blindsighted
i've stopped trying
this whole time, you were a fraud lying
blindsighted
i'm done crying
these bold lies, you were a fraud hiding
snake eyes, snake lips
jealous, bitter, narcissistic scripts
sweet nothings, fake adoration
this i could never predict

happy holidays, fresh white snow
eggnog ***** and fuzzy robes
red nose reindeer and frost-bitten toes
jingle bells and warm throws
happy holidays, hot black coal
SZA's SOS album and ctrl
apple pies and chip-filled bowls
cinnamon candles and a hearty soul

releasing this album has to be the hardest thing I have ever done
always wanted to but shame suppressed
hundreds of files, hundreds of tears wept
my heart painted across instrumentals and melodies
nervous, will people get me?
get the metaphors, get the meaning
purpose, will I let me?
embark on a journey toward the sun
leave everything I hated having to become
shed a few layers, re-introduce me
climbing to the top, sorry excuse me

gave you a mile
but you wouldn’t even take an inch
tried to be sweeter
just a pinch
tried to be a holiday
to the grinch
i tried to love someone tactless
i cried too much for a fake prince

i am a robot
stuck behind all these roadblocks
what came first?
the road or the blocks
i wish i didn’t give a ****
i wish i understood what it was
riddled with curiosity, plagued with confusion
never understanding the extent of my emotion
i am a robot
i am a token
i was made to be used
made to be broken