Like notes in my mind harboring
This subtle, silent calls to me

Steady
The road is hard, the load heavy
And you might think you're ready
To travel it alone

Wary
Know that life is so scary
Only a few people will carry
You when you stumble on the stones

Nary
Of these road, though they vary
Can break you if you don't tarry
A movement of muscle and bone

Verily
Life will never treat you fairly
But wander, my dear, only rarely
And soon you'll be where you choose to go

Goodnight, good day
Alright and okay
I'm on my way out of bed
Days pass so long
Blink and they're gone
Yet you go on in my head

Long sighs, first kiss
Longing for true bliss
I reminisce of you there
In evening light
Of you I write
Technicolor eyes, rosy hair

Hear you, here me
Always fearing
Of you disappearing from my mind
Good day, good night
Be in dreams tonight
So that I might never say goodbye

I will be broken on Thursday
It’s a factual thing to say
You may try to dissuade me
But I know, ‘cause I’m broken today

Offer your words and your sympathies
The cracked, the chipped china cup
Lips try to kiss back missing pieces
And so often they end up cut

I will be broken on Thursday
In filled rooms or all alone
Proclaim how you empathize
But it’s a burden I bear on my own

The smile I project onto my face
Is not to repair me, but you
Love is never lost in the efforts conveyed
But there’s only so much you can do

I will be broken on Thursday
A consistently cracked state of mind
Tuesday disappointing, Wednesday disjointed
But Friday has yet to decide

I never knew here to be one who would accept my roses
Or even one to exchange kisses like Eskimos, rubbing noses
But I could tell you it was her smile that gave her away
Even amidst the mud on her cheeks she gained throughout the day

She was never one for dresses, no, her jeans fitted just fine
Her figure flattering, though her clothes modest, humble in her design
And she would sooner throw a punch than look for rescuing
Yet she showed her princessly ways every time she'd sing

She would rather raise a mug than a cup of tea
And romp around, laughing all the while, on the bed with me
She'd giggle when I burped, and defeat me all the more
Then lie with me to look at the ceiling from her bedroom floor

But when she cried... oh when she cried... there crying she would be
And you would see no figure that was all the more dainty
No words said as she'd bury her face deep into my chest
Strong is she, all to me, in sorrow or happiness

I looked for you
Amongst the pale and grey
As I saw you fading away
Melting
Into the concrete
Falling to defeat

So I bent a knee
Inaudible prayers for you
Then unlaced my walking shoes
Time
I placed into your cup
Hoping it would be enough

No plan to stop the tears
Inelegant, no grace
Shirt wet where you buried your face
Grief
I lost you in your pale and grey
But I know I’ll find you again in a smile

We’ll speak and measure
Only the amount you need
Contemplating long walks and sore feet
Rising
Don your shoes, pick you up
As you did for me miles before

Never before has such a lie been received as the truth
As an I.O.U. that's masked within the words of I love you
For she would not be here without the chivalry of he
And she will show gratitude inside her misery

It happened and it stayed and she said she would correct it
And more time passed 'till she became complacent in her perspective
Until she found herself stuck between a rock and a heartbreak
The man who provided everything in return for a heart to take

He built his world around her with all the wishes finite
Not knowing why his love would stray away throughout the night
And he knew but refused to know, she told but refused to say
And so it carried on in the tediousness of days

And who will learn and who will crack and which side first will cry
Learning secrets and questions that seem to underlie
For love was meant to represent more than a toleration
The knight who saved her from the beasts and guaranteed her incarceration

Dear love I write to you
From lands composed of foreign tongues
Praying home is rife with sun
And that your eyes still hold stars and you are well

My journey away from you
Continues with you in my thoughts
And oh, the wonder my travels have brought
Will I be home soon, only time can tell

May your tender lips pray on
As my travels carry me near and far
May my dreams bring me to where you are
Whether I go by land or by sea

By this letter that I write
Know that your love longs for your arms
And to return to them safe from harm
Oh my darling, please wait for me

I will sit here in my apartment on my bedroom floor
Writing and pondering many a thing, eyes darting from page to door
And as the pencil sings its scribble, a thought will come to me
That the only reason I am with you is to not feel lonely

I've written a million times about this thing we call "love"
Joking about how you and I are a pair of complimenting gloves
The fact that we bring the best out of each other no matter what it comes to
But my mind and heart scream in unison that I'm not in love with you

I stop my pencil for a second to see what I've written
Feeling as if my heart's in my throat and rubbing my neck as if bitten
Not knowing how to digest that you are simply just a pawn
Sighing in what seems disbelief, but still I write on

Wanting to feel the feelings that you often share with me
While dumbly nodding and playing the part so that you will not leave
Furrowing my brow and wishing the epiphany would cease
Yet knowing even if it's buried in lies, the truth has found a crease

Here I sit with a heart in one hand and a pencil in the other
Knowing the truth is evident in the soul, cover to cover
And I will apologize a million times before this day is through
When the tears well up when I say I'm not in love with you

I could see you a thousand times and still not understand
The heart that creates fabled sonnets and holds love in her command
The wings of whom are white as swans and as wide as the albatross
All I can do is tell you why for words I'm at a loss

I could listen to silken words that fall out of your mouth
But be no further in my mind for a letter to come out
Such earthly made thing are like encasing gold within cold lead
So I will keep such things in my heart and fret not on what's in my head

I could touch the skin I crave each and every solitary day
My lips touch yours and then I find that I am worlds away
But still come short pertaining to these trivial words of mine
So I vow here, on bended knee, for the rest of my life, to try