I S A A C

I S A A C Mar 2022

ive been going out every weekend
i dont know if its bad or good
i don’t know if im sad or masking
I dont know if i am replacing habits with other bad habits
maybe im the bad habit
the liable rabbit that fell down the rabbit hole
i always seem to overflow
producing tears by the bucket load
i didnt mean to unload too much
unfold too much, save that for drunken spring brunch
grateful for my team, i know that much
but its hard to me to show my real love
but i live and i learn, i larbour and earn
i wait for my turn, the tables always seem to turn
take a left, trust i’m right, work the day, come alive at night

#weekend #brunch #spring #live #learn #bucket #overflow

I S A A C Mar 2022

friendship

so much mystery surrounding me
so much inner journey I am bound to be
taking on in the future, so insecure about my future
but truck along fiending for gas, I take it day by day with a little sass
still don’t drink coffee and you can hold the flask
so trying to outrun the trauma from my Dad
it's a tough pill to swallow and that’s usually no issue for me
thank god I traded all that for ****, I always was attracted to green
aquamarine baby, no march aries
pisces like the koi fish coasting on the crystal blue water
evolving, healing stuck in the past no longer
moment by moment, touch by touch, hands entwined
friendship showed me love

#friendship #crystal #blue #inner #gas #flask #aquamarine #green #march

I S A A C Mar 2022

acid teardrops

they are polluted by my delusion
they were born to ruin
my tears are acidic and my burden is heavy
my fears are basic and I feel incomplete already
it's a lot to wrap my head around, especially when my feet are not on the ground
I'd rather ride the clouds or catch a wave
who determined that life had to be so grey, day in and day out
paychecks in and I already spent it, this hole I cannot get out
my teardrops are acid and my god I cannot hold them in any longer
my emotions are stronger the longer they harbor.

#acid #teardrops #pisces #clouds #wave #grey #burden #acidic #paychecks

I S A A C Mar 2022

greyscale

i like to revel in the grey
black and white too straight
i like to read in between the lines
i would like for you to be mine
but only if you want to
I only want you in this room, underneath the full moon
kiss until it’s noon, is forever too soon?
from dusk to dawn, the king or the pawn
as long as you want to play, my hand is yours to take
from weak to strong, we can build each other up
as long as you want to lay, always together through the night and day

#greyscale #king #pawn #dusk #dawn #build #between #the #lines

I S A A C Mar 2022

cold march nights

its been 2 years, I grew so much but I still carry the same fears
the fears that you kissed, your hand I still miss
I always have the memories but even those start to slip
it's all the ****, it's all the daydreams
my days start to bleed, I need a trip
I need to escape, I need a bridge to get across these violent waters
my emotions are stronger the longer they harbour
I return to that day in your car where the rain fell so hard
could barely hear rain on me on the radio
I think of you no matter where I go
I see you with your boo in Turks and Caicos
I see you living it up and not day goes
by where you don't
cross my mind, got myself in so much trouble in the pursuit to find
someone that shares your light, someone that takes their time, someone who is actually worth my time
you just wished me a happy birthday and I wish the convo never ended
I feel without you I am suspended
not able to move, not able to do anything but cry
as I watch the only good man I’ve ever met thrive
I wish I could say you were ****, I wish you hurt me harder
maybe then I wouldn’t be stuck like this, loved me better than my father
maybe I was just a pitstop til you found your forever
maybe I was destined to find better
but on these cold march nights, it's hard to keep that in mind
but on these cold march nights, I just want you in my sight
drown in your light, love you as you deserve
maybe that's what it boils down to
never met someone who
was worthy of my love, worthy of my touch

#march #nights #gaylove #hopeful #learning #lessons #suspension #pitstop #worthy

I S A A C Mar 2022

March 6

I'm 20 now, my logic still unsound
I still linger around and use **** to drown it out
I try to be perfect, be an adult, and keep working
but I am not perfect, it hurts knowing that it hurts showing that
but vulnerability is a virtue, I continue to work to
to shine my light to shed light on what might
be brewing under the surface, for a random observer
I'm 20 now, I hate the way it sounds
almost like the tik tok of a clock, I’m an adult now
my prime is coming to an end retail therapy to pretend
I'm not where I want to be, I'm not happy where I am
do I keep put on the track I'm on or do I switch lanes instead
too many tabs open in my head, too little time spent out of bed
I need to get on my own feet, I need to plant these seeds, I need to not burst at the seams
because I'm 20 now, cant wait to see it out
wondering where ill be, who’s beside me, and if I’ll still doubt

#twenty #growth #adulthood #change #transformation #growingpains #march #six

I S A A C Mar 2022

that night

loosely based on events that never took off
I refuse to let it die out, I can save some
of the memories, wash away the dirt on my name
play with the energies as if you were here all the same
as if I can hear you calling out my name, or whispering
my heart is whimpering looking for hot hands
to cradle my cranium and explore my wetlands
you were just my type of man, my perfect poison
I was just your type of victim, the perfect person
for you to disrespect, neglect, and gaslight
for you to pretend we were friends until that night
where you stripped me of more than my rainbow light

#gaylove #night #dirt #hands #whimpering #wetlands #poison #victim #memories