Defeated

I have my white flag waving.
I'm in the trenches waning.
I have my black heart breaking
with the pressures gaining.

I've got a spot of color just behind my eyelids.
I've got a sense of anger burning red and vibrant.

I've got a flash of hope behind apprehension.
I've got the notion of defeat in our separation.

I have my white flag waving
with the pressures gaining.
I have my my black heart breaking.
I'm in the trenches waning.

I am no better than anyone else.
I'm but a page upon a shelf.
I am a product of amateur stealth.
I'm not any better than I, myself.

I am no god, nor am I a fool.
I'm not just a piece and I'm more than a tool.
I am not a beast, but I'm barely a man.
I don't even aim to be the best that I can.

I am no more than I can see.
I'm but a figment of my own dreams.
I am a minnow among a reef.
I'm the by-product of other's beliefs.

I couldn't keep up.
I could not keep in touch.
I couldn't ever tell you
that we needed to grow up.
I had to sever ties.
I need you kept out of my life.
I had to get by my denial
just to get by your lies.

You are a poison.
You're a stain.
You're a fight.
You are helpless.
You are wrong.
You were right.

I had to speak up.
You had to interrupt.
You need to find a way to trust
the rotten feeling in your gut.
I could not see you through,
but I could see right through you.
While it is spouting an excuse,
your mouth will never tell the truth.

You were reason.
You were effort.
You were light.
That was then,
then was day,
this is night.

Bias over basis.
Look at we've done.
We've unraveled every inch of the thread that we have spun.

Errors over trials.
This is how we play.
So much for analysis and so much for how it weighs.

Ears were made to listen.
Look at what they do.
They've become a man-made highway for logic to pass through.

Eyes were made to see.
Look where we begin.
Judgment at the sign of growth: this is the world that we are in.

There I was,
standing; a mess.
It is you, my dear.
Omit the fear
and I will do the rest.

Fuming around,
We will be breaking ground.
We will be taking action
without making a sound.

There you were,
standing; a mess.
It is me that you see.
I can make you believe
that fear is a foe to contest.

Devastation abound!
We make heads spin around!
We are more than shock-value;
We're the best pound-for-pound.

There we were,
standing; a mess.
Yet we're the caliber of champions.
We're at home with the best.

A stuttering halt is a fantasy here;
as believable as low-budget science fiction.
Let us freeze one and all with violent ambition.

A time of calm is nonexistent here;
our  disposal of time is a fruitless conviction.
Let us play the victim of a reckless tradition.

For me, paradise is just a pair of dice:
if we roll them and get lucky,
then society won't **** me.

The odds are painless.
You can trust me;
we won't ever be so lucky.

You are as confident as broken nails
and as filthy as a rodent smells.
You're like infidels in cheap hotels
where prostitutes have body sales.

This guilt was berthed when your stomach fell
forever deep into an endless well.
This is as tragic as a soiled veil
as you've become an empty shell.

Cigarette smoke climbs the walls,
but broken alarms sound muted calls.
Out here, there are countless brawls.
Your city sleeps; our city crawls.