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i saw a little squirrel jumping in a tree
suddenly he fell right in front of me
lying on the floor he was very still
i thought that he was dead it gave me such a chill.

then he began to move he was only shocked
he must have only fainted when his head was knocked
i sat there a while till he had come round
made a little pillow and placed on the ground.

he laid  in front of me and had a little rest
till he was feeling better and back at his best
now he is ok and he his feeling fine
now that little squirrel is a friend of mine
I'll love you,
even with all the scars you bare.

{ E.I }
 Apr 2015 Nicole Ashley
susan
looking back and forth
from you
   to her
     to them
        & the others
and i wonder...
who of you are sincere
which of you go home in complete & utter contentment?

   you...
wearing plastic smiles
             coifed hair
      painted eyes
   and lips
             gelled
     sprayed
          sprinkled &  spritzed
                   iron out
     blown out
      shaken & tousled
for what?

to add to the alcohol induced facade
   of the similar?

no, i am not unique

i'm just better at showing what's real
than most.
I don't know what it's like,
to rise above it all.
Only, the feeling in your gut,
when one begins to fall.
And I couldn't speak a word,
on peace, serenity.
But I can tell a thousand tales,
of woe and misery.
If the gutter held a vote,
the king, would I be crowned.
So tell me things are looking up,
I'll show you the way down.
 Apr 2015 Nicole Ashley
mk
in hope
 Apr 2015 Nicole Ashley
mk
she silences herself now
so that one day she may be heard
she chooses to study now
so that one day she may succeed
she chooses to stay home now
so that one day she may go out
she chooses to shy away now
so that one day she may be social
she chooses to not think about love now
so that one day she may find it
she chooses to put away her ambitions now
so that one day she may achieve them

everyday she chooses to put aside her wants and her needs
in the hopes of a brighter future and better life ahead
everyday she dies a little
in the hopes of being able to truly live one day

but who is to guarantee that that day will come?
who may guarantee her a future at all?
who can guarantee that she will wake up the next morning?
is there any guarantee that she will even live to see the days she has spent her whole life working for?

to live in the moment; or not to live in the moment;
that is the real question
Sleeplessness is a lonely kingdom.

I could promise myself discipline with the daylight,
but what if I told you that I lied under the moonlight?
Sinners never sleep,
sinners never sleep.

They lie awake and talk
with the wings of Gabriel.
They don't shut their eyes;
there are stories in the picture houses of their own.
Of lie and deciet.
And guilt and anguish.

They'll never sleep.

They'll howl with the night
and forget why they were meant
to darken their hearts to match the sky.

They'll never glow. They'll never beat.
I'll never sleep. I'll never sleep again.
From a sad pathetic journal entry. 16th April 2015, 1.59a.m.
 Apr 2015 Nicole Ashley
Jane
Friend
 Apr 2015 Nicole Ashley
Jane
It's been a long way,
From where we begin,
So stay for a ride,
Through this last tide.

It's been pain and sweat,
But never regret,
Has been days of threat,
Now it's all set.

It's been a long ride,
For you now my friend,
I would tell you all about it,
When I see you again.

It's been a few years,
Without you my friend,
Come back to home land,
This is not the end.

It's been history,
No more cavalry,
You will be in memory,
You are always family.
For Paul
Rest in peace, for all that we miss.
when I get drunk before 12 a.m. people tend to,
leave because I keep repeating how much I miss my ex girlfriend and her ******* amazing brown eyes and how,
much I hate how my sister is so **** perfect when I'm not. she must have forgotten to give me the recipe.
I hate when people brag about their new boyfriends and how many times their,
parents have caught them having *** because it's not me and I'm so ashamed.
I hate that if people beg me long enough I'll,
do as they please because I need the affection and the,
attention I never had because I was abused for 10 years by the people who was supposed to give me attention,
love,
support. I guess they were never meant for loving. maybe that's why divorces are always an option and I'm so glad that I don't even have the ******* opinion to,
marry all over the world yet. but what if I fall in love with a country through a person,
again,
who gets down on,
one knee with a beautiful ring, and asks me if I wanna spend forever with them,
as if forever even ******* exists?
then I'll at least forget my ex girlfriend and her ******* amazing brown eyes and my sister's recipe for the perfection I craved but never got because my happiness rely on the people,
who tend to leave when I get drunk before 12 a.m.

(e.k.j.)
 Apr 2015 Nicole Ashley
yas
Untitled
 Apr 2015 Nicole Ashley
yas
and the weight of you naked on top of me buries me so far beneath
the bed and into the ground i can smell the dirt of the earth ten feet
below us.
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