If anybody got the message from Elliot and is able to help will you please help or at least spread the word.

I miss getting up early for the practice of Cloquet Lumberjacks.
Helmets and shorts with no contact.
Airs fresh and chill got me fired up.
Lets go before season slips with no love.
The joy of two a days. Game days perfect each Friday.
Ready to hit at practice and ready to beat the team.
Win or lose does not matter I have my pride and a earned jeresey.
This Is Fall, We will kick off in time for 3rd quarter for us to have the ball. I a LumberJack I played For Cloquet and It's the beginning of Fall.
Small moments change a lot and brings the memories of comfort. I love the chills and gold colors.

I don't know what to feel but I better figure it out. Sorry to want to bail I promise to work it out. I just now realize I don't belong home, I better get my *** back to Minnesota before I'm Alone. Been by myself for far to long. I better fix up the mess I made before things go wrong.

I'm sick of losing myself. Someone just understand and don't judge. I came home to be in a hole. Things are gonna pile and I am already almost buried. I should of been financially ready. I was hoping Job Core would be a right away thing. Now I am losing.

**** this place now, It's a joke all over again. Family in general fell a part and now **** is spread-ed about me. If I wanted to live this life style I'd a took my *** to Texas. Drama saddling up and success slipping. **** it, what the hell am I missing. Take me out of this nightmare before I lose control. I am alone and expected to pay more then I should. Why the need to **** up already? Is this home?

I remember everyone looking out for each other. Now people don't bother. What the ****? WHY NOW? I'm confused and lost again. In between family soon it will be open. I want to go back to Minnesota because it became home. Here it's nothing but anger. Family's here but not the family that changed me. I love you all by blood and by care. But I'm old enough to realize there's more for me back there. Sorry to say this isn't where I belong but I am happy to be able to say you're family. Minnesota is just the place where I'm happy. Had an awesome job, my own place. time and people were decent enough to live with. I just can't relate around here anymore.

Many people maybe so amped up and so full of energy. I am going to rock it out with some Three Days Grace. Wouldn't mind the Rocking Life. All sorts of bands and types of Rock. I felt the need to belong. Wheres Hollywood Undead? Turn that **** up. Some Bullet for my valentine or slipknot I don't care I want to jam I want to Rock. prove yourself by Varsity Week lets jam out time to Rock it out. A little bit of PTV maybe Asi it is I'm in the mood to Rock it out

Oh darling I keep hoping you will jump in.
Time does its work and I have day dreamt all day.
I know I should wait but I am missing someone I have yet to meet.
So far it's imaginary but I know it will be special.
I just want to send this out there.
Be patient and Love may come sooner then a blink of an eye.
I am more than willing to wait for the one whom will be by my side for the rest of my life

The Treble clef represents one instrument of one others life. Music is no harm, it's the ideal that caused its history to be violent. Priceless to say history is a violent memory no matter how peaceful they claim it to be. Memories is at ease and thoughts are the emotions. It's all shared by stories. Notes are my Stars, they've got repeat signs to repeat my playlist. Each star is just as different as to whom who plays it or sings it. It's sharing your song behind the story. Treble Clef I am proud to say you're the reason for my passion. Like I tell myself when I play my instrument. Notes are my stars, I can repeat my nights by gazing up to your notes. I just wonder if it's the same as a Bass Clef.

I'll clean up my looks, change my acts. Do whatever it takes to keep my pride and will go through hell and back. I will keep walking on this street dark or not. By the time i go to bed i have the strength and tell myself this is not defeat because i fought. Just me coming clean baby :)

   Take the problems as a complement because you fighting through it and turning out okay will just give you experience and will make you stronger

Beauty should never be temporarily

To me beauty is when I can look deep in to your eyes and see what is the worst a person. It is all about looking into there eye to see a reflection and the love I can see in their emotions by gocking into their eyes. I define it as a beautiful soul who I know wouldn't let me down and they know the feeling as well as I speak of or watch them. You can be crying, laughing, angry, but that's my beautiful love who just showed beauty. Its in the smile, how you think and cherish that smile. There is nothing more then a blessful girl who can look back at you and think the same thing. To me you'll always be beautiful.

