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Tell me while I still breathe —
What do you really want from me?
Is there something you need?
What do you get from my agony?

How can you pierce my heart,
Then twist the blade within my chest,
Then tear me completely apart
And still — not find your rest?

What evil force could this command?
It must be from the tenth circle of hell.
What amount of darkness in your hand
Would wish me anything but well?

Out of pure pity, I care for you...
And wonder when will you be whole,
Cause now I know — the things you do,
You do to have control.

That's the beast that feeds your soul,
You are more broken than I'll ever be.
But there's a way out from that abysmal hole,
If only this truth you'd be able to see...

You are as big as little you are.
It's hard to understand it from afar...
But the moment you admire even a little star,
You will know — you're not that far.
I have oceans to spill
Of emotions I feel,
Of thoughts to share
And no basin to fill.

I filled the lagoon or two,
Bearing graceful names,
Now I'm sentenced to ink
And paper's word games.
I found my sanctuary
In the bottomless, raging sea.
I sank as I grew weary —
Reached its bottom with my bare feet.

Free of motion,
Evading commotion,
Ceasing devotion,
Dreading demotion.

This is a resignation;
I serenely grow my gills —
Neither weakness nor damnation,
Just a soul worn out from flotation.
 Jul 9 neth jones
Liana
One day
I will finally climb that mountain
I will hyjack a car

One day
When the e cops will ask me if I'm okay as I walk in the side of the road
I'll say
"Oh I'm great"
And it wouldn't even be a lie
Because I would know
What was to come
In only a matter of days

One day
I'll walk and walk
Until my legs don't work
And I'll keep going
On my knees

One day
I'll reach that small town
In small America
And I won't even mind the MAGA's
Because you'll be there

One day
You'll say
"I wish I could hug you right now"
And I'll climb in your room from the window
And give you the biggest one
The world has ever seen

One day
I'll be able to hold your hand
And we can walk on earth together
And eat all the jolly ranchers you'll spare
But I'll let you have all the watermelon ones

One day
I won't have to ask
"Still down?"
Because I'll be there
To see it myself

One day
You won't be 26 days away
But right there
In front of me

One day
I promise
And that'll be almost as magical
As you
Yk who you are <3 I love you so so so much
 Jul 9 neth jones
Zywa
The friendship is so

delicate, we cannot say --


goodbye properly.
Autobiographical novel "Bij nader inzien" ("On closer inspection", 1963, Han Voskuil) - spring 1952, Amsterdam

Collection "Trench walking"
The sign said, “welcome”, so I opened up and I went in,
Thought I could move within and along.
But the faces were strange
And it seemed oh so plain,
Here was a place
Where I don’t belong.

There was a table before me where I thought I could sit
To devour the radish and bask in the song.
But gold brick shattered the plate
And the minstrels were late.
It turned out to be another place
Where I don’t belong.

And the next door led to another room
The lock was not so strong.
I wanted to fit,
Even expected it,
But it was another place
Where I don’t belong.

Down the street another stop to observe,
And I’ll wait among the throngs.
Perhaps here’s where I’ll see
Some people like me.
But it was another place
Where I don’t belong.

Alone on a walk, no need to talk.
Somehow isolation doesn’t seem wrong.
And it could be good,
This silent solitude.
Maybe
Here is the place I belong.
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