I S A A C

I S A A C Jul 2023

no more

confusion is my resting place
my curiosity never ends
i pick apart things to put them together again
i like change and cycles
i think change is vital
but my emotions muddled the puddle
my hope is lost in the rumble
trembling to stay still, fumbling to keep real

#rest #real

I S A A C Jul 2023

Hounds

shame leaving me a widow in the window
singing the haunting notes of doom
writing in blood with feather plumes
shame convinced me about you
the prince carries broken promises
i thought i could stitch, ditch the rust
the jagged edges continued to cut
fiction, your diction, death by a thousand cuts
in and out of honeymoons, in and out of therapy rooms
beating me down mentally never enough for you
obtrusive, abusive, obtaining the useless
to use it, to ruin, dispensing the fruitless
beat me down, screaming out, enough is enough
call back your hounds
this is not love

#hounds #honeymoon #haunting

I S A A C Jul 2023

discerning 3rd eye glows

scrolling or snoring
calls from men and divine i am ignoring
ponder on topics not so boring
trying time, double my dosage
ivory mind, cracked porcelain
back to scrolling then snoring
either wrapped up in work or my blanket
my daydreams like lightening
suddenly flash, reality i cannot grasp
then a voice follows mumbling crass
words, worlds, bridges, roads
open doors then immediately close
it is scary, it is a journey
that my soul has been yearning
discerning 3rd eye glowing

#green #glow #grasp #gain

I S A A C Jul 2023

House of Mirrors

stifled in this house of mirrors
thought my promised love was here
my flaws become all too clear
critical seeds deposited deep
i can see them blossom here
rose petals, swollen fruits
but no pair in this house of mirrors
cracked the case, racked my brain
all this data, i need to leave it
in this house of mirrors my confidence is decaying
my ego grows tired, i lean into yoga
realize my ego’s expired, my old life is over
my stability is fading
in this house of mirrors i saw possibilities
in this house of mirrors i saw atrocities
in the shadows of ambiguity, i almost lost me
balancing beam, shattering dreams
warped perception, endless maze
biological embrace, removal of societal shame
this house of mirrors lives with me today

#perception #possibilities #pair #petals #promised

I S A A C Jul 2023

tree

stepping from the shadows into the penumbra
violent salty seas return to chaotic calms
i understood in the beginning but i’ve lost the plot along
the way, days bleed into days, mistakes live in the grey
tumbling towards the sea from cloud nine dreams
idealistic, unrealistic, done climbing the tree
done trying to see
past the unclarity, revoke my charity
done climbing the tree

#tree #penumbra

I S A A C Jul 2023

Without a Trace

my biggest fear is to forget
forget how my lips stretched into a smile
forget how my comments made you giggle when you were raining tears
my biggest fear is to be forgotten
like the shoes that carried you 100km or the eldest daughter
my biggest fear is too common
just like me, riding the waves of insecurity
peace is a breath away but so is shame
the only thing unforgotten in my brain
the way it stitches my situation
the way it feeds the roaring flame
my footprints in the sand are destined to wash away
my biggest fear is to exist without a trace

#exist #existence #forget #forgotten

I S A A C Jul 2023

quilt of shame

Upon the announcement of my arrival
my ancestors weaved brillant threads to make a quilt for my bed
with steadfast hands, they weaved themselves a plan
who i was to become, what kind of man
upon the days of my arrival
my ancestors fantastically wrapped me up in the quilt of blue and red
this quilt housed me for many seasons
itched me, pinched me, left me cold at night
bit me, tripped me, straggling my rights
the brillant quilt made to protect became my golden cage instead
their plan created my strife
their plan corseted my life
after years spent suffocating in the threads
i decided to break away from the plan
emerging like a little chick out of an egg
i chose to live my life today
still the foundation laid was unscathed
every trigger sent my heart into disarray
independence fortified, return to the egg
the quilt might be itchy, it might be tight
but it is easier than learning how to fly

#quilt #shame #gay #homophobia #shameful #fly #egg #renaissance