A series of die rolls
And you still ended up being you
What's the chance of that?

Where do you hide
When there's nowhere to go?
Who do you talk to
When no one wants to listen?
Surrounded by people
Yet feeling alone
Trying to be legit
Feels impossible sometimes
In a quick flash
Everything can be lost
Unforgiving is the life that waits
Karma doesn't always play fair
The pain and hurt attack the undeserving too
Sometimes the worst people make off with the best
What can be learned from that?
Patience and acceptance?
Of getting dealt the **** end of the stick?
A terrible hand in a high stakes game
Running out of gas when you're almost there
Looking for someone
But finding no one home?

Every day you **** me
Then send me to heaven

A kiss
And it starts
I feel something different with you
It changes what is inside
Makes me forget my past
Who hurt me
Their lies and abuse

I still worry
Because now I have someone to lose
I let you in
So be careful with my heart
It's fragile and doesn't need torn apart

You and I are in the same boat
Hardly lost at sea
If we work together
We can keep it afloat

Don't even bother to think
That you are in this alone
Journeys through life will take you places
Sometimes trip you up

Just keep standing back up

Being an intense person
Passionate about everything I love
Almost until it's too much to bear
Makes falling in love like flying too close to the sun

Sometimes I think
It's best
To just keep my feet on the ground for a little while
Some of us just weren't meant to fly

But flying was never really the problem
The hardest part about flying
Is the ground

Learning to land after a pummel
To fly again
Another day

If you told me today
That you wouldn't be there tomorrow
I would hold you closer
And make every moment count
I would take you into my arms and not let go
I would slow down time
To make the moments last forever
If you told me today
That you wouldn't be there tomorrow
I would fight the moon and stars
So that tomorrow would never come
I would kidnap the sun
So that today could never run
And never let it set
Our moments together would last forever

I don't need a 9 to 5
To use up all my time

Walking down the wild side
Showing what's on the inside
Just to live a little
Dancing for the moments
Instead of waiting
For that one song to play

Waiting for perfection
Will leave you with nothing
Except wasted time
Something as vivid as grey

What I see is poured into me
It's just a drink
I'm an alcoholic before my age
But there must be something better
We all ***** and complain
About no one caring
But I care about all of you
Everyone deserves a chance
Even a second chance
You can't judge at first glance
This is America
Don't give up on the true thought
That people can be free
That's Liberty
I know how that sounds but
I'm not a liberal or conservative
But solely in the middle
I'm not fickle
I know what I know
And I'm trying to share
To make purpose of the terrible things I've done
So others know it's not just about living or just having fun
It's about being a man
But what do any of us know about being a man?
I tried to learn
Even from the few men in my life
But you know what?
Most men are misconstructed
The idea of what is right
And what is life
Have been explained by many
And up for any and many misinterpretations
The interpretation is always a day late
We fight because we are designed to
But the choice is ours not to
My only other brother besides my own brother
Is a black cat with no mother
I ask the same that I would
From any brother or son
My advice goes unheeded
And is never done
Maybe one day
Someone will listen
I've changed multiple lives
Already
But get out of your train of ****
And realize and listen a little
I just want what's best for you
Because I care
Everyone is so scared
This is not what I fought for freedom for
I want us to be free
And to be let be
To be ourselves
And for that to be okay
Every ******* day

Just wanting to hear your voice
To know that you were there
And would listen when I would call
The truth was
There wasn't anyone at the other end of the line anymore
Your line had been disconnected
I never got to say goodbye
I just didn't want to hang up

I used to close my eyes
To hide me away
From the things that were scaring me
When I didn't want to listen
When there were too many things going on

I've grown and undertaken
Some real mistakes
Misjudgments
Decisions that made me judge myself

I find that nowadays
Not much has changed
From when I was a little person
At least for me, anyways

I still see a lot of good
In people
We all want the best
For our children and our favored peers

But there is all of this fighting and disagreement
A true mess
But what future do you want to have?
A place to care and love one another?
Or somewhere to distinguish and compare?

