I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.

At the wake of morning day
I’m guided far away
Amongst the overgrown gardens and trees
On an endless path to be

Faintest scents of herbs and tea
Scurrying friends chattering beside me
Rising sun dew brushing my fingertips
Alone along forests gaze

miss the windy nights
walking in the dark

you're were so close
so far away

I wasn't fast enough
can't match your pace

you always walked ahead

wait for me
I'll be ahead soon

I'll catch up

we can run together
somewhere they can't see us

go wild
get drunk

I want to buy the night sky
you can have what's mine

Everyone hears you.
Not everyone listens to you.