02/05/25

I’ll see it   once I believe it          
        the holy bell is rung
           I’ll feed myself   when I deceive myself
         the holy well is deep

04/05/25

i'll draw breath  when breath is given  
                         the holy song  remains unsung
   i'll free myself  when i defeat myself
                        the holy word  bites its tongue

applause of pigeons lifting   a cluttered company
they high circle hurt  between winter stark          
apartments brittle      and settle in braver             
perch and concrete sill
 frosted  but in the sun

body     recover
please
                you're embarrassing me
            i want to take a walk   in the snow

untitled   we'd be better served
like the bulk of resting nature appears
with no obvious contortional vouch
or *******  of a species legend

.

[         I   M   A   G   E                                O   F         ]


[         E   M   P   T   Y                     G   R   E   Y         ]


[         C   I   T   Y              S   T   R   E   E   T   S         ]


D   E   P   R   E   S   S   I   O   N
————————————
within depression, practices toward happiness
seem like something insincere...  a betrayal of self

hungry
belly growling
go    c a n n i b a l i s t i c
on   victims     of   my   appetite
people flee me with their tidy routine
t r a u m a t i c a l l y    busted up
meat flowers    devoured
my glutton grows
hungry

i am obvious to you                        
a glaring stowaway
            on your beauty feast
  spending   perilously  oblivious
to where this warmth is spreading

bakes the day                                        
corpse human   naked to nature
brewing humid importance
sleaving off psychological impotence
busy  
with library returns

solve  like ashes                                                  
the moisture  from the living world surround
watching  the days go dry          
               barren witches  upon the season

hospital bed                                      
                   wedded flourish of decor
catcalls foam the past                
                   behind the eye blind     stimulus
limbo scapes rake...          
                                then nevermore

scurry
out of its' tree
a squirrel in the rain
runs low                      
                  just like a rat
cuts across the concrete
manic for something
out of its tree
scurry

upon urinating                
                          in a lampless alleyway
my body cools                
       and i note
                                             the night summer wind
a pleasure
i recall the senses                
              of summers previous

early to rise and observe          
trip over the cat
first to witness that things        
need not be so absurd
and inglorious and murdered  

reassemble breath                        
resemble prescribed life

jellied air                                
and bunged grey clouds    
conducted  along a stream
an overhead burthen
they curl in on themselves  
a lace of internal tension

the air is cooler      
      less kenetic and soupy              
           less aggressive with the mammal scent
safer (it seems) clean

        the skin retracts a little
dryly
                     less welcoming to dirt contact
                           my feet shift cooly in my sandals

the world awaits
             new temperament

a semi seasonal species
we are subject —
— but many play out the Winter
with long work hours
and pricy imported foods

the rotting process                  
proof of life  dampens the air
with pine-like fragrance
transfusional breath confirms
      i'm one with the earth

weather breaks the clouds            
    a day of mouths  eating mouths
cold churning nature      
lording weight over my mood ;    
the role of a child   subdued

When I smile
free of influence
we are children together
When I am giddy and smiley
minded by
and under the cover of a drug
your discomfort
is apparent
I despise your eyes and your company

Life liquid
unteamed
abrasive
I part from you violently
and seek hastle in other venues
I smile now
with malice
which I illuminate
lighting up a cigarette
in the care of cupped hands

I expand my view
outward
through pinhole

Creature extends
and carries intension

Carrion makes contact
and speaks a creative

Opportunity
and Mut gives aid to another

Feind conducts its business and makes its bed
adults it's day and doings
toward the better

The Beast minds the gap

It notes its own breathing

Human operates into ease

flood this forrest          
         like you forecast
and test how true      
         the treehouse i grew

is it love
or the parasite ?

my pilot bulk                      
aims for relief
       it pursues this via                  
          your romantic correction

in public arena                  
a library stair                    
(i never prior encountered you)

one step as foreigner        
the approach
and upon a swift internal pendulum
i make witless incisions
hurried mended sentences
directed stuns
invasive
i demand the compromise
                  of your company
hastily push at boundaries and
you're not so accommodating

                                                 but
on a further occasion
same building
we exchange a battering of conversation
that
   then
       matures
           into barter-like use of language

despite my harassments
  a civil cultivation is unearthed
tongue within this intelligence effort i lessen
loosen my demanding appearance
disregard my dignity
     a skin suit about the ankles

you're open in a vein of similarity
   you flesh out your own controls
we've progressed quickly
there's an aped conduct
                 and flashing attitudes
this time we share table space
a nearby café

we have become quite unmanned
    repeated meet ups
upon humours we adjust small habits
    and shake on perceptions where we overlap
it becomes
   more an overlay of rationalities
        than resented promises

fast time passes and

i move into your living space                                  
i pick a wildflower                                                    
               and put it in the tiny vase on your dining table
we agree on its colour                                              
we agree on a book to make our bible material
we agree on the pitch of the tinnitus we share
the clothes i am to wear
i switch to your diet
and you cease taking medications
we sleep on your lawn like children
and bring down the night sky for comfort

during the day we wear our sleep
              like a lubrication for our chores
and go about our productivity
              in genuine partnership
yet
i feel we're just out of reach
            of some dark harm

we are an excellent sample pair
it is all vital
we grow stronger the more we quiz it
recycling our *******
refine our agreements
await further impulses
and come closer to plug

so..
do we please love
      or simply indulge a parasite ?