We are all in this together
If you don't realize this by now
You are lost

I keep on trying to love people

A moment to consider
The possibilities

Look at how the trees breathe
Look at how the grass blows
Listen to how the winds call

Crickets chirping
Stars shooting
Dogs howling
Cats meowing

Beckoning to be observed
Just a moment is all it takes
To notice

We give up
Before we understand what is at stake
Never giving our all
Too afraid to fall
It's safer when there's nothing to lose
Leaving shells of potential
A decision to choose
Yet a chance never taken
Wondering what went wrong
When it was ourselves
All along

I knew from the start
That nothing was going to be easy with you
I understood the risk I was taking by giving you my heart

I didn't expect much
But I did want you to be honest with me
And not play games with me
Be there for me
I wanted it to be a two-way street...at least
It was for a while and everything was great
So what we had I know was real

I realize inside that it's really neither one of our faults
Placing blame doesn't really matter anyways
I just know that I still love you and want you to be happy
You pushed me away for long enough that I have to try to move on
I've got my heart to look out for as well

That doesn't mean that my feelings have changed
Or that I don't love you anymore
I don't think that will ever be the case
Each day, you are the first
And are the last thought
That crosses my mind

I've shared your pain for a while now
I've let you take it out on me
And I've tried to be there for you
I have been there

You have to fix yourself or you will just break others

It's never easy but it could have been with you
I still love you and always will
If ever there is a day that exists
Where what I gave you is missed
Maybe we can try it out again
Your desire I cannot resist

I love her
It's just so hard to say
I love everyone a little bit
And I love her a lotta bit

I want her to know
But I don't want her to know

I want her to know
Everything
That I do love her
I do

I'm protecting her
More than myself
She's alright
She's more than alright

She's my real friend

I am confident
I am the MAN
But I feel shaken by reality
When I know my last breath
Is unpredictable

Just say it

If you could go back in time
Would you go back
And right the wrongs you made?
To **** regret before it's seeds were planted

Would you hug a person
That you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to?
To feel their embrace one last time

Would you take back a lover
That was lost because the timing was wrong?
To show them who you had become since

Would you go back
So you could plant the right seeds
That would grow into something beautiful?
To have something to admire in your old age

Would you go back
To see yourself young again
Carefree and beautiful
Without pain and full of potential?
To be reminded of the reality that person isn't gone
But only buried within you

If you could go back
What would really be worth changing?

Watching her get ready
Staring into the mirror
Putting on her makeup
And fixing her hair
The mirror knows as I know
Of them all, she is the most fair

She is more than easy on the eyes
But her real beauty
Within the temperament of her heart it lies

She leaves an emptiness in her absence
And steals the show in her presence
There are many reasons to miss her when she is gone

She is the definition of true beauty
I love her for her
And she loves me for me

You're mad at me
Because I'm not in love with you
But that takes time

I don't bow to anyone
except for one

I appreciate you and who you are as a person
But loving you still takes time
Don't judge yourself so harshly
We live in a real world
And it's time you got real with yourself

I'm flattered that you find me that lovable
But I'm not truthfully
It's very easy
To fall in love with me
But not to love me for me
That is something every potential needs to know

I realize this and do my best to be honest
But it still isn't enough to keep me
From breaking hearts

Love just doesn't come as easily for me
As it may have for you

I apologize for letting you fall in love with me
I am not worth it
Because I am in love with another

Never asking life to be easy
Knowing that everything will be tough sometimes

Being patient
And waiting and waiting

How long with this downturn
Of this rollercoaster ride take?

Waiting and waiting
Because things have to get better eventually

I keep working towards it
Doing what I feel is right

Being patient
And waiting and waiting
Telling myself tomorrow is a new day

Waking and wanting
A fresh start and another take
On this so called life

Some of us are destined for difficult lives
Because we feel pain and care
When others don't

If that is my role,
I accept it
In the meantime
I am being patient
And waiting and waiting

For tomorrow's fresh start

For all it's worth
Sometimes no matter
How hard you try
It won't be enough
The trick is to never give up
No matter how many times you fall

Do you remember
When we used to talk for hours
About nothing and everything?
Our hopes and dreams
Our triumphs and fails
Our loves and hates
We would disagree sometimes
But we always learned something
And it was fun
Until the wee hours
Sacrificing needed sleep
To listen to you
No matter the topic
Taking 10 minutes to say goodbye
Then wishing it had taken longer

You feed me lines
And I let it happen
I cling to hope
That it isn't over
I know it is
When you kiss me
And it isn't real
Out of habit
Lack of desire
Out of time
Out of fire
We tried
We failed
The heat is gone
The change we needed
Was needing to grow
We grew apart
Instead of together
A blind man can see
What we had is gone
Now we walk in separate directions
Further apart
The best is to pretend
All the magic
And laughs and love
Were just pretend
Child's play
Although just a moment
In our existence
Like it never happened