When I woke up this morning I felt the need to rush to something where I know I have not point in hoping. These streets fill me with sorrow so the songs I jam to don't make a change when music turns off. I then become to realize this sun will rise as long as they days productive. So sorry to disappoint you all, I tell you this is not right for me. just promise to hand me a flash light and Let me find my way out of this tunnel. I just want to please everyone but it can't work unless I please my needs
World will you please stop, not for just me but everyone else who needs to catch up. we got nothing but time, why don't we just slow it down to savor the peace earth has brought us

Look up to the sky there's notes up now. All these silenced voices will play them out loud. Unless your vocals call you, the notes sing out. Let your mind clear so you can feel the beat. Each song has heart that will continue to beat.

When I play my instrument I'd always close my eyes, Then reopen to look up to the sign from the sky's. I've already forgotten the world because I went to mine. No more darkness because it's time for these notes to shine. All these notes are like stars, the'll repeat their gaze. Been playing it on repeat each night. Music wasn't the nightmare. It was a dream that became true.

Look up to the sky there's notes up now. All these silenced voices will play them out loud. Unless your vocals call you, the notes sing out. Let your mind clear so you can feel the beat.

Each song has heart that will continue to beat. Each star has their own performance. A moment of peace. I want the lights to dim, I'm back to day dreaming. I'll pick up the instrument to shut off the light. Guide the week away from the dark for life of love and peace so grab me a mic. All notes are like stars, The'll repeat their gaze to face the shadows.

What is your story? Mines been band all the way. Do you prefer choir or do you do both. Don't matter you have your own performance and don't be late. The sky is ready to hear your notes. Here's a tip, don't resist or tense. close your eyes and follow up with something that you'd like to pretend. I like to think of my love slow dancing with me. closing my eyes every few measures helps me get away. I'm a let these stars play music for me with the wind and tree leaves singing to me. Let the grass be it's own melody along with this river.

The only man who should be upset, is the man who never planned on finishing the job his/herself

Will anyone keep a conversation with me?
I just want to stay happy.
But I'm here singing to something filthy.
I can sing to myself.
Wonder what happens if I attempt to talk to some one else.
Hey I am here waiting for your reply.
What's going on and please don't lie.
I'm so cold and hungry.
***** this place I'm so lonely.
Some one please respond.
Maybe at least tell me what went wrong.

If everyone didn't yell, imagine all the changes. If everyone was patient and relaxed, there wouldn't be any serious trouble. If everyone tried, there would be less chance of poor common sense.

I have lots of room,
But only can stand so much.
Being angry don't solve it.
Please don't give in.
High school will someday end.
***** drama because after drama it becomes Reality.

It was my fist day, i wore a white T dark jeans, some converse. I was a freshman just wanting to look fly. before i knew it i was going around looking like a fool. By the second year my sophomore year i just wanted class too look more then fly. Things were done that i wasn't to proud of but i got my first job. by the time i was a junior i was working full time at a hotel, just not caring what my class thinks of me. All i wanted was to help i use to have tears rushing down my face saying i hate this place. Now I am a senior ready for the walk, ready to start a new life. I am scared i am happy i will miss this all. i cant tell you how your gonna turn out but whatever you do, just cherish the moments because in a blink of an eye you will be a senior. I had a lot of good and bads, laughed a lot, cried a lot. but being angry at whatever it is or being proud of an achievement is precious. you and your peers should stick together because soon enough you or your peers need to seek help or did seek help and i would rather be in debt helping someone get by rather then having them suffer alone. you don't have to help but it is more then appreciated to stick up for someone rather then walk the line with your cool or precious money or scholarship pretending it was all about you when really its all about the people around you. I am a 19 year senior class of 2015, this is to all the kids who suffered a lot and i hope for the best. just don't give up or don't choose the easy way out because the ones who suffer the most turn out to be the most successful so just be patient and things will eventually be okay.

