very *****,
very *****,
very *****.

so jealous,
so jealous,
so jealous.

very excited,
under your spell,
dreams of the blue sea drifting…
wanting you.

Kneeling down
        Speaking to God
        His black eyes scream forgiveness
        The sound gives me goosebumps

    You see
                  I've done things most would consider a bit unusual
  But I've always deserved it
     A razorblade horizontally drug across my lips reminded me to never talk back
     Embedding shards of glass in my legs one by one reminded me to never run away from my problems
              
            After everyone died there were questions I could never say the real answer to
          
        You were there to hear the truth, always were
        Beside me, behind me, beneath me
    You never loved me enough to be inside, but it was ok because your mystique kept me inebriated

    The questions never stopped the rooms got smaller and I had to run
       I had to leave. You came with me

    I hated myself for not staying. And when the pieces of glass weren't enough, I understood I deserved a worse punishment, I lit a cigarette and started my trusty chainsaw
   And after I was finished even you shrunk away from me, my flat friend made of blackness where did you go?

       Now all I have is God.
He listens okay, but he's not like you. With my decimated body leaning against my bed, I look into his two deep dark hollow eyes, I bring his eyes closer, into my mouth, and finally he talks back. He says *bang

.
                                 ex
                           x    s t     x
                          s     e n      s
                          t      d e       t
                         e        d         e
                         d     w   a      d
                         w    r     r      w
                          a     a   n      a
                           r     t   y      r
                             r      e      r
                               a   X    a
                                    n
                                    t
                                    y

And so it happened, the two of us met.
But not exactly how one might expect.
I was in a rush, trying to think of something clever.
Then you walked right by out into the stormy weather.
Though many would say that wasn't technically meeting.
My eyes met yours, and my heart started beating.
First, it felt as if it would stop, but then it began to feel as if it would pop.
I had never laid my eyes on a man quiet like this,
but I knew if ever given the chance his lips I would kiss.
As he walked away,
I had to stay.
For I knew the troubles a man his type would bring,
but boy, did he make my heart sing.


-m.n.

Too alive to be allowed to live a lie
            I'm dry
    Even my tear ducts now subside
The rot inside me is so real
      Everything thats fake is how I feel
If I die with my truth laid out,
   Will you scream and shout I'm who you cared about?

You, sir,
You are a wizard
You are just a puppy,
Lost in the woods

I can guide you,
Help you and hold you,
You can cry out to me in times of need.
Could this be what I think it is?

Is this real?
What's the matter?
Are you alive?
ARE YOU OKAY?

..... Don't lie.
I know you're not.
That is why I am here,
To help you up when you fall down.

But that bond will only hold so long,
It'll only last as long as you want it there.
If you push me away and hide the truth,
I'll leave you in the forest.