You can't change me
I was born like this
This is how it was meant to be

I didn't choose to be this way
It always was a part of me
And this is how it will stay

I was born in may
And since this day
I knew that I was gay

The Watershed

There was a time when 45, I thought life had passed me by
I had spent too much time seeing the night train leave.
Through the rain, soaked train windows saw people reading
some looked into space and there were those who tried
not to cry. My friends had drifted away and my old mate
Trond had found God and to think we sat all night long
talking about books and in the morning we went out in his
boat fishing drinking cold beer and falling asleep as spring
the sun danced on the blue water in the fjord and wind from
the dark mountain didn’t blow.

The best women too lost patience and took the tram home
to mum and dad waiting for you to grow up.
At 45, your parents begin dying the impossible happens and
you are a floating iceberg lost in a glass of whisky.
And just as wheels on suitcases are invented you grow up
polish you shoes and find that little cabin in a hidden valley
it has a leaking roof and has been waiting just for you.

Summer Remembered.
It is odd in a country where winter last 8 months is it spring and summer
we remember and there were not too many of the good days either.
We took a ferry boat to a small Island for bathing now it is connected to
a bridge and parking spots take up the most land. Mother liked to go
there on Sundays she enjoyed the water, she swam like a seal and floated
like a wine cork thrown from a yacht, I was waddling in shallow water
collecting shiny objects that had the ability to lose its gloss when we came
home. My mother divorced at the time her lover was the ferryboat skipper
I think he wore uniform, it is jeans now for everyone and anyway with
a bridge who needs a boat, but they did go on camping holiday together and
I looked after myself. Mother loved him and he wanted to marry her but didn’t
want me it was silly of him to ask a mother will always choose her children.
Anyway it was winter approaching and Norway sleeps like the brown bear for
eight months if not going to boring places like Ibiza back then.

words in my mouth

Democracy
is like poetry
only nice
when it flatters us  


French culture
is about the female believing
she is beautiful


Perfume
even the expensive one
is not about cleanliness

the Louvre
had everything
except a proper loo

Small hotel in Paris
hot water for shower
only on Saturdays

The Last convict
I sit in the front yard it has a high fence that
make the privacy intense I have created
a prison and now it is too late.
I see the top of a Cypress it looks like
a Christmas tree blowing in a bad tempered
Nordic wind. I think I will go to Norway this
year, mother died at that time and I hope it
will snow, overcast and rain make me sad in
a way that is morbid. I will bring her flowers
and I will cry, she was a lousy housewife but
a great mother.  In the chair next to me sits
loneliness and says: so this was your dream
to flee, find freedom yet shackled to the past.
You will die alone not as a whisper in the wind
and you will not be on the plane going north

Love Sonnet
This afternoon at the local grocer I had bought a bottle of beer
and a tin of tuna fish and I meet the daughter of the woman
I had been in love with, I had never seen her before and said
halloo like she knew me and she was as lovely as her mother
was. Her mother came and I said something flattering, they both
smiled knowingly, you can't fool a woman about love. I'm sure
her mother had told her daughter of my trips to the post office
where she worked t the time. And they have been laughing, not of
derision, but by my inability to express my love openly.

I'm telling this because when I came from hospital in December
after collapsing and had been given a pacemaker and the onset of
the shingles I was in despair both physically and mentally and
I said if I had died I would have no knowledge about this tristesse
My wife cried and I promised not to speak thus again and I would
not met the daughter of the woman I loved

Love is Odd.

She is in the kitchen cooking something for tomorrow
I do not criticise what she is doing
when I did she shouted like a tempest and silenced me.
we spoke and I promised not to make any comment on
her frequent use of the washing machine and I promised
when peeing in the night to keep the stream in the ***
which is not easy three in the morning?

My wife went to see a doctor today, and she has seen
many but I made no sarcastic remarks, she has exhausted
all the doctors in our town and the net widens.
Love you see it tolerate your partner's obsession and
dutifully listen to her symptoms. I do this without shouting
although a ****** helps