Time to take more time to be busy, sorry for those Who'd want to see me. I believe being busy will be better for me personally. I've got myself as a priority. I'd like to find myself more busy.

She is far to good from the start, I don't want ruin anything because I try to speak from the heart. If my heart spoke I'd show her the world, well atleast mine. But I don't want to seem like I'm a *** all the time. To be honest I just want someone to call mine. I can change a chapter in my book. Just as long as if my adventures aren't left on read. She smiled and for a moment the time froze and my brain freeze seemed out for her comfort. How am I a little clingy with her crown, I'll sip on it and bow down. Cheers to a queen, cheers to her beauty. I admire her, this is too new to me :)

She began to cry to herself as she speaks with confidence. Her laugh screamed in pain. If it wasn't for who she had left, things would of gotten real bad. Sorry love someday I wish to give you more than what you have. "All I've got" she said
I wished I'd a saved her before she felt dead. She got worse by being left on Read.  He kills her, all he had to do was abuse the **** out of the heart she was willing to give up. It wasn't love. It wasn't okay, but it was her security blanket every night and day. Look at the ******* pain she's in today.

Little do I know
I've got to stay clean and let go
Past catches up
I'm just lock it up
Everyday is a battle
This is the last time I drink 3/4 of a bottle. Like my issues they poor down my throat. Time to swallow them because I'm scaring and hurting everybody. I don't work well with anyone because i get so ******* anxious. Tbis ain't good and mentally dangerous. But i rush home to my room and lay the **** down. Distracting my self with a song. By now i should all the words. too bad Nickelback I've got one objective. Stay faithful and stay clean. Don't mean to to hurt y'all. My thoughts of myself aren't good, god forbid I'm clean. Wait what do I need? I'm literally applying for a second job to get caught up and to stay busy. **** the world for ****** up my reality. **** anxiety all I do is listen to loud music and write about the ****** up issues. Not eating and struggling with sleeping. Not taking care of my body but I'm down to keep moving. Seems like I'm losing. Another song that is on my mind is kind of depressing. when your gone by Avirl Lavigne I'm caught up on the same thing. This is me ready to stay clean. I'm a mess, every persons regret. I'm a bottle it back up and jam it in the freezer. Because if i open again **** will get cold and cuts my go deeper.

Can't really explain the past.
I'll help you understand how it felt.
Been in a relationship with my mental hell
Toxic but who gives a ****, I'm under a spell.
In love with disappointment should I purpose?
I'm in between regrets and depression.
Lied & cheated is something I've done, that's something i should mention.
I put time into change.
Guess whose about to disappear again?
I can be that better person,  but it's always for nothing.
Go ahead Nel, you're not going to have anything but wasted time.
Won't even be a delay.
Might as well isolate for the day.
I've always ignored my writing sessions for love. Guess my feelings went to waste.
I've started and put out flames to be replaced.
I use to think my heart was pure as gold,
But reality ******* me, put me on "hold"
Ashes filling the air. I'm burning in the cold and now I'm reconizing this isn't fair.
(Wait Nel, you think lifes fair?)
Sky got way to dark,I'm falling apart. Even gold can deteriorate Guess that's what I have to expect whenever i hear the word "break"

Darling if you were around I'd spam call.
Sorry for my whiskey breath I'm just truly trying to get home safe'N'all. A homie blacked out and tried calling. Honey I wasn't following. I was vibing and keeping track of the songs you'd love. But night like this makes it hurt knowing your lifeless and above. Got no porch light but I'm home. Wish I was able to call your phone. Cupcake where do I go from here? A officer called my cell and I'm just trying to drink a beer. Watch the sun rise, forever for you I'll try to fly. But unfortunately that ***** made you say goodbye. Now I'm drunk on a porch trying to wonder why. Darling I'm clingy and have your love. It's something I can't fall out of.

A fruity color, tougher than any other.
Beautiful tree with a warm color.
Eye candy but the visons sweet and healthy
Blossoms flood the windy sky with beauty
Petals flood this tree, A warm breeze just hit me
The scent is just as sweet and great to look at visually

You've been there for me since I've been a kid. Swearing, crying, screaming, and denying  and yet here we are look at what we did.
Laughing, loving, and hope. After all the hatred and peace you've been there helping over the skills to officially cope.
Poetry I love you because you've never let me down. I can honestly say I'm proud. I'm sorry recently it's all been dark. I promise you it's all real and painful but thank you for listening to me. This break up really put me down physically and mentally. We've been together for 2 1/2 years and after the break up we still did couple ****. Kisses and I Love Yous was still a part of it. Please have her come home to me, because our life has a future together sad to say not everyone can agree. She said I'm officially done but I can't find myself to leave. Poetry thank you for listening because writing my **** out has been there for me since I was a kid. I am now suffering and my writing is a true friend no I take that back writing is family and it is something I'll never give up because we've been together since I was a kid.