My ivory skin compliments your white lies
broke into my castle underneath my skin
walked all over the clean floors and broke all the windows
Reminded of you every time the wind blows
my queen bed making my ego feel inferior
Got under my skin, cannot even feel safe in my own interior
my secret oasis of waterfall tears, interrupted by your bittersweet dears
leave me strung out on feelings of ecstasy and empathy
the cycle of manipulation and the growth of green envy
Slowly wrapping around my neck, squeezing my back
under the enchantment of your snake eyes
the devil takes many forms didn't expect it to feel so right
Drape me in your energy as I kiss the moonlight

I have been getting high
Waking up without a clear ending of the last night
Living in the present until I can fly
To a new world, of new forms
To a new world, with reform
So I don’t have the burden of truth that I must succumb to
Do not have to prove my worth to anyone if I don’t want to
To just float around and kiss the cheeks of many
Not a servant of capitalism, no thoughts of pennies
Or nickels, just the dime that caught my eye
Just a leaf that sits on the breeze
Someone destined for me
Who I will find in the time
My karma coming to my side
No negativity only prizes
Whatever falls down will continue rising

Like a snake shedding skin, Only holding my identity to the moment
You want to keep me frozen in time, frozen in space
But I wasn’t even the same person a dozen days ago, constantly embrace the flow
From one goal to the next, from one bed to the next
Never dreaming of what's ahead, just ready for any tests
Might trip up on my coolness and ponder on our past
The long chats, the defined abs
Abstract my memories are
Glimpses in my art
Fell before our hands met
My heart burning up like a cigarette
**** you still got your hook deep in this Pisces’ head

The only consistent thing having my back is my corset
always try to build connections but will never force it
I have come to peace with oneness, I know its all about how I perceive aloneness
Cannot say that some days I do not sway
Teardrops mimic the rains, falling falling away
Each day different energy to conquer
An ambitious rida like my anthem by Tupac Shakur
Summer perfumed memories making me hate the chilly breeze
Such a beautiful array of colours but my mind is stuck on green
Memories of the nights we laid underneath the moon's eyes
Everyday communication through the 3 and 5-D
Forget how much I loved my own eyes, vivid green that can pierce through lies
Hips blessed with the holy fruit of the divine
With you and without everyone I will continue to thrive
As long as I can inhale., I will thrive
As long as my hands are mine to control, I will express my thoughts on my mind
As long as my spine allows, I will climb that mountain no doubt
Always extending the lands I have touched.

Toes digging into the water, my mind is so clear
Floating on the boat forgetting my fears
Kissing the sun forgetting you my dear
Hair perfumed with salt, beach waves
Skin laced with lotion, sunbeams
Smile painted on, the house of cards cave
Makes me soar like dragonflies and rationalize my problems let them be disguised
Within the shivering black that the sun cannot penetrate
Within the deepest depths that harbor sea monsters' eyes
A mouth of chiseled layered teeth and skin so scaly and slick
No ounce of fear I have inside
Relaxing within its mouth because my rise was prophesized

I wipe the tears away at night
I handle the storms inside
I trust in my own light
I surrender to the divine
I am more than my emotions and more than my moments
I am a sum of all the lives I've lived and every heart I've kissed
I've lost and won but they bleed into one
The experience and memories are all that follow me not my accolades and trophies
I take each day to target my pain and eradicate it away
Every day is a new beginning to start a new way
Like the fool, I am in constant change
My nomadic mind cannot be tied
To one culture or one belief
Because that would be preventing me
From being as open as the thousand petal lotus
I am devoted to nothing except my destiny
The road very sporadic ahead and can only see as much as I am meant to be
But according to God's plan, I am winning
I throw myself off of mountains to connect to the sea
I throw myself off track when I don't believe in me
I know I am not alone in this world and will never be
Not with my ancestors and angels protecting me
I have experienced pain and sorrow but at their discretion
I have also experienced an overwhelming amount of blessings
So I have taken them as they come including the lessons
Because I was put on this earth for a reason and I have to respect it

