If I was pretty
Maybe they would stay
If I was skinny
Maybe they would fall for me
If I was louder
Maybe they would like me better
If I was less needy
Maybe they would do more than just sleep with me
If I was anything but me
Id be more then a one nightstand

In fifth grade,
they called me gay.

In sixth,
they called me ***.

In eigth,
I tried to end my life for the first time.
The second time shortly after.

In ninth,
I came to grips with my sexuality.
I tried to end my life for the third and fourth time.
My parents told me that I wasn't going to heaven.

In tenth,
I lost all of my friends and found my first love.
I fell in love with a broken CD.
The sharp edges would tear my skin like paper.
That year I tried for the fifth and sixth time.

Present day,
I'm in love with someone but they don't know yet.
My last attempt, number 7, was more than a year ago.