After all I've met this beautiful girl, the way she smiles I swear my chest twirled. We talk and laugh, she's bringing happiness back. Howdy Mr is how it starts, then these feels began to spark. I like podcast music baking (hehe) and teen wolf. Stop it mam I'd love it more for your company. Good morning honey! You're something I think of and I giggle like it's funny. I'm genuinely happy. Interested and involved, I love the way you meet up with you ma to watch some ball. But the Bacon burger was the OG Touchdowns for the onion ring! Miss beautiful I'm right here! Let's bake and enjoy a cold beer. Talk music and poetry to make the sparks crystal clear ❤

Beauty should never be temporarily

People say they don't have enough.  I've learned how to make the best of what I have. I am known for losing and winning followed by more losing. But I'm surrounded by good friends and I have a strong sibling bond. What more can I really ask for. I do get scared sometimes but that is the way of adult hood. I can't say that I am happy with some choices I've made in the past, but everyone has those moments. I am going to be working in a whole new level of change. I'm scared but yet intrigued. It's not far from where I live and it's dayshift. I'd say that's a win, but I hope I last longer than a few months. I'm so tired of starting over. But that's what makes my life a bit more exciting. A new job, hopefully a decent career. For that I will hopefully no longer live in fear but for the most important part....my new chapter.

My sweet Cupcake,
How's it going sweets? You see my old man yet? How about Broccoli? I ******* can't without you ***, your "Bell" Has been through Hell lately. I never thought I'd miss your pet names so ******* much. Sometimes when I'm alone I always say those names in my head to stay focused. I used to be so ******* excites to travel the distance to see you let alone spend hours socializing on the phone or even sitting online with each other's company. Dear Lord I ******* miss that to the ******* moon and back baby. I wish to even smoke a bowl with you or even just have your favorite snacks with you.
(Strawberry cheesecake Danish)
(Cheez-It DUOZ Sharp Cheddar and Parmesan Cheese)
I have so much to say but can't even type them or write them or even let alone say them. But I will say this, I love and Miss and Need you Nicole Michelle Hammond.
Love always your
Bellion
P. S.
Sorry if I spelt the nickname wrong, you never taught me how to spell it xoxo love you cupcake.

No one can escape the past.
Regret happens to fast.
When was I appreciated and was I a priority or am I last?
**** that I need her back.
Been through hell together just say the magic words and we'll get back on track.
Maybe I was a bit harsh with my doubts.
But it's you I can not live without.
Give it a fresh start.
I can prove I'm of worthy.
I'm your love not an enemy.
No one can escape the past.
But I promise you nothing like it will happen because past taught me how to improve.
Am I your regret or am your regretting past? How about you choose.

No love so I chose to drink. I'm atleast getting wasted with plenty of time to think. Steep choices hit me fast. Cigarette ashes fly in the air. I'm having drinks and I don't care.
"Nel why the **** do you write so much?!"
I write **** down because sometimes life's to tough.
I'm here, slamming some beer. Homies by me about to be a decent year. We all have cheers.
I've got 4 by 4s and I a bury social anxiety six foot deep. 6 foot away or 6 below our feet. Not even a disk because yall so cheap.

I am not doing the picking sides game. I've got friends among friends. The battle is between y'all and not me. I'm a just keep my head down beneath. I'm a stay away but be in between. I don't have friends that stay for very long. But I have ones that may be a part if my lufe forever. I'm hoping to do better. If you a true friend you wouldn't beg me to pick sides. I don't wanna be a part of your war

Look up to the sky there's notes up now. All these silenced voices will play them out loud. Unless your vocals call you, the notes sing out. Let your mind clear so you can feel the beat. Each song has heart that will continue to beat.

When I play my instrument I'd always close my eyes, Then reopen to look up to the sign from the sky's. I've already forgotten the world because I went to mine. No more darkness because it's time for these notes to shine. All these notes are like stars, the'll repeat their gaze. Been playing it on repeat each night. Music wasn't the nightmare. It was a dream that became true.

Look up to the sky there's notes up now. All these silenced voices will play them out loud. Unless your vocals call you, the notes sing out. Let your mind clear so you can feel the beat.

Each song has heart that will continue to beat. Each star has their own performance. A moment of peace. I want the lights to dim, I'm back to day dreaming. I'll pick up the instrument to shut off the light. Guide the week away from the dark for life of love and peace so grab me a mic. All notes are like stars, The'll repeat their gaze to face the shadows.

What is your story? Mines been band all the way. Do you prefer choir or do you do both. Don't matter you have your own performance and don't be late. The sky is ready to hear your notes. Here's a tip, don't resist or tense. close your eyes and follow up with something that you'd like to pretend. I like to think of my love slow dancing with me. closing my eyes every few measures helps me get away. I'm a let these stars play music for me with the wind and tree leaves singing to me. Let the grass be it's own melody along with this river.

My face drowned under fire.
That liquid burns faster and smoother with ice. I began kicking rocks, down after a shot. Why was i here? Had plenty of other waves. Lost some friends without the chance of saying goodbye. Happens usually overnight. I've turned off my phone, just to feel away from home. I've gotten greedy, so needy. Always guilty of being selfish. When did selfishness become normal again? Evrytime things got so hopeless, I've raged myself out of control. All I wanted was a place I can call home. I've met some decent **** in the dark. Not all the world is so bad when most around you knows what it's like to fall apart. If any of them needed me, I've always shown. Through thick and thin..... I believe i understood that the most. I've became what hurt the most. I've gone down that dark road. No music to guide me home. No lights to keep me open for a ghost. I've haunted myself yet again. Away from a home, not knowing where to go. No love in sight, no lips of delight. Not a hug or a goodnight. A empty cold hand, not even a blanket.
I've doubted I'd make it. Always sparkling nights, my confidence crumbles and falls. Running away towards fire, dizzy, struggling to speak, I wanna eat, about to sleep, but surounded by company. I don't want another drink.