Sometimes we forget
That it isn't easy
We all judge
But we forget

Disney movies
Tell us everything should be perfect
When you want it most
It will come to you
Real life tells us otherwise

I don't expect perfection
I know we are flawed
And that is where true beauty lies
In understanding
And not judging
(Grammar helps)

Everyone hurts
There's too much pain out there
No reason to give in
Keep it in perspective

****** days
Bad times
Lame lines
Hurtful signs

Noone can hurt you
As much as you can yourself

Just dig in and know
The roots are deeper than that
Being stubborn never was so stubborn
And that's okay

Take responsibility for yours
And give cheers for others
You are not alone
If is very selfish to think that

We are here with you.
Never (again) alone

Sometimes you have to work for it
Sometimes it's just about being yourself
Someone will want that
Even if someone before, didn't

Don't give up
Don't give in
Look up to the stars
Believe
In what the heavens hand
And give

You are a true friend
And I love you with all of my heart
Through these times while you're being tested
It's not worth giving up
Over what you've invested

Never

You were broken
You told me
But I could see it

I picked you up
Told you how to stand again
After you had been knocked down
I didn't judge you because I understood

If you want to do this on  your own
You are making a mistake
There is nothing wrong
With letting someone who loves you
Help you

I am here for you, regardless

Life isn't fair
It will continue to hand us *******
This is reality

It is our perspective
What we choose to see
How we see things
That make the difference

I am happy for my time with you

If I could show you
Everything I've seen
War and from my eyes
Maybe someone would understand me

I push and I push
For understanding and patience
Yet I find the most resistance there
It is something we all need to make a part of our lives

Life is too short
To be upset
To hold grudges
To hate
To be mean

Based on that mentality
I have been walked on and over
But I won't change
It's not a fault
I am doing what needs to be done

I am a trained killer
But that doesn't mean I cannot have a little bit of patience
Sometimes
You find out what is real
When you take the time to listen

We're all just people
Our hearts aren't that different
And maybe they aren't at all

If I could show you
What it took to make me listen
And see
You most likely would

It's difficult enough just trying to trudge through this
As a "regular" man
I'm not anymore

I have a responsibility to share my experience

I am trying to show you

Ever feel like
You missed the train
To the rest of your life?

Stuck at a station
Where you've already seen
All of the sights

Wanting to travel
Away from the old
On to something new

Destination unknown
Down the line
Headed to

Opportunity will sometime hide
Watching and waiting
For that second chance
To catch the train
And ride

The sweetest revenge is to be happy without you.

All the negativity inside of you
I will never understand
You treat me with no respect
And I really try
I try
I ****** try
To be your friend
You get mad when we say you're crazy
But you never listen to ****
Even when it's ****** written down for you
No one sane would ever act this way
You've been through some ****?
Some real bad ****?
Well me too mother
And from the start
It started with you
Whatever we've been through
Whatever I or you
Have put each other through
I forgive you
I was but a child but now I am a man
This is what I want you to understand
No more disrespect
I don't have much patience left
For the only parent I've ever known
The lessons I've learned
Were not from you but my own
Life is not fair
And it never will be
Whoever or why ever
Made you expect it to be
Set you up for ****** failure
If you care and love us as much as you say
Please
Shut the **** up a little bit
Today
No one needs all that negativity
Not from you
Or me
Or anybody
I'm trying to help you out
Yet you make me want to scream and shout
I get it
I do understand
All the pain you be been put through
You haven't been able to fully recover
At the end of the day
You are still my and our mother
It's never too late
To reconciliate
But I will always be here as your son
And you, my mother

I want to fight with you,
Not against you
I will have your back,
And mine is yours
To share the weight
Out of this world

I used to dream
Of how I would feel
If I ever met the person
That saw into me

Past the pain
My baggage and troubles
My anger and frustration
Of waiting for happiness
For so ****** long

Through all the *******
Every time I had to tell myself
Keep going
Don't give up
You deserve to be happy
I still believe

I keep dreaming
And sometimes dreams come true
I know this to be fact

My ability to love someone
Is not an ability I lack

I write poems all the time
Mostly in my head
There are a lot that never come out
Little ideas and words
Bounce around always
I even see things poetically
It's taught me to recognize beauty
That was hidden before
It has brought more passion to my life
And with it, more pain
But I thoroughly enjoy
The ideas and words
That bounce around in my head
And sharing it with you

