everything abstract
it so absurd
its above the earth but below the dirt
beyond a simple word
dont know what you heard

i cant fake a smile
nothings worth it
i know theres not an answer
im still searching
you so fake deep you aint even
scratched the surface
what the **** is money its just matter
its so worthless

no script
i pull up and splatter paint like jackson pollack
urges surges got me shaking like a alcoholic
this is not a pipe change your knowledge
its symbolic
make a symbol outta nonsense
i feel like a prophet
passed out
feel the carpet on my cheek
a second feel like a week
a year feel like a day now

i turned my self from normal to a freak
think before i speak
i bite my tongue and grind my teeth
i bring her joy then make her weep
smoke then fall asleep
its all a dream

down the wayward way come follow me
mask ontop of masks everyday is halloween
its all a dream thats all i need
its all i see its all it will ever be

inspiration got the best of me
im the best youve ever seen
but you need to see the rest of me
without this flesh im free
in this flesh i see it like a human would
i struggle just to say what a normal human would

artists feel catharsis
i let the picture paint it self
color rays they say how i felt
i played the hand that i was dealt
and let the rest fade to gray
then fade to black

I'm geeked, my keep vision glitching
So high,
Never really made a difference,
Cant speak.

No words,
We chasing that essence
I appear in a vision,
Like a Saint to a peasant,
Make you see heaven,
it feels like there's Heaven on Earth.

Open my eyes from black,
I'm Back!

Modern day, got this Modern pain, i get Modern paid,
I need to stay present,
I reach for a dream but dreams effervescent
I feel its in motion
Emotion my brain it turns into goo
The Press, Express!
The spark ever present
At the bank of the pond,
I wont cling to the shore I'm swinging Beyond.

I SEE

I am what I do but what am I doing,
Drew into fluid a druid keep moving
Sirens sound soothing when you lost all your hope
Look at the sky while i slide down the *****

What is God doing to me?
Soul like the wind, all of this movement in me
It drew you to me and its pushing you back
Face of the past its a mask I keep on regluing
I'm chose in the picture I'm mewing.

Eyes so vacant I'm gone like a model
Locked on the bottle
Venom like hiss i kiss death rattle
Gotta keep my nose up
Look up up up and away from the rabble
They cattle, they search for the shade on a sunlit day
She saved me its a debt i can never repay
I can fade away any day, just know its okay.

It’s not real (Why)
it’s all in my head
But in my head
it is all so painfully real.

How do I know how to feel?
I try not to dwell,
But the bubble keeps swelling and swelling
In my chest in my heart.
Im sailing but there isn’t a sail,
Im drowning in air,
Climbing a staircase winding
upside down
But yet I don’t fall…how?

I try to take in my surroundings,
I reach out to touch
And my fingers make contact,
An electric shock travels my nerves
An image forms
A sound I didn’t hear,
A sight I couldn’t see,
A voice I recognize
But only through associations
Never ending vibrations.

It’s all unraveling me
Im stuck in a senseless sea
Yet the waves keep hitting
the hull of my ship
Hauntingly rhythmically.

Ah, once more a day in vacant rays
A webbed window, cracked gently to let the breeze by.
Through,
a minute an hour,
a bee lands on a flower
succumbing to desire,
a move with a purpose
It’s assuredness I admit breaks a chunk from my confidence

What is what isn’t what could what couldn’t
Is of no concern to a bee, imagine how free that would be
A beetle crawling up the bark of a tree,
Oh, just for an instant
I wish I could see the life that you see!

The wind felt different on my neck today,
Slightly colder, unfamiliar,
It was not a feeling I was used to.

But this breeze hasn’t changed at all
There was a spark on the nerves of the cuticles where hair stands ensnaired there had sounds of foundation rock breaking and cracking a lump of clay stepping out of the mold under its own power it’s own fruition at first its unseemly bordering on crude then your curiosity strikes like what will this lump of clay do? will he crash off the table damp too much water tear himself in two brand new asunder asunder asunder I see a rock we have to peek under I have to keep searching but my search has all been for naught but then again looking on those days in the rays I couldn’t wait to find shade is this really the only way yes she says with a sigh so I position my head so my eyes meet sky i guess it’s time to retry so here I go again and again and again and again and again so many times I’ve tried to take flight and sometimes I can’t be but filled with spite but I know The Wheel she spins goes back and goes forth
So it’s on to the next and the next and the next this life is only a quest but that is only a guess

When is when is when is
The next moment I will stand on this shore, looking out into the bay?
Who will I be and how will I see this same scene then?

How will I see again, the morning rising illuminating the tide, it’s misted glow refracting in all directions?

How will I hear again, the gull’s cry, a higher song hovering over the soft sway of the water, it’s lapping connection to the shore, gone now but always on its reverberating journey back?

How will the water feel on my feet, in early spring and then in ebbing twilight? Will I stand strong and blooming, or will I hunch and wither in decay, in memories of a long forgotten brighter day?

Will the salt spray still fill my nose, will its memory be etched in me always?

There is no sure way to know, no sure path we can follow, I say to myself.
When I return I will be him and he will have came from me, formed in the bubbling foam of my memories of this swaying sea.
But in my melancholy daze upon departure,
a vision appears to me as if a dream:

“Be gone!”
A mirage of the goddess Brizo comes to me, sitting alone in a galley bobbing along with the waves.
“Be gone! Hold not your journey in contempt, be scared not of the changing tides!
You have your vessel as I have mine, the sea is strong but not impassible!
Adjust your sails, redirect your mind, the wisdom of the sea follows, to any height you can climb!
The power is you, shed light on what you know to be true, look in the water and be calmed, know that you are you!

Be gone! Go from me, away from this fading part of your journey,
There is still much of the world to see!
Do not linger, do not hesitate,
Do not be contented, with a hazy view of the sea from your seat on the shore!”

Dance on wind,
Elope with sky.
Breathe in mind,
Unfold, open
as the gulls fly.

Coastal breeze,
I close my eyes
Feel the cool on my face,
Untether, let it take me where it may
With a smile sprouting upon each gust.