For a change I'd fight for it. Never went the way i visioned it. My dad raised me to be independent, but he also showed his cold side. I begin to beg along with the dark where I tend to hide, I don't think I have that ounce so I am going to try to be confident.
Is this part of a life lesson? Or do I just miss a rout out? No one said it was easy, but would some one please for this last time guide me. I fell so out of luck, Been like this for a good while.
The sun would rise, still tears falling down from my eyes. what do I do now. things in my head just scream out loud. Music let me find what I need, replace the bad in my instrument. Help me avoid the bleed, then cure my attempt.
For a change I am going to have sleep as an offense, then use my lyrics as my defense. Please try me I will refuse the trash but accept defeat if it happens. Give me a smile then i can wink. Just tell me how it'll be okay because i clearly don't know what to think. All these tears begin to fade. soon it froze on my face and then Melts to my skin and won't break. I want to do good, I want to do everything i can to at least be a part of something that matters to me. For the time being all these problems shall go away, or at least guide me to my true strength to finish the rep.

S.A.D
why do you do this to me?
i get rush of tears pleading to form and drip out. i hold so much back because there isn't a reason right now. then i look back at my flaws, give me some time so i put reality at a pause. i went to go cry it off. i have no reason but it still hurts. keep me moving i don't want this to work. why must this give me chills? i have yet to learn so bring up some music and take me out of social. i would rather jam and write with nature, express it and let the tears fall from my eyeball.
Look what i almost completed, the trying was worth it wasn't it. Please S.A.D don't do this to me. i was doing okay for a second then all the sudden i lost the happiness. got the bad rush of the Sadness. kills my dream, what was i daydreaming about again? don't matter now i want it to go so my wounds don't have to open. To myself I think what happens in reality? if i showed them loneliness is more of a cavity. when i was smiling i guess it was ugly. now that i realize i do nothing but judge my body. silence for me is something that people should fear. but for the time being I'm a share this tear. has anyone ever blasted a song and felt your throat get locked up and dry then your stomach drops because the lyrics flashed you back to the agony. or made you cry till there was your wrist dripping to a dream of wanting to be happy. sometimes i can be the happiest person and in a split second of nothing I'd break in tears. A lot of times i don't know why but then over a good session i think i can get through just need to stay strong because i am alone i don't feel any help.
   when i was thinking here comes good-bye i thought see you later you don't get to see me cry. Why s.a.d just why me on this specific occasion.

Wake me up before the nightmare carries me to a non ending scene.
Take me to the life I planned always wanted to dream.
I got my dreamcatcher in my heart.
I am proud to breathe...
but get me out of something i don't want to call a bad dream.

It takes all you have to be noticed sometimes
it can be work, a sport, music, hell even just in general to "blend"
never mattered how much you bled or sweat cried
all it mattered was for you to reach your objective.
Let me tell you something about being good enough.
I never shot for my looks fame power money how i can act or how good i look when i do the so called dope thing people do now a days.
Being good enough is pain, flaws, tears, bleed once in a while, sweating, improving.
Being good enough is when you can look at your loved ones in the eye and say i gave you my all.
it is dedicating and committing to what is important all around.
you have to say ***** you with a smile on your face and be able to wink at the hate and knock it off on their ***.
who cares if you cry?
I cry like you do!
I bleed like you do!
I sweat like you do!
I love like anyone can love, i care like anyone else can care.
We all are one.
we cry, we sleep, we eat, we fight, we just need to realize gossip isn't the goal to succeed.
Being so called perfect ain't worth your time.
I was taught the real meaning of good enough.
If what i told you makes sense you my friend have experienced a true success in your life. people may not say your good enough, but if you went through and looked them in the eye with tears rushing down your face admitting you gave it full blood and tear, then you are the success. if you gave it full commitment and dedication you are the best, but if you gave up what means a lot just to accomplish whats needed and suffered through it and survived the you are Good enough. you just have to be you and fight for it all.

CLASS OF 2015 BABY WWHHHOOOAAAAA

I'm alone with this monster screaming in my face. I begin to stumble because i feel like I've been hit because i think about her name. I want it all to go back, bow i want to die  but not die at the same time. food wont stop nagging me, tears are now the new me. I can't stop and i will never give in. we belong and she just won't open. I am so empty, I am so cold, I am so hungry, I am so broken, I am so depressed, I am so much more and all the above. I can't I lost my love. She won't give it a chance. I'm alone and I don't care about my life anymore.

I am tired and I am so angry, so upset and ready to search for the word happy. You see it everywhere, now I'm alone so I cry and make sure no ones there. This breaks killing me, the tears are falling in apology. I try not to beg or plead. so instead i stare at my wrist bleed. I am so sorry baby, Please lets not fight and stop the break because you've been on my mind lately. It's all getting harder, now my tears get stronger. I did break, now I am falling in shock but my whole body starts to shake. In an instant my life flashes, the love of my life has lost a lot of feeling so now I'm making slashes. Break means we need to stop talking and spend time a part. Babe you have no idea how it hurts right now i can't even listen to my heart. Last night was slow, knowing that you're ready to let me go. I wish you can love me so lets not do this, then wipe off each others tears with a kiss. Put you back in my arms staring into your eyes. since you left as I'm sitting here trying to survive. It got so hard to not call your phone, then text and tell you I'm a enter your home. Now I'm crying, still realizing. How much longer, things got so much harder. This is a break but knowing we're not together hurts and suffocates me. Not only did I die in the inside but, now the dark is all I'm going to see.

I had the blade in front of my vein, I didn't go deep enough but it was enough of satisfying pain. As I grin with a new fresh blade, ironically it was rainbow but now filled with red  shade. skins split and I am grinning. feels so good the ******* part of me is winning.  I am running from something I turning into. this isn't me but the pain you caused me isn't compared to what I put my skin too. I am so empty, No one can help me. I may leave I may stay. I need her to talk to me but I understand so I leave it at its pace. She is in a bad place and I am at my worst. truth is I am gone and she busy so I let things work. we're split now and i had screamed out loud. I split my skin and now I am addicted to it just as I watch the blade win.

Its funny how it was the past and feels so odd and feels like time has stopped. felt like time didn't even wanna exist. Now I'm crying so i sent a kiss. Why does this have to go, I'm a hyperventilate and now my bodies cold. I take any object or challenge you throw at me. I cry a lot in pain with sorrow now in agony. This love is my all and only hope

I hate what has came, She don't look at me the same. I lost enough now losing her. I feel the cold chilling in my skin. I am so tired but tears are pouring and thinking about my veins to open. I never cut before but now it's so tempting. I've punched mirrors and walls and broken my knuckles isn't that something? I fall into the world and look upon the stars not ready to go to work. Now that the guts told me so I may have to let the replacement smirk. I hate that its a break, i hate that shed think about it this way. now that i lost my body has to shake, I left work early to avoid losing it but what was the difference now its more then a bad day. I panic and wont stop. Chest pain because the love of my life left like that now I may just walk. I am hurt and broken, Now i may have this wrist open.

Before the football game we fought, today after work i was still in tears i **** you not. She wants a break and some space. Still loves me but i may be replaced. Its funny how i wouldn't eat after she said so. the smile looked so real but i have already known. kisses were real but now it may not happen again. these wounds are not to be cured, no ones there and sooner or later i sob till i begin to slur. Tears happening non stop. all this struggle now shes gone in to a new spot. I'd smell her hair when she had laid on my chest, play with the hair and lose my breath. stunned by the beauty and remind her to shut off her lights. Put your glasses away babe you may break them and im a snap chat you kisses for good night. ( left cheek, right cheek, lips, nose nuzzles, forehead muah) these tears are not stopping and now my hearts pounding. babe please lets get back, now that your gone i eat not cuz im hungry but my heart tells me howd you feel. i keeps the lights on and my glasses on the bed because it reminds me what we had. this hurts its so real. i miss your love and miss the Joyce but i fail and drown alone in these tears. Please baby imissyou and iloveyou alottle, i promise to do  what i can and for sure i am as if right now no man. I am in TEARS and the nightmare and fear came true.