High strung and shaking
Body? no, mind aching
Feet chasing,
Heart racing,
Memory making,
Love craving,
Soul.
               *restless, and
                               full of pain

Sanity is knowing, there is no such thing as sanity.

Everything is ending,
So here I sit, waiting it out alone
Though the time on the clock
Is moving ever so slow

I just jumped on my
Bed for the first time
In 25
Years

I always told you i dont know what i did to deserve you,
And maybe i didnt deserve you.
But i still love you like theres no tomorrow
Maybe you just came along to show me life was worth living,
Indeed it was after i met you
[emphasis on after]
But it means nothing without you.
Ever since i met you ive beaten myself up over the times i wasnt there for you.
They asked me to describe you and all i could think of was the warmth of your hugs and the sound of your voice,
The way you put up a brave front all the time,
Your inner child,
Your giggle and your smile,
They asked me if i like to go sight-seeing,
But all i could think of is how your eyes shine like the full moon,
how your hugs make me feel like im at the top of the highest mountain
So yes i do like sight seeing
They asked me once if i like to swim
And all i can think of is how your voice makes me feel like im floating in the ocean.
So yes i do like swimming.
My love for you is like numbers
Never ending
Infinite
All i want you to know is that i spend most of my time thinking about you
Hoping we'd be thinking of the same thing
So that our thoughts would meet
Right now im thinking of the ocean
(I hope you are too)
Our thoughts could cross paths at the ocean
(Maybe not)
I will always think to myself
'You'd love this, i wish you were here'
Because everything beautiful makes me sigh,
Sigh because as beautiful as it is it doesn't compare to your beauty
You're stubborn and im hot headed
You're insane and i love you

i grow bored and quite tired of
the same old routine that
i havent touched or really been involved in for a while because
i have invested my energies into such things as
drawing and illustrating and dreaming and wishing and
definitely not preparing for college or my senior year of high school which
starts this year but im so not ready for and not interested in and if you ask me
i really dont want to have a last year of high school at all but
just draw and illustrate and dream and wish

i feel so restless

She drew an s  shape on my foot with a stick
I lay there, paralysed with fear,
thinking was this the subtle beginning
of a programme of torture.
Her white coat and stethoscope
glinting in the strip lighting.

She asked me if I knew where i was.
I lay there, frozen with fear,
not able to open my mouth.
I could read letters on her name badge
I read it as Dr Helliday
So that's where i was
I thought, that confirms it
along with her snake charming smile.

She tried to get me to drink
But I lay there stiff with fear,
not wanting to open my mouth
in case it was poison.
She placed a wet sponge on my lips
my eyes widening in terror.

Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?
She said gently
I lay there tensed up with fear.
I thought it must be a trap
I couldn't open my mouth
and fall in.

I was seeing things around me
that pinned me to the bed with fear.
Patients pouring blood out of windows.
shadows of nurses in nooses.
I screamed inwardly.
But could not open my mouth
for fear had clamped it shut