I ask you to send me a song,
Like you did two years ago
The lyrics that once flattered me
Now pumps my heartbeat slow
You tell me you do not understand,
"How can I send you a song?" You ask,
I guess you do not seem to remember
How you impressed me in the past
Sure, spend and buy me a new bow,
I'm grateful but money cannot buy my love
My love, I feel it deepening in my chest,
This black and empty hole.

Where have you gone?
Have you slipped from my veins?
Have you run away, hiding,
to streets with unknown names?
Have you marked a pin on your map,
and set your compass true?
Have you mastered the game plan,
of how I intend to get to you?
You were once my ink, my charcoal, my paint
now the turpentine, the bleach that washes it all away
I've stayed up looking for you,
tossing and turning in my thoughts
my creativity is a long lost friend,
a battle I've always fought.

I do not understand the reason,
you came into my life with its changing seasons
Twisting and conforming,
you are my love in a past life
Yet this is the life I'm living,
and I am in love with him
Yet your presence is that of a light bulb in a world growing dim
I like to imagine we once lived
in a small flat in Ireland
Your golf hat remained on the top of your head
and we were married, hand in hand
Two souls reunited,
but now strictly apart
I'd like to say we're still the same
in the Ireland of our hearts
Ben Howard is playing in the distance,
do you remember when you showed me his songs?
Two souls distanced,
an instinct that tells me I'm wrong.

Don't tell me to just listen
when I've already listened enough
Don't tell me to just smile
when I'm already acting tough
Don't tell me to stop crying
and to rub the tears away
Don't tell me that it'll be alright
just to deal with my emotions for one less day
I didn't tell you just to listen,
when you were sad and spoke your mind
When words were pouring out of your mouth
I opened my ears and my eyes
Listening and speaking; it is a bittersweet gold
Our mind only lets us speak what others' hearts can only hold.

It's been a while
And I've grown quite numb
To the opinions of my peers
And the attributes would succumb
Only to settle on happiness or joy
Why must a girl sacrifice, explain herself, justify who she is..
For the right to love a boy?

And to the parents who make me feel like a burden,
Each time they complain about my existence in this gloomy house; its a knife to my stomach
You see, I've grown tired of crying off the stress
Since when was my life a giant web of a mess?
I've learned many things from people I wanted to surround myself with
now all I know is that love is setting fire to a built bridge

And yet...
Here I am, a page away from a new chapter
Here comes the autumn, and what comes after
Here comes college, two years; too long of a wait
Here comes new memories to make the bad ones fade away

For far too long I studied my attic
Studying the architecture;
The beams making a perfect gallows-like feature

I took a long flight out to Colorado to escape the demons and find inner peace
But sometimes these demons still follow me...

Like a ******* addict needs a quick fix,
I need constant fixes of happiness
The search never ends; for things to pass the time
The search never ends; for distractions that keep me from pulling out this hair of mine
Though I look for things to do;
Painting, reading, music, what ever I choose..
I have become numb and less motivated
Numb, with lack of motivation
A poisonous pair of walking shoes
A painful pair of walking shoes
In due time,
Give me the strength to pick a compass over a noose

My skin is white, like porcelain,
soft and fragile to the touch
A blank canvas, so clean and innocent
one would think such beauty is enough
But when I listen to the most inspiring music
I hear piano and the lyrics, the words become my skin
And so I look to my body,
thinking of where I can begin
May my body become the book of a Poet
as I listen to the words as they become inked on my skin
Such beauty is sacrificed for another beauty;
Beautiful words instead of smooth porcelain
And although you may never know it,
I embrace my new skin-bound talisman
Every cursive line
will follow me to my death
Every lyric
will never fail to steal my breath
May the music become my skin; may music become my skin