I craved intimacy, thought your hand on me would free me
I thought that if you embraced my waist, all my tears would fade
I thought pain and shame would be buried in my adoration of you
But little did I know love is a scary thing and I subconsciously ran before it caved in too
So this cycle I perpetuate leaves me in a constant state of disarray
I can't decide which fear controls me inside but I do recognize I need to change the ties
Like a spider creeping on my back, my cat appears with love
Rubbing her head against everything craving my attention indefinitely
The eyes closed, so close, the love I have been craving
So I give the love I been craving to my baby and she returns it to me
Suddenly the act of loving unconditionally is no longer foreign to me

Following the waterfalls birthed from my jade eyes, I feel duede
I feel free, connected to the divine and welcoming happy endings
To my problems that are rendered insufficient by the grand scheme of things
I recommend introspection to get to the root of things
To not be clouded by the snow mist that sits upon our minds
Freezing the creativity preventing us the ability to thrive
To spend all our time dissecting lies
To spend our time believing eyes
But deep within our intuition knows
That they are lying simply by the crinkle of their nose
Or the bead of sweat dancing elegantly on their forehead
My sixth sense I cannot pretend
Not to notice the lack of devotion and the bubbling of repressed emotion
Just close your eyes and dive into the blue blue ocean

Alone another night, victim to my mind
Trying to write the feelings down, scratch that and rewrite
None of the words and sentences accenting the pain enough
I am tired of this replaying movie, can it stop?
Manifest something different as the sun descends
Hoping that I can have a partner in crime to cry to
Another lonely night hoping that Clyde can save my life
Maybe not save per se but alleviate this pain
Of being stray harboring waterfalls of strain
Give me a rush like ******* but do not hurt me the same
Waiting for my Clyde in vain
Let us wait

I used to begrudge
I used to dream of
My family unit resembling the ones on the screen
Disney was the culprit of my delusions and dreams
That in my current situation could never fathom peace
But in my puddles of tears, I finally see the crown on me
The emerald accentuating my babydoll eyes
These eyes that vow not to cry
Over many things, I lust for
And trustful in the universe
That will deliver everything meant for me
In spades
Convinced me that was bound to be would be
Then suddenly I was the powerful being I was meant to be

I will pretend this day doesn't exist
Just like the person, it demands remembrance
But only in the locked ivory pages of my diary

The pain I have yet to unpack all come rushing back
The memories of you and the present lack
I cannot say you were an inspiration
I cannot say you taught me how to be a good man

I can say that behind my willowed face of pain
That I will always be apart of you but not in vain
I will take the gifts bestowed and continue to grow
Without you and let karma give you the seeds you sowed
All poisonous like the tainted water I had to grow in
Your toxicity within me so potent

Invaded my home unwillingly like a rodent
We supposed to be forever and always but your actions rendered you an opponent
I was hand-fed rage by your hard hands and I failed to notice.

Goddess but I am modest
Your whole heart I hold
Trace it with my fingertip melt it into gold
We are abundant like our clothes on the floor
Loving you all on fours

Touch your pools of mocha claimed them as my own
Tainting my notion of love I've come to know
Was it all fantasy? What I previously believed
Or was I simply staring into a black hole
The unknown

But with you, we bridge the gap
Between the known and the yet to know
Love your tone, so deep and low
Hug me close until you have to go
Love me like I am Marilyn Monroe

You see my icy disposition but never questioned
Is he as stone-cold as his eyes?
Or is it all a lie?
I have gotten good at masking all the damage
I have gotten good at presenting the perfect package
But underneath the visibility, you would see oceans of feelings
You see the tip of the iceberg, my ego
If you never dive in deep then you'll never truly know
Who I am when I am alone or when I feel at home
The scars underneath these modest clothes
The tender warm waters birthing a rose
For my prince charming that can melt my throes
Waiting for the day I can really show
Who I am without attack

The wind whispers in my ear to take a leap
With blind fate trust divine fate
A fool balancing on a thin line, straight to heaven
But my death could be my investment

But if I don't go I'll have thoughts of regret that overflow
My cups of abundance
Always second-guessing your loving but never could really know
But I take off my rose coloured glasses and close my eyes

Let my intuition and your vibe be the guide
To carefully step, one at a time
Until next thing I know I am falling to die

