I am troubled and I am scared
But I try to do my best

There are times I do think
I am being put to test

I like mathematics
Cliff Pickover is the best!

Peace in the early morning.
Quiet. A little rest.

                     Yes

Mental illness
And transience
The pain that living brings

Chaos
Violence
Lost wedding rings

Sleep
Solitude
At times ancient things

Chaos
Hopelessness
February flings

So the question forming is:
How do I go down?
Don't like hospitals
When Love Comes To Town

Mind still on First Things
Lonely but ok
Oakland Catholic Worker
Daniel Berrigan. Dorothy Day.

Dr. William Thomas
Please intercede
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Jimmy Reed Indeed

One life, one life only
But our souls or spirits grow
Patientia
Slowly Overthrow

                          Lo!

54 and forming today
Year of rolling thunder
Year of patient waiting
Year of silent wonder

A little basketball
My father in L.A.
Jaws, Richard Dreyfuss
Maybe San Jose

At 4 I bore the ring
1973
Frodo, **** Yang Ming
Frodo, xie xie ni

               Let it be ...

ordinary life, ordinary death
            flawed, troubled
             disappearances

rabbits and squirrels
         basketball
        womengirls

No one important
Drift toward death
        fatherhood

Didn't sleep too well
Cemetery Road
Mount St. Michel
Ghost of Old Tom Joad

Tired, weary waiting
Not much to do today
3 hours work
Basketball to play

Exoplanets spin
Extrasolar water
Never read Anais Nin
Don't know what he taught her

Merciful within
Compassion for myself
If Trump or Desantis win
Then Legolas the Elf

                  Guelph

5:55
Am I happy to be alive?

I miss my 3 young sons
I miss having fun

I wait for a little money
So serious; rarely funny

The quiet and the rain
My bipolar brain

Hospitals no more
Near the boys, por favor

          por favor, Senyor

I reach out
But I can't reach
55 and falling


London Calling!

55 and falling
Far from Susan Meek
Cosmic distances
Aliens we seek

He bought my lunch today
For which I say thanks
Studying Charlemagne
He was King of the Franks

I'm not King of anything
My comfy couch is green
All That Jazz
Mr. Ben Vereen

3 prayers for Chicago
But I am in DC
In Tel Aviv the wedding
In Dublin meant to be

                      Si.

I'm no one important
No great philosopher
An amateur poet
A bipolar dad

Life is Absurd
America is Ignorance
55 and falling
Sweet Sir Galahad

Sleep late and long
Troubled
Lonely
Sad.

I take 6 different medicines
             see the doc
                  sleep

55 and falling
Try to do my best
American Despair
I need a little rest

Please, Life, protect my boys
Qualyxian the Quest
Tired. Exoplanets.
Way out, Way out West

The pain that living brings
             Distances

              Isolation

The Absurd.
Midlife crisis
    falling

Troubled soul
       Falling
           Yo

No one important
      Daily life
      My sons!

56
Alive but sick
Moby ****!

I wish I wish I wish
I wish but wish in vain
56 and falling
I need a bullet train

Seattle sure is pretty
So is Purple Rain
56 and falling
No one is to blame

Yes, I love to travel
and venture forth at dawn

My wife and children with me
The road goes ever on

Aware as where we share
Overcome the yawn

Then silent in the twilight
The graceful grazing fawn.

The Princess Bride
Galaxy Quest
Into the Spiderverse
Midnight Special
Arrival

If I do one day have grandchildren
hopes, prayers, windwishes
for their

Surviiiiiival!

Once I was a teacher
Now I'm just a dad
Cycling sunlit Stockholm
Best time I ever had
Coleridge bipolar
William Blake gone gently mad
My sons in Wetheral
See Sweet Sir Galahad

               Egad!

Me: Would you watch Michael Clayton?There's a bipolar character in the movie I identify with.

Her: Yes, I would.

Walking alone in Denver
                 no malice; beauty chalice
                                 I tell her true (though we never were datin') …

                                                        Michael Clayton

Americans are only 5 per cent of the world's population
But nearly 25 percent of the world's prisoners
The ocean is in motion
Bipolar elevation

San Francisco Zen Center: silent meditation
Moroccan mint tea
Fog blows through the bridge
Quixotic reputation

Istanbul at night:  dreamt of destination
Turkish coffee in London
Turkish psychiatrist in Reno
Prestidigitation

Preachin' peace and harmony, but a time for devastation
Is Batman a vigilante?
Is Catwoman a lesbian?
Jokes in the police station

                     Interrogation

I lose the will to live
But then it comes on back

The cruelty of life
The ignorant attacks

Tonight I need to sleep
Wonder if I'll dream

I sleep again alone
So if you hear me scream

This strange Twilight Zone
Is not quite what it seems.

So I read today online
Mr. Markson may have written
A 5th volume. Still unpublished.
I want to read that book!

I am drawn to the solitaries
Emily in Amherst. Merton in Kentucky.
David Markson in New York.
Wittgenstein: Don't think; Look!

