Daddy found the website.
He asked me what it was.
I told him that I didn't know.
I'd never seen it before.
Sweet lies rolling off my tongue so my secrets wouldn't be poured out like sour milk.
So that's why now I've changed my name.
I'm still the same writer, same person, same girl.
I'm just full of hidden damage.
I've been torn apart by this world

I really wish you would have been there.
I wonder if it would have made you proud.
To see me back finally starting again.
I wish you could have seen me finally make my free throws.
I wanted you to see the look in my eyes when I made my layups.
Everytime I did something good,
I found myself looking into the crowd for your approval.
Only to find no one.
I'm not going to lie and say I didn't have a good weekend.
I played well.
I scored.
Got tons of minutes.
I can honestly say I feel like I left it all on the floor.
But there is one thing that could have made this weekend better;
you.
I know you didn't even have importanat plans either.
You were just dinkering around in the yard and going to the bar.
Couldn't you just take one weekend for me?
I just want to show you that I'm worth it.
That I can do it.
I want to prove to you that this isn't just a waste of your money.
I want so badly to make you proud.
*But I can't do that if you're not there.

Insomnia, always
The bewitched course of unending nights
Bitter nights swallowed in haste
I only want the comfort
Of the nest of arms to carry me
Through the tides of terror
That rise and ebb in the dark
I only want to be held
So I can endure the dreams of oblivion