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 Mar 2015 Nathan Cross
Aspen
i don't know what to do
i've forced myself to hide
from commitment and
push away the thought
of love and i can't even
make myself feel worthy
of a relationship anymore
god help me i wish i could
fix what i've done but the
damage is too great
 Mar 2015 Nathan Cross
Aspen
i've got friends and they
follow me around and
they whisper secrets
in my ears but they
mostly just make
me cry and hide
and i can't see
them very well
but i know they're
there and sometimes
i wish i could shake
them off my back but
i know i'm not strong
enough and their names
are Loneliness, Self-Doubt,
and Hopelessness and they
wanted to play today but
i couldn't find Confidence
 Mar 2015 Nathan Cross
Aspen
i guess
 Mar 2015 Nathan Cross
Aspen
recently i've been falling apart
more often than not and i've
been saying i'm fine when i
feel like i'm slowly but surely
deteriorating and i've been
telling people i'm better even
though i know that's a lie but
maybe if i say it enough i'll
start to believe it
god i hope so
PASSIONATE DREAMS


                As I lay back in the deep darkness, my thoughts of you appear realistic.  My arms embrace you tightly and I take my first taste of your lips.  Your beauty, even in the dark, amazes me and lightens the room.  I squeeze you tighter and bring you a little closer.  Undress you slowly, as you relax yet you are very excited.  I kiss you on each part that is exposed, in time you’ll be covered with love juices.  You undress me with an excited yet patient way.  I look into your eyes and lose myself in your beauty.  You softly lay on your back, the bed lowers as I lay beside you.  I kiss you on the cheek as you roll on top of me.  Feelings from inside me causes me to rise physically without thought.  You place me inside your love; as I start to massage your insides.  As your body moves up and down on my body, I come closer to ecstasy.  You get off me and then lay your head on my pillow.  But there’s no reason to rush, so I start from your feet.  Move up to your waist and I begin to tongue kiss you softly.  Involuntarily, you let loose a stream to show all of your approval.  Slowly, I approach your ******* and your ******* become *****.  Your body screams, as I fulfill your wildest fantasy.  I calm your nerves, yet your body still squirms.  Eager to receive more pleasure, my back arches in a muscular way.  Thrusting myself into your spot of happiness, giving you 100% of me.  For hours, we repeat this procedure and finally we both ******.  As you and I rest on our backs, we just talk and relax.  And then awake, happy, but yet I’m still depressed because only I can love you privately.  My thoughts of you lasts forever.  Whenever I see you, I stare in a daze amazed because of your beauty.  I just want to embrace you tightly and turn this nightly dream into reality.
When I hear your voice I smile, when I see you I frown
When I talk to you I sadden, receiving a feeling of let down
Trusted a stranger with my heart and that stranger left town.

I remember our first encounter you probably saw just another soul
But I saw love, in that split second my heart went to warm from cold
The electricity I had in me didn’t connect to you so I overflowed.

With my emotions dangling, strangling each other to shine
Only a temporary sign of a hopeful incline which declined
I’m possessive, I won’t stress it, but I wanted you to be mine.

If I’m mistaking cause of my shyness, please go ahead and try this
When our eyes first met, I saw a love which was lifeless
Only my belief, I’m hoping I’m wrong despite this.

If my past words are mutual please inform immediately
I would hate to be beaten by my own reactions done timidly
Hating for these days of loveless ways to be my memory.

But if I’m correct, don’t change now that you know the truth
I’ll stay the same, outlast the pain, and whatever that produce
Living life with my heart inside of a noose.

So now that it’s revealed I believe I shall dry my tears
Put away my fears, and walk to you with open ears
Whether yes or no, I’ll know the answer to my childhood years.

When I hear your voice I smile, when I see you I frown
When I talk to you I sadden, receiving a feeling of let down
Trusted a stranger with my heart, and that stranger left town.
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