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With Gaia as my mother
and some spirits as my guides
I have no worries.
They'll be with me forever
even when I die.
YOUR
The
Knife
Never
Ignorant
Fu*ker
Evil
  that struck through
   My heart
       It keeps bleeding but
   I cant tell that
 Mar 2015 Nathan Cross
Hands
empty buses rolled on down
the busy downtown street--
faceless figures flying by
that have no time to meet.
shifting, swerving, shapeless shadows
and a muffled shuffling of feet.
I wonder if they ever wonder
about intimacy with me.
I keep on tracking every bus
that passes through the sleet,
but angry beeping, noxious fumes
and that harsh thumping beat
keeps me still and keeps me silent--
motionless in my seat.
nervous glances, twitchy fingers
and a tippy tap of feet
makes me asks myself in silence
if I should get something to eat.
jagged cracks sound through the air
as verbal tacks pin here and there
and spoken word and shouting, too
all the noises the humans like to do.
The high-pitched whining;
the deep, low rattling;
the stark, empty sighing;
the unguided battling
all of these condensed into one
with more added in for added fun.
Disconnect--
the neural wires unlock and retract
as vine-like growths along the spine
come undone across the back;
cure it with wine,
cure it with liquor,
a tonic make it quicker.
smoke a little grass and ****
chew a little on a seed,
take the stem between your lips
and snap it right in two--
Let it stand,
a monument to the experiences
wrongly cut before completion.

a crook in the neck and
a creek out back,
behind the lines of grass
and stately shapes of trees
with blades of wild oats and wheat
stretching all the way up the knee.
the pretty kind of loveliness
across the flower's face,
the dull, ignored cruelty
of symmetry and grace
all coalesce in me tonight
all pile up bit by bit inside my bones
all collect in gasps and sighs and tiny moans
all create in me a tiny pile waiting to be set alight
give me panic give me terror give me dread and fright and
might
it might come alive and on fire
burning the backs of my soles
making me restlessly wired.
plugging me in and powering me up
they wanted a show so i had to grow
they wanted to see my cute little pout
and so they sought and shook me out
from my voided, unknown cave
to have me put upon the collective
a hidden ornament on the human race--
I need to leave, to flee, to run
and never wonder why
if leaving were so important then
why didn't I simply fly?
fly?
fly?
no flight for birds of plastic wings
and a body made of artificial things:

concrete, plaster, bits of brick, glass
and the darkest, densest mass
rise into the air above
as gas clouds they float on up
into the darkening sky
covered by cowardly clouds
too afraid to fly
Disconnect--
dial tone sounds and it becomes clear
there was never anything to connect
Let me tell you something.
Something which may seem
Difficult to digest
Or counter-intuitive.
Your enemies are your best friends.
You must be wondering
What the hell?
But seriously your enemies are your best friends.
No one helps you more than your enemies.
They think of you better than anyone.  
By being on lookout for
Your slips and weaknesses,
They always keep you focused-
Always at your toes.
They help your realize your true potential.
They bring out the best of you.
They never let you dawdle.
They never deceive you
Or blandish you.
They reveal your loyalties.
Above all
Nothing beats the pleasure of
Beating your enemies.
Don’t all these make them your best friends?
 Mar 2015 Nathan Cross
B
Fall in love with the way his voice shakes when he tells you he's scared to lose you
Fall in love with the way he smiles when you kiss his cheek while he's trying to sleep
Fall in love with the way he gives you goosebumps when he whispers sweet nothings in your ear
Fall in love with the way his fists clench when he gets frustrated because he can't explain how much you mean to him
Fall in love with how his breath fills your mouth when he kisses you so deep it feels like your lungs have melted away
Fall in love with how his eyes fill with tears when he knows that he hurt
you
Fall in love with every part of him


B.S.
First time Xanax I tried that **** today, getting a little personal but who cares this is my page. Took that Xanax now my body feeling extra numb, can't even really get up to eat because Like I said I'm feeling numb lol.
anyway i'm not a druggy just like to explore, I'll never turn to crack or heroine that ***** a killer; not trying to meet up with the undertaker. Just trying to have a little fun, feeling beyond this world rising higher than the sun. It's 3am in the morning as eminem states it, the pill was given to me was not going to waste it.
I just know that before and if I do this again, my stomach will be full instead of starving because this **** is not make pretend.
I'm far from a softie jus not used to this type of drug, first time Xanax makes me feel like a trippy slug *.
Trippy ****
 Mar 2015 Nathan Cross
Dreamer
Where you can perfect the art of being
absolutely and ridiculously lazy.

I mean, is it not? ;)
In the hollow depths of my skull,
As my emptyness rocks side to side,
All I can grasp onto is my despair,
Its so heavy yet its the only thing left to keep me from drifting.
Wave after crimson wave
My anchor
My despair.
Sometimes you want to give up & have no good reason not to. But a voice says no, always no.
Breathing out
In order to breathe in
I know nothing's wrong
But I'm not convinced
I can't let it out
And just let it happen again
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