Paint the night sky with twinkling stars, distant from one another but collectively emitting a spectacular glow;
Paint the spun ivory clouds across the interminable blue, watching the softness suffocate sunlight streaming below;
Paint your frayed chocolate braids beside curved, smiling full lips in the middle of a vivid, adorned cottage;
Paint the passionate red of blood that stains our hands as they clasp together like imperfect puzzle pieces, and the jagged breathing that fogs the dusk;
Paint yourself where you are loved--
Paint yourself with me.

dress torn
underwear ripped
knees forced open
loud sobs fill the room
"shut the **** up"
she stills
begging to a god she didn't know she believed in to end it all
grunts and groaning
its over
"later babe"
she leaves behind ****** sheets, her cellphone, and a *piece of herself

she doesn't do it for you
she doesn't wake up for you
she doesn't paint her lips for you
or add that sparkle to her eye for you
she is the sun
she is the moon
she is the Stars
and she does it all for herself

Does my soul shine with light
Or does it hide deep in the night

My fear ever growing
With my mind not knowing

What will my judges say
Was I night or was I day

Can my mark of death be reversed
Or am I doomed to die cursed

Can I ever be truly saved
If to the darkness I'm enslaved.

misty eyes and blurry skies
my mind is in knots
i'm lost
the lines blur together
i can't tell which side is which
i just want to get out
i just want to get better

It was a few days ago
The last time you touched my hair
I ignored it and told myself
"Doesn't really matter"

My grades were failing
I was not able to cope up
Prom was nearing
And no boy nor friends came up

Those were dark days Gran
I can barely recognize who I am
You told me that everything will get better
You told me I'm stronger than Mom

I can still remember
The last sweater you knitted
The last movie we watched
The last food you heated

You were there for me
When my friends left
When Luke and I broke up
The night I cried, you sang and I slept

Those were the good in the bad Gran
But now, you have to go
And I was not there for you
I was busy with myself, I did not know

I came home with the usual routine
Called you while the house is still dark
No answer
I placed my shoes under the rack

I saw you
On the floor
Sleeping
For what seems like forever

I think that was the first time
I got worried about you
It is also the last time
I would ever be able to

You stayed in the hospital for weeks
I went to school because I need to pass
Focusing was a hard task
I should be by your side, I must

The skies were gray above the sea of black
Everyone was crying
Saying "she was the nicest"
"You were lucky to have her when she was still breathing"

I took you for granted
I never appreciated the small things you did
I was always looking for something far away
When all this time, you were all that I needed

In this house, I'm haunted by memories of you
Cooking, cleaning, knitting, watching
The feeling never abandoned me
Constantly there, reminding

That I should treat everything like it would be the last

Cherish moments while we're alive

Because once we stop breathing, we will become a memory

And we can never bring it back

I miss you Gran

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