Bookstores. Libraries. Museums.
In my solitude
Lost loves
Musical interludes

Theaters at night
Outside cedarsnow
Xanadu's deep delight
Which I will never know

     Showed her though

6 years of poems
    the emotion!
          tired

Didn't do too well socially
Little townhouse, Flaming June
Tired, a bit morosely
Dr. Chong Kun Yoon

Mostly sleep all day
Please peace my dad
Beauty Baltic Sea
Best time I ever had

A few scifi movies
Basketball, calm
In Canada collisions
In Gilead the Balm?

              sad

I'm up again, did not sleep well
Planning to write a letter

How do women feel
When you say you can't forget her?

But this one is to a teacher
I want to write about schools

Maybe help my country
So no more Trumpfucks rule

               I like Steve Martin
                         He's cool.

I used some hateful words
And I have remorse

I believe in marriage
And I fear divorce

Mine is agonia
Please protect my sons

Stockholm in the summer
Taipei 101

                     Fun!

It's isolation. It's true. It is.
The Silence is eternal
Hers and ours and His

The postcard poet
A friend
A frenemy

A seeker
Ms. Meek. Her.
Dad of 1 2 3

In my sadness
Empty Diamond
Pero o posterity!

       Patientia
     Chicago? Si.

I'm gonna alter things, break things
Wheel still in spin
Cardinal Newman is correct
You have to lose to win

I like Acca Dacca
Highway to Hell in Perth
More G.E. Moore
Less Alan Gewirth

Yes the University of Chicago
I still have many friends there
Please be patient with me
Help me do and Dare

Darling Nikki, Darling Wendy
Susan Darlene Meek
I play basketball
We play hide and seek

     GreekJew is JewGreek

60637
Chicago on my mind

The British love in heaven
Seek and ye shall find

So long David Brooks
You deserve Chiraq

Peace to pizza cooks
Fr. Greeley's books come back

Both assistance and attack.

Catholic but not orthodox
Bangkok Buddha blue
Contradictions, Benedictions
Horton Hears a Who

Postcards in the mail
Books, movies too
Me in summer Charlotte
Kublai Khan in Xanadu

Lost in Translation
Kyoto in the Fall
She in snowy Denver
We in Wetheral

The poetry of place!
Trains, planes, ferry boats
El futuro Space!
Irish pubs and blue notes

               Chicago ...

I approach the Windy City
I remember Father Greeley

Nearly 30 years have passed
But I approach aware and freely

The winds in Chicago
Nearly tore me to shreds

Reality is always
In too many heads

I want to love and protect you
Because I care

Men ask the Way
Women stare

      I dare!

It's isolation. It's true. It is.
The Silence is eternal
Hers and ours and His

The postcard poet
A friend
A frenemy

A seeker
Ms. Meek. Her.
Dad of 1 2 3

In my sadness
Empty Diamond
Pero o posterity!

       Patientia
     Chicago? Si.

I like the phrase Thy will be done
But I don't know if Thy is real
I pray for those I love
Beg, borrow, steal

I'm sad so very often
I'm still afraid to die
I'm drawn to several religions
I reread Life of Pi

Tried to be a good teacher
Pretty difficult job
Ja Morant on the break
Jokic with the lob

Think I had a precognitive dream
Warning of the fascists
Dyess, Arkansas
That's where Johnny Cash is

It's too late to turn back now
It's possible I'll be studied
Chicago, Rolling Stones
Muddy Waters muddied

         Fear and Trembling

Up early this morning
Walk the Empty Diamond
Sky turning blue
John Brown on my mind

Batman Begins
Off in distant Asia
Face his fear and guilt
William Thatcher's father goes blind

Got my eye on Florida
Talking with my neighbors
Women's intuition
World of strange design

Let me stay open
Responsive, willing to learn
If the kairotic moment
Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine

                       Listening ...

Black pavement, glistening rain
            I **** in the grass
                      Stars!

6:06 a.m.
Palindromic time

Madam I'm Adam
Palindromic rhyme

Keeping calm. Taking steps.
Both feet on the ground

The wind blows in the trees
Mysteries abound

                 Puget Sound

P.S.

Gold Coast slave ship bound for cotton fields
Sold in the market down in New Orleans
Skydog Slaver know he's doin' alright
Hear him whip the women just around Midnight

Brown Sugar! How come you taste so good?

Brown Sugar! Just like a young girl should.

At times I cling to gratitude
Do not want to be bitter
Lonely isolation
Rain came down came rain

Markson blew me away
Thanks be for basketball
Protection please
misty grey

            late in the day?

Awake in the Night
Highway 61
New Orleans, Louisiana
Held up without a gun

Why, Judi, Why?
I'll show you if I can
Black family reunion
Mo from Afghanistan

Mohammed and Khadija
Comfort in the terror
Disturbed by Ayesha
Even prophets can make errors

Time like an Ocean
An Ocean like my soul
Stay on my Asian islands
Midnight's broken toll

        Vietnamese summer rolls

tired, tired
hope floats

The swirl all afternoon
But thankfully it has passed
A bit of calm
Night

My son asleep
My brothers far
To my car
Quite

                       Tired.

Un Escritor, Un Escritor
Cool Grey City of Love
Thank you for my father
Thank you, Andy Dove

Lonely cool before dawn
High school long ago
Misty Seattle rain
Pristine Lake Tahoe snow

Christine in the kitchen
Hello, Mary Jane
Never been to Heaven
Never been to Spain

Been to San Diego
Been to Santa Fe
Sent Alex the Dao De Ching
Bill Porter si! xie xie
    
.       let the music play!