I've all these Tokens...
        Tangible
                       and not.
That remind me of you
         When I think of you
          Because of you
              All of You.
                                   That Random Smile...
                                                                         Yours.
So when I lose that one
                 There was anger,
                                              frustration,
                                Sadness.
                                  Lost.
Yet there is still the memory
               of where we were
                    what we did
         And maybe you still have yours...
That would cause my heart to soar
        Because maybe you care
                     Maybe it meant something.
So Yes;
             I'm still on the hook
               Whether wanted or not

It's still the cat.

                            So I cannot let go
                                                         Not Yet.
Still holding onto that 10% hope
                    Until something forces it gone.





**July 5, 2013

INTERACT*                                                       ­                           CLARITY
                          ­                                        
  
                 Passed This;                                                            ­          Will happen once
                                     There...                                                         ­ Everyone gives in,
        All that is Hate.                                                            ­              and lets go.
                                    Gone.                    ­                                          So many unneeded things.
      Not possible                                                         ­                         Purely Want.
They,                                                      ­                                             Let go of the
           maybe We                                                               ­                  Manufactured Desire.
                Past This?





*June, 25 2013

Time is not a
      *luxury



TIME is
         NOT
                                                         ­                 All this time,
                                                           ­        have we always had
                                                             ­         it, or are we just
                                                            ­           conscious of it?
                                                             ­         days and nights,
                                                                ­      moons and suns,
                                                                ­       always passing,
                                                        ­            have always passed.
                                                         ­      What did those people do?
                                                            B­efore things were so calculated,
                                                    y­ear, month, day, hour, minute, second.
                                                         ­     Form of communication...
                                                ­                         Necessary?
                                                      ­          Mother of invention.
                                                      ­               Time is living,
                                                         ­  Nothing can exist without it
                                                        Becaus­e then nothing would pass,
                                                        you­r heart could not beat because
                                                        T­hat would be a measure of time.
                                                           ­ Transport to higher being?
                                                   Become something other than human?
                                                          ­       Higher Intelligence?
                                                   So how do we become outside of this?
                                                    Outside­ of this incessant counting...
                                                     ­         Where one can Truly
                                                           ­                  Be.


*June, 25, 2013

Sometimes when you think it's not enough,
                                             It's more.

These shallow waters run deep
                                           away from eternity.
I cannot hold that long...
            
            Oh please won't you try?
We don't have to go far.
                                       Just till you get scared.
And maybe a few steps more.
                             I'll be by your side
                             To hold if fear there.
Don't worry
                     I won't tell...
This moment
                    Of weakness
                                          Doesn't count
Never seen
Never heard.
                     But I'm still here
                                         A secret garden...

Yet,
        If not tended,
                             mended,
                                            appreciated
 ­                  Eye will over grow
Become too much
                            For both
                                           Just try.
                            For sanity.
                                             Say you've been there
                             For Real.


                                                         ­                                                                                               .                 **June 19, 2013

No matter how many times you plan it out,
Think it over in your head
               Analyze everything.
Try to see every logical
                                      and illogical
                Point of view.
Cover
           all
                 the
                         bases
Tell yourself you know who you are.
                                       What you are doing.
You've got morals set
                                   or beginning
Every situation will call into question those
                Things once though
Concrete.
                           Never concrete
Nothing is solid until confirmed
                                                   How to fulfill?
Justification?
                       Two
                               Equal
                                         Parts
         Agreeing?
                               STOP.
And let things happen.
                                      Don't try
                                      But try
Like waiting for a fish...
                     Let out that hook
                                                            Wait...
Expect,
             Without expecting,
                                               To catch that gem.

How to be so patient,
                                    so willing,
                                     So.             Controlled.
To allow such pondering,
                                           as many moons pass...
Is this faith?
                     To just disallow?
Is there not
                      Always
A Choice?
                     Because actions affect All
My choice to change,
                                   to act,
                                   to say,
                                   to be,
                                   to love,
                                   to create,
                                   to wonder,
To Exist.
                To act without thinking ahead,
                          the logical illogical.
To stare in that mirror...

In the moment morals?
                                      No.
           Similarities.
                               Be logical,
                                 For
                                        You.
Without thinking
                              too much.
                                                Maybe Happiness
                             Will Follow.


                                                                                                                         **June 15/19 2013

The moon flies high,
The sun dips low
       The stars come out.
Dredging up this thing called Hope
                And spirits fall to empty
                                                        no where left to go.
When found to be within the state of Hope
                     Get Out.
A timid,
              frightening,
                               ­  joyful,
                                             soul-wrenching
place                    to                  be.
Cannot stop
Cannot control it.
                              Everything can be controlled
Because those words...
                      I know there were not meant for me
Those
            Last                                     someone else gets to make you happy... everyday.
                      Three
                          ­        Words.
     The message
      The Hope
The you want to be there
         Not here
         Not my arms.
                Hope is an empty void
Both uplifting and demolishing
                                                   At the same time.
Must be controlled.
                                 Is being controlled.
         You do not want me.
My heart has skipped many a beat for you.
               Time to get that steady rhythm back.
These will have no more titles
                          no more thoughts
                          Just Release.
I apologize for being that naive
                                  That much of a Joke
                                  For holding that much Hope.
You'll put that easy smile there
               with one extra just for you.
Put there oh so easily.
                                                                ­                        Love to see you shine.
               Sorry for being ignorant
               Sorry for playing the fool.
My heart holds onto much
Including the memory of you...
                                                   Someone will be lucky to just have You.
As more moments pass,
                                       this will likely be easier
As long as that smile...
                                       never parts from your face.


                                                         ­                                                 **June 12, 2013

What is on my mind?
Well take a look at what I write.
               These are what I choose to say.
What I understand.
                                Or think I understand
                                          For now.
For thoughts are always forming,
                                        growing,
       ­                                 evolving,
            CONSTANT

­Things need to change.
              Become different.
And not just with me.
           With you.
           With Others.
                                 With the World.
            With the way our souls connect.

You have no idea what is going on in a strangers life.
The least you can do is put
                                           a Smile on
                                      For them regardless
                                        of how you feel.

It does not matter what you say,
                            what you do.
As long as you make a kind gesture
To acknowledge an "Others" existence.

We do not need analysis,
Theories made up and 'proven'
Words over drawn and meanings miscarried.
Thoughts over done and
Spoken words misleading.

All we need is that reconnection
Reclaim what we once had.
               The Beauty of Everything
                    At our fingertips,
                     In our full grasp.
                  Lost.
                           But not gone.

While I say this,
I understand that I cannot know how
Things actually were way back when.

But look at the people right now,
Living in similar situations as those before us.

                        Yes.
                               They still exist.

They are Happy.
Though they have little.
Often none.

So where I am.
Where we are.
Is not where I'm supposed to be.
    Not where I can exist.
    Not where We can exist.

Where personal destruction found
Worldly disaster will soon follow

As we destroy ourselves,
Help each other dig those graves...
We are also destroying earth.

So how can we live,
     How can I stay alive

How to get there?
        This abysmal place where all is well.
These material things cannot follow
                They weigh down,
                        Provoke,
                Provide measurement.

There should be no scale.
Each moment should be one to share,
                                        one to learn,
                                        one to grow,
                                        one to offer.

The greatest gift you can give to others is to let them Experience You.

The greatest gift others can give to you is to let You Experience Them.

                                                               ­                                                   **June 7, 2013