I wish I could look inside my heart
to know if I love you at all

any amount I can trace
to erase

you say you're going to sleep
but your lights are still on

the lights are still on

police cars are outside
we're a little scared they're here for us

I bet
he feels so smug
up in heaven

it doesn't feel right
I bet he likes that

we're avoiding eachother
I don't tell you anything

just give me nothing
like always

I have to do everything
I used to love you so so much

I don't know you anymore
where's the nice guy I met years ago

none of my friends care about what I want to say
about what I have to say

now I'm overthinking
I don't want to be annoying

pushed away
or do I keep pulling

I'm kinda sick
but that doesn't matter

we don't ask eachother

are we doing okay
we're just standing around

waiting to see who makes the first sound


it kinda hurts

this is the best we can be

this is so so close


ask me what time I went to sleep


I saw you awake
hearing your favorite song

are you still hearing your favorite band of joy
sorry you're parents are homophobic

I don't know when we'll ever talk again
wish I could see you this weekend

hate that you're going through this
I hope you listen to this song

I still love you
I hope you know that

I know you'll be okay
it'll be all be okay one day not so far

sorry your family has a million misunderstandings

about me
about you
about her

I wish you the best
no more hurt
no more sadness

I hope you're growing

spring will come

you will
come back to life

how will I forget this
losing my best friend
now everyone thinks I'm the villain
I really don't care
it only hurts to know someone more
stabbing me
in the back
filled with lies and blind confusion

I'm a sociopath
I don't understand emotions

well I never had them in the first place

I think of nothing
no one
but myself

very unfortunate

my friend almost died
well it doesn't matter
she's still alive

what am I supposed to feel
is there something I should feel

well I had it bad
but it doesn't matter

maybe I'm so numb
I'd like to treat some people like gum

if everyone is fake
so am I

I'm a lot of things
I'm a liar

carefully
stabbing someone in the back

all to my advantage
I keep everyone's dark secrets close by

feels good to know
I can destroy them in a flash

it's in the middle
of chaos I feel most safe

I love destruction
I love the way people crumble and fall

is this how we drift away

again
here we go again

will we lose each other
again
and again

how many times do I have reach out

we're slipping away

they're pulling away

we're making other friends
everyone is moving on

I can't find the words to make them stay anymore

can we make this work