The abrasive breeze suddenly carrying me
Spirit would never let me plummet to my demise
The wind underneath my wings eager to save my life
Next time I won't negotiate in my mind
Just simply walk the line

You understand the cycle of generational trauma, birthed from hurt to cause drama
You understand communication styles that dip their pedicured toes into ***** waters
You understand the impact of microaggression and discontentment

But you don't know what love is
The examples you had only you taught you how to be toxic
Birthed patterns within me that restrict me
Anxiety reaching new heights as we reach the peak

Sleeping with you closer to me in cause a sudden dream prompts you to leave
If you love something set it free but what if you don't return to me
Emptiness I would feel because I never knew what love was
Until it was too real and I let my fears dismantle what would've been soulmate love.

Brilliant beams sent by the moon to me
Always understanding my perfect remedy
Whenever the world is too chaotic I can always come to you for peace
And serenity
Guaranteed that I will feel better and at ease
The orange flower birthed in my subconscious
The bud was never a tracked process
Like a rose that grew from concrete, we grew from doom
From trauma and drama, it conceived me anew
Get me my broom, let me taste the sky
Get me my love, let us dance all night
Put me underneath your tongue, show you a joyride
Love being in love with you, so different than what we knew

Silence is scary because it means all your thoughts remain in your head
Femme Fatale, black widow waiting for the vibrations of the web
Insecure in my feelings I weep, grand dreams of being wed
But too often the bridesmaid but that is beside me

I just wish I never followed this path again
I could've trusted my intuition and not the way you led
Instead of harboring my ocean inside, I freeze
Focus on anything, the trees, the buzzing bees
But time after time I can feel you creep into my head
My emotional seas uprooted by your breeze
Reminding me of your touch, the way you breathe, the lack

Hoping finally the key I need would come to me
Open me up like a door exposing my heart to the floor
After years of leave, frozen perfectly
You exposed me to everything, now my body needs

Maybe I tried escaping myself by diving into you
But how I forget that you simply a mirror
Showcasing my biggest fear... myself

Godsent; tangled in bed
Loveless until I heard the first word you said
Solitude to interweaving my hands with you
Penetrating the thoughts in my head
Cannot escape your eyes or memories of your hand

Your energy I am drunk off again
Moments with you I can feel my ascent
Body morphed into yours; wearing your scent
Love is beyond simply frolicking in bed

It's a state of a mind, an appreciation
It's a sweet embrace, no complications
In love with your body but your mind grabs me
Piques my interest, keeps me invested

Want my fingers to graze every cell of your brain
Want to taste every memory filled with pain
Absorb all your emotions and connect again
I have a feeling it's you and me at the end

it's your arms.. and your face
it's your body... and your warm embrace
it's your lips... and the heart I trace

Fatal position but not the same
Somehow different, but consistent
The ying to my yang, opposition
Usually tame but feeling open
Nuclear Nectarine; our bodies are fluent
In speech beyond movements eat into my aura
Love beyond emotion dive into my pandora
The love conceiving anew, the bloom of flora

So scary but so sweet, so foreign to me
The bomb discreet, explode onto me
Grip my body as you reaching the peak
Don't let your ego control you let your soul speak
Nuclear Nectarine

There’s always been a hairline fracture in my heart
The beats odd and off
There’s always been a strange attraction to the dark
Can’t decide if it’s evil or not
I hear the seductive whispers of something from the far
I clutch my fist and pretend I’m in my home
With my eyes closed, my mind roams
From the place I’ve known, to the place I can go
The white light creeping in like a cat
The blue hues painting my toes like the waves of the shore
The bliss I feel cannot be counterfeit
But that was just another of your many lies
To make it want it so bad that you could come inside
But I cannot go with you and you cannot go with me
I’m learning the lesson of filling my own cup
I’ve grown tired of my tired father drinking my cup
I’ve grown tired of the lack of fatherly love
I’ve grown tired of being the one always left out
I’ve created walls that rival China
I’ve created walls that dynamite can hardly dent
I’ve created a lush jungle that exists in between the bricks
My happiness rolled in once I realized there was nothing I needed to fix
That love was a birth right and not a prize for doing something right
My lack of love taught me the power of love, that I can make inside