No matter the pain
We have to be able to deal with it
Be a good man and know
You are not the one

It's nothing to ruin your life
You really have to listen
We are all hurt out there
Just listen

The world will tell you
Ridiculous things
It will say that because you are a man
You are at fault
But that isn't always the truth

A heart broken
Doesn't have to make sense
Even when there's something to give
Bottom line is where to live within your heart
And begin again

Never worry when everything is out of your control
Just stand by and wait for it to happen
******* absurd
And just watch it happen

No matter how much you love someone

Every time I start to get used to
You being gone
You appear in my dreams
And remind me of what I'm missing

There was a time
I was married
And had taken vows
I was very stringent on my vows

Through everything
I always thought of my vows
Patience was something I was given
Understanding also was something I also learned

To throw it all into a nutshell
None of what I had learned
Worked, to keep it together

But, I still have those lessons I have learned
It's nice sometimes when you can see
That someone else has been through the same

Patience and understanding
Is what would take humanity to the next level
Yet
Is the most difficult thing
*Apparently

We've been worrying and stressing for so long
Just to get by
And to keep a breath
And a sandwich in our mouth
Nothing other than to just survive
The focus on surviving

We have forgotten how to live
How to love
Hug
Feel
Experience

Our lives are at the end of our cameras
I am guilty as well
But, I haven't forgotten

You wonder if our love is true
And are having doubts
This I understand
I don't blame you

It is true however
That love is terrifying
And the things that die inside
When it doesn't work
Sometimes never come back

I am also frightened
Of being hurt again
It took much courage
To take a chance with you
I am not privy
To what the future may hold
I didn't know what to say to you
So I wrote it in a poem

I know that we have something special
If we nourish it
It will grow
But I cannot force you to love me
Nor would I if I could

I care for you and am here for you
Anything worth having
Is worth fighting for
And the risk that comes with that
I think is worth taking
But that's just my point of view

Whenever I think I'm away from it
I realize I'm more into it
A matter of knowing
When I'd rather not
Once you become privy to the subtleties of life
They are never subtle again
No matter how much we wish they were
We try and we try
To hide the truths
By hiding them in the open
And then deny them once we're caught
When
The whole time
We first need to be honest with ourselves
No matter where we come from
Or who or what we are
You cannot deny the truth
Of existence and yourself

Know that you are stardust
Infinity resides within you
Of all the possibilities
You became you
Unique as the stars
The question of existence
Answered purely by existing
The quest of stardust
To become sentient
To become you

If you were a clock
I should like to wind you up
And listen to each beautiful tick
We would depend on each other
To reach our potential
You give me a reason
To get up in the morning
And without hesitation
I would keep you going

You are convinced
You've made your escape
As far away from midnight you can get
Continuing on and on
In the hopes that you can hide from the inevitable
You can't stop time
Avoiding the reality is an insatiable quest
The more you try to escape it
The more you will become lost
Unable to find your way back
To yourself
The darkness will come and it's unavoidable
Stop running and let it happen
The more you fight it
The more people are going to get hurt
You've gotta stop to let yourself heal
Move on
The road you took led you here
Accept that
And quit punishing yourself

Sometimes
We get through our Mondays
By wishing for Friday

Oh how we fight to believe
In the things we cannot see
Yet deny our feelings
And fight the truth
Ignore the obvious
Placed right in front of us

We fight to admit
Who we truly are
Or what it is that
Makes us truly happy
Some live their entire lives
Without ever actually living

It takes more than eyes to see

What's the point of being,
If you can't be yourself?

I sat and wondered
About what was happening
All around me

The idea
That maybe it was all just a joke
I giggled to myself at the concept

Trying to grasp a trick
On such a cosmic scale

It's easy to say
Get along
Get over it
Don't be upset
Tomorrow is a new day

It's nice to be told these things
When it's not small talk
When you know someone
Actually means it

It's difficult to understand
When we don't even understand
What is happening
And we're broken

It is so easy to push those away
That are telling us the truths
We don't want to hear
It's a seed that grows into reality
Don't set yourself up
To be told
"I told you so"

Believing in something unbelievable
Is what has pushed the world to this point
We are at a standoff now
Because we believe in different things

But, it remains the same

It's not that hard to get along
And most of us do
The media wants to tell us otherwise
But they play to the fool

If you add to the hate,
You are only a tool
We are built together from the ground up
Yet, we fight
From how we see the skies above