Nadia DeLevea

Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013

Love*
It's when you run up your three step porch,
Throw open the door,
And yell out, "I'm home!"
Love
It's when an eight year old comes running,
So excited to see you,
She's calling out your name.
Love
It's the feeling you get,
Causing you to drop to your knees,
Eye level, at her height.
Love
It's embarrassing her,
Holding her tightly in your arms.
Love
It's what you feel,
When she whispers, "I missed you so much!"
Love
It's why you never want to let go,
Let go of the precious little girl.
That's what love is,
It's simple, yet divine.
It's a passion for another person,
It's why you always put them first.
They're the reason you keep on living,
The reason you couldn't live without.

What Is Love?™ By Nadia DeLevea

Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013

The Picture With Her...

Silent tears stream down my face,
As I look across the room.
You're smiling at her,
She's smiling at you.
I've been forgotten so soon.
And I only have one question...
What happened?
When was I dismissed?
We used to be so happy.
We used to live carefree.
Everyday together,
Laughing, smiling, joking,
Our hearts together were at ease.
Was it that easy to forget me?
Her I want to hate,
She's ruined my whole life.
You're all I've ever wanted,
You make my life complete.
I don't know where she came from,
But she swept you off your feet.
To me you've become blind,
She's made you push me to the side.
It hurts more than a sudden death,
Because we were so close.
The slow torture that you're causing me,
You're choking at my throat.
I've cried more because of you,
Than anyone before.
So many times I've run to my room,
And collapsed inside my door.
Impressions of my tears,
stained forever in my face.
My heart is in distress,
My breath a rapid pace.
I can't listen about her,
A single second more!
Why can't I be the one,
Your heart desires for?
You've stuck me in the friend-zone,
Because you care to much...
That statement has confused me so,
It makes me think uncertainly,
You care for me to much,
You'd rather hurt her than me.
Shouldn't that open up your stupid eyes,
To never let me go?
And now every time I see her,
I want to be enraged.
To claw her big brown eyes out,
Before you get engaged.
But then I look at you and see,
The smile that she brings.
It kills me more and more,
To see her in your life.
You don't think I understand,
Or don't see how much I care.
That I know you all too well.
One day she's gonna brake your heart,
And when you come to me,
I don't know if I'll be able to pick up the pieces,
And help you to your feet.
I doubt I'll still be around,
I can't take this agony much longer.
To see her take my place,
Reminds me what I could have had.
Today I saw a picture of you,
Her wrapped in your arms.
In that warm loving hug I've felt,
The one I know is yours.
The hug that saved my life,
The hug that told me I'm special,
And just how much you cared.
But you broke my heart today,
I'm shattered and destroyed.
For when I looked at your smiles,
I think I may have died.

Written through my tears after seeing a picture posted online...

The Picture With Her...™ By Nadia DeLevea

Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013

Class

Sitting, sitting, siting...
It's only been two minutes.
I swear it's been fifteen.
I'm cold.
I'm tired.
Tired of sitting.
Still sitting.
Two more minutes...
Still sitting.
I may be here forever.
I'm getting restless.
Why is the clock so slow?
Sitting, sitting, sitting.
Still sitting.
Two more minutes,
Now it's been eight...
Shouldn't class have ended by now?
Hasn't the time been more than enough?
It will be a miracle to make it through this.
Sitting some more.
Three minutes this time.
I can't help but look at the evil clock.
I tell myself to quit,
But I look again.
Ten minutes creep by.
I swear it was forty-five.
Two more minutes...
There's only seven more.
Still sitting, sitting, sitting.
I can't take much more.
I've been sitting my life away.
Just sitting here.
Five more to go.
I'm cold.
I'm tired.
I'm hungry.
I'm dying...
All I want is to go home.
Away from this torture chamber that is my class.
Time must have slowed down further.
I was unaware that time was capable of slowing down this much.
I keep on sitting through it.
Sitting, sitting, sitting some more.
Two minutes,
It feels like fifty.
Only one more to go.
I'll never make it.
Class dismissed,
I run for my life.
But I'll be back tomorrow.
Back to sit some more.

Class™ By Nadia DeLevea

Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013

Melody of My Torn Heart

It is dark,
I cannot see.
You've left your mark,
But it's only me.

You didn't have to knock me down.
I hadn't built myself up high.
My face is frozen in a frown,
I've fallen so low I can't even try.

You've broken me hard,
I can't hardly breath.
Now my life forever on guard,
How could you be so rude to tease?

All I want to do is cry,
The safe sound of music is all I can bear.
My life is swiftly flying by,
For my heart your evil so did tear.

Melody of My Torn Heart™ By Nadia DeLevea

Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013

Toy on the Shelf

I feel like a child's favorite toy.
The one thrown against a wall pretending it can fly.
The one whose button is pushed over and over to hear it's sound,
Until it can't talk anymore, hardly able to make a sound.
The toy cuddled and smashed under their small body every night.
"Protecting" them from the monsters under the bed.
The favorite toy they hold by the arm,
They drag it behind them wearing it out until the arm may fall off.
The one that is *****, but you can tell it was loved.
The toy that sits alone on a shelf for years on end.
Who collects dust untouched because the child has grown.
The one who has no purpose but to make people smile.
The toy that is so used and abused they say it has "character".
The toy no new child wants because it to worn.
They don't want it for it can't last much longer.
It needs new batteries, and a trip through the wash.
It needs to be stitched up in more places than one.
The toy that no longer has a purpose,
But that only makes it need more love.
Someone to love itself.
But who could love something so worn and mangled.
So it sits alone on that shelf.
Collecting dust, unseen, unrecognized.
I am that toy.
The one with no purpose.
The one on the shelf.
Unseen, unrecognized, unloved.

Toy on the Shelf™ By Nadia DeLevea

Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013

Denlive

It is so very dark,
On the world I've left my mark.
I am so done,
I just want to run.
I'm sitting all alone,
Def to every single tone.
Prone to wander,
I can't live much longer.
Let's put it all aside,
For I don't want to hide.
Trying to be myself,
I don't need money and wealth.
I have all that I need,
The world is who I want to feed.
I will use my pain,
Why not feel the rain.
My anger will I use,
No longer want to feel the blues.
Just want to forget it all,
My list of troubles stands quite tall.
My scars are so deep,
That I cannot even sleep.
But I will not stop trying,
Even though I am crying.
I'll try till I'm dying,
And no, I am not lying.

Written a year ago in while I was in class.

Denlive™ By Nadia DeLevea

Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013

Love After

Roses are red, violets are blue.
I never would have guessed how much I'd miss you.
     With every summer day that's passed,
I prayed our love would always last.
     Every memory that we share,
I hope does show you how I still care.
     I miss the sound of your voice,
But I know that leaving was my choice.
     You still make me smile,
Everyday and all the while.
     I'll never forget all our laughter,
Even now all these months after.
     I just want you to know,
My heart has sunk to an all time low.
     I'll never stop loving you,
Even after deaths gates I've gone through.

Love After™ By Nadia DeLevea