i’m too far to feel you
but i still remember your skin
and how it felt

the way it felt against my palm
and the way your hair went through the cracks of my fingers

i don’t see my face in your heart anymore
and i know i’m the last thing on your mind
you only call me when you’re drunk and alone

you told me you’d rather be in los angeles than sit with me in texas and try to fix the things that were falling apart

i still feel you lying next to me and i feel like running as far as i possibly can but i know everywhere i go, your ghost will follow

i’m choking on the ghost of you
while you’re downing a bottle of liquor
and pinning a girl to a mattress.

he had a moon tattooed on his arm because he loved the night

he told me i reminded him of the sun and he was ready to burn

but i don’t think he meant it because when my flames ignited, he was the first to run

or maybe those ashes on the floor were his.

the neighbourhood is playing in the background and you’re downing a bottle of liquor while i sit on the cold wooden floor with my knees to my chest

you were on your third bottle and i kept watching them pile up
you loved to ruin your body because you said it made you feel as if you had control.
you wanted control.

i think that’s why you always held my hand.
not because you loved me and wanted to
but because you felt as if you had to
in order to keep me in line

i watched you put another pill on your tongue
as your head went back.
i can’t stand the sight of you sometimes
and it makes me want to down that same bottle of liquor to ease my bitterness towards you

but if i did that
you’d call me a ******* alcoholic again.

this handsome devil had a way with my heart
he had a personality of a sly serial killer
and it wasn’t surprising when he had my blood on his hands

he told me that he’d give me the stars if i wanted them, the moon, and even the sun.

handsome devil always knew what to say to get me into his bed
he knew how to touch me to make me beg for more
he knew what he was doing when he pulled down my sundress

he called me angel who didn’t deserve to be corrupted by him, but somehow, he went back on his word. i’m now bathing in my sins.

his noceur soul leaves me wondering if he’s ever tired of the same **** thing. the endless sleepless nights, the fireball going down his throat as he inhales nicotine. i’m waiting through his phases, but the paroxysm in my heart and soul is overbearing.

you spend every friday and saturday night
with white dust attached and sprinkled on your nose. sometimes you’ll tell me it’s a quarter of the moon, and all of the gods have to taste the galaxy too.

you sometimes scream that i’m the worst addiction you have ever endured and sometimes you whisper that you don’t want to quit me. you tell me without me you can’t live
that my hands send you to the highest heavens and my lips make you taste it

you claim that the universe is that spot between my thighs, you also claim you know the route to the underworld and to get there is by pulling my spine

you ask me if i can save such a ******* soul
because you are drowning in my love
and i tell you it’s gonna be okay
while i tie the anchor around your feet.

the aeipthy feeling of this devil who devoured my heart last summer grows every morning and night. i can see still the pieces of my flesh in between his teeth when he smiles, and i never felt so empty.