I'm applying foundation on my face
though my skin isn't a house it puts everything in its place
Now I'm applying eyeliner to my eyes
'cause hiding the fear isn't easy without these bold black lines
And they break and they drain down my cheek with each tear
so much for those hidden fears

Blush can't hide my un-liveliness,
Gloss alone won't give me that fatal kiss
The one that's toxic, it's toxic to a blow
but at least my lips will have a gentle glow

And I pull, and I pluck the hairs
And I apply, and I powder the tears
And I tweeze, so I can please
And I apply. And I apply.

It's just a little makeup, she said.
A little touch up never hurt anyone, did it?

You hide my face, you hide my face.
But I'm a prisoner behind this mask,
and that's all it really takes.

Now I'm applying eyeliner to my eyes..
cause I can't go on throughout my day without these bold black lines.

He knows it when I'm tired,
he never bothers to ask
I always lay my head in the crease of his chest,
and I fall asleep fast
His fingers swipe my hair away from my face,
while my eyes remain closed..I drift away to a dreaming state
I hear his voice, playful whispering in my ear...
I speak up, sleepy, "What did you say, dear?",
No.
Wake up!
The TV is still on, the clock ticks midnight....
but his arms...where did they go?
Look at the picture frame on the wall,
see his face with the words "In Loving Memory...",

...."I have to let you go."

At first it seems like you're almost there..
the place or goal you've worked ******* all year
Then you trip or stumble on something so minuscule
Like one less dollar on your paycheck or something more critical
"If I had only done this.." You mumble in your breath
You blame yourself for your own dream's death
You dig and you dig until you're across the seas
Seems like the hole you're in is just plain too deep
No matter how many times you get told to "take baby steps"
Some days... You don't give a **** about yourself or the rest.
Dig and dig more until you almost see Hell's fire,
you're digging without trying, this was never your desire
At this moment, pretty much, you're just sinking in...
and this is when you question,
"Which wolf in me will win?"

I miss the simplicity of reading notes
that would melt me into someone new
I miss our afternoon walks
I miss being next to you
In my mind we are cuddling,
I steal a kiss from your cheek
I run my fingers through your hair,
We nudge at each others' feet
In my mind we are kissing under purple candlelight,
In my mind,we are sighing from content and delight
In my mind there are scenarios,
much different than what there is now
I'm already next to you, you see,
but it's too late to show you how.

My demons, they are loud
but start out soft in my mind
More and more they grow,
their voices become my crimes
"You want it", they whisper,
"You need it", they scream
But I am just their user, their host in my dream
I sit back and laugh at them,
"You think you have a hold on me?
Old habits die hard, but the effort is worth being free!"

"Silly girl,", they snap, like wolves that show their teeth,
"you treat us like we're an enemy, but only you hold the key."
And so I embrace them, like old friends that sit around a fire,
"I'm listening," I tell them, "what is it you desire?"
"We only wish to be heard, not feared, although it seems,
as if we are evil..but evil exists in everything.
You have temptations, aye, that is our fault.
You lack concentration, you'll be taught
"You see, silly girl," They tell me, "ugly we may be-..but the only way to face us, is to embrace